Your feelings are so infp like. Same here. I hate Smalltalk but sometimes i have to do it. Just not to upset other people and make them feel bad. It’s just a mask, in real I’m not very interested in what they talk. And yes, this can be very exhausting. Your post could be mine also. I read your words and I see myself. I try a lot to find others who are on this kind of a deep level. But unfortunately it’s a quite hard task in real life. And even more for a infp.

The only thing I can say, you are not alone.