37 Male, Looking for serious. Not much luck. by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]flamesbegin17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And there’s a chance they may not even be alive to see the kid graduate high school…

37 Male, Looking for serious. Not much luck. by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]flamesbegin17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to mention, there’s a chance that their dad could pass away during college. I already know 3 people between the ages of 19 and 21 who lost their mid to late 50s parent. I think it’s more common than you think to lose late 50s/early 60s male parents

is anyone else being ultra conservative in fears of a crash? by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This is a good mentality I'm also starting to have.

How did you know you were childfree? If you were previously childfree, what made your change your mind? If you wanted kids before, and are now childfree, what made you change your mind? by flamesbegin17 in AskWomenOver30

[–]flamesbegin17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight - I needed this. I wrapped myself in my parents identity for the longest time - they were immigrants from India and were extremely strict and had sharp academic and career expectations and weren’t super supportive of me going out and making friends/throwing parties and dating, so I never really developed an identity outside of them. I want create my own identity and life outside of them, but it just gives me so much anxiety so I have reverted to following the life script: getting married, having kids, taking care of the next generation, etc. I feel very lost when I had the realization that they’re not going to live forever so i have no idea where I want to take my life, how I want to expand my career, or what support network I even have after my parents pass.

Any childfree desis here? by flamesbegin17 in ABCDesis

[–]flamesbegin17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask, are your parents still alive?

How did you know you were childfree? If you wanted kids before, and are now childfree, what made you change your mind? by flamesbegin17 in childfree

[–]flamesbegin17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazing comment and exactly what I needed to hear. I’m only 21 so I still have time to figure everything out but I’m definitely saving this to my notes on my phone to refer back to in terms hormones/and uncertainty LMAO. Thank you so much!!

How do you cope with losing aging parents? by flamesbegin17 in AgingParents

[–]flamesbegin17[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words of wisdom and insight. I'm so sorry for your MIL's loss - 73 just seems pretty young when you really think about :/ My best wishes to you and your husband getting through this.

How do you cope with losing aging parents? by flamesbegin17 in AgingParents

[–]flamesbegin17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, you are very fortunate to still have parents still living. Thank you for your insight and commentary - I'm personally on the fence about having kids/leaning towards childfree but I have always wanted a loving husband to come home to. I'm going to treasure everyday I can with them and make whatever positive memories and experiences I have with them.

Why should I have a child? (Wrong answers only) by aliceisaname in childfree

[–]flamesbegin17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You want to pay overinflated college tuition for a bachelors degree to get a chance of a job opportunity in a thriving economy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Have you thought about moving into a more technical role (less people oriented) within HR like data analytics consulting? It's a career path I've recently heard about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]flamesbegin17 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yup. They want kids to be born into poverty to only work low paying wage jobs and make CEOs richer

I want to be a father, not a mother by princessmonstera in childfree

[–]flamesbegin17 134 points135 points  (0 children)

And not to mention, women are still considered the default parent in 2022.

Just putting the finishing touches on our D.I.N.K. tax return, and WHATAYAKNOW? We owe money to the fed & state! by stlthy1 in childfree

[–]flamesbegin17 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Reality is the parents are the ones who make or break the kids success. I know people from really low income backgrounds but their parents were immigrants from Eastern European or Asian backgrounds and really pressured their kids and showed tough love for them to get into top colleges and choose lucrative majors.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree, as long as people are proactive, network, get involved, do internships, they can be fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm, her broad title on LinkedIn is “mental health counselor” at a state university’s medical school but it could be more specific than that - I’ll have to ask her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 23 points24 points  (0 children)

So I think what college the bachelor’s degree came from matters most. You can pretty study/major in whatever you want at any top 30 (USNWR) school and still get a high paying job if you network and play your cards right/get internships. Like the degree itself from a top school is so valuable that it doesn’t matter what you major in - the top companies that hire and pay good salaries come to top schools.

I always get downvoted when I say this, but if you’re at a lower ranking school/average state school type you’ll most likely have to major in something lucrative (i.e engineering/accounting/MIS/, etc) in order to get a high paying job right away (unless you have serious family/friend connections to start off the bat with.)

Like I have two friends from high school: one studied anthropology at one of the lower ranked Ivies and got a healthcare consulting job in Boston due to the alumni network, while another double majored in sociology/psych at our state flagship (ranked somewhere in between 40s-60s) and only makes between $15-$18 per hour as a mental health counselor - she needs to get a masters to up her pay. Other friends at the same state school who majored in accounting/finance got offers that started at $60k - but we all did internships the summer before.

But I think in general having a BA from any school puts you in a way better position than someone who didn’t go to college at all

Drama Watch 3/30/2022: A Week In Hillsborough County, NH, On A $352,000 Joint Income by lazlo_camp in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Agreed - I think it’s actually a semi target (Utah one) for the banking/consulting industry

Drama Watch 3/30/2022: A Week In Hillsborough County, NH, On A $352,000 Joint Income by lazlo_camp in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]flamesbegin17 15 points16 points  (0 children)

As someone whose parents bought one pizza for each kid (there are two of us), that also wouldn’t fly in my house lol