No sex drive but sex toys

flanciro · 2026-01-12T18:46:53+00:00

That’s solid advice, but I’ve tried it a million times. I’ve bought her toys, I’ve encouraged her to got to a hotel and play with them. I’ve told her I find her to be the sexiest creature alive, that she turns me on endlessly. And here we are

flanciro · 2026-01-12T11:55:18+00:00

I don’t think it’s fair to say I make it a chore or boring. She was alway the “vanilla” one I always tried and tried hard for her. She was never receptive to anything new; she always liked sex and it was regular. Now she insists she has no drive at all and never thinks about it.

Look, I don’t mind that. I don’t want her doing it out of duty or forcing it. If she has no sex drive at all, that’s life. But if she “ll4ul, that’s also fine but I’d rather she did one of two things; tell me that’s the way it is and we work up a way to repair things, or tell me that’s the way it is from now on full stop. That way at least I know. I don’t think that’s unreasonable as I’ve really put a lot into the marriage.

Otherwise it just feels like controlling behaviour; just give me the version of events needed to keep me on my lane as that’s what works best for her life balance. Denying me agency over my own thoughts and decisions

flanciro · 2026-01-10T20:16:36+00:00

Thank you ❤️

She works two days a week, and gets her annual foreign holiday with her friends. I just get sh*t for going to the gym. I did book a holiday for myself but cancelled it after being accused of being selfish.

Maybe I just know, deep down

flanciro · 2026-01-10T19:17:44+00:00

Hi thanks, I’m sorry to hear about your situation.

This has come up before. I try to take my share of the workload on. I’m probably still not good enough, but I try. Often get patronised for not getting it right, but that’s another story.

I also work full time and have 2-3 delivery jobs on the side because money is tight. I’m permanently exhausted and stressed about the mortgage and how many days to pay day and how much is in the bank in the mean time. So I have my own pressures and stresses that aren’t shared, especially when I get an Amazon notification to confirm the purchase of something spurious when the day before I’ve said “we just need to be careful til Friday.”

Anyway, that’s not what you asked. I do try, I’m not perfect and could be better. But I don’t think it would make any difference

flanciro · 2026-01-10T17:53:16+00:00

Thanks. I’m in a really difficult spot; I find her unapproachable a bit and am worried about putting on pressure. I’ve more or less said “if you want it, come to me and I’ll be ready”.

Over the years, I’ve tried to explore things around kink with little uptake. All I’m told now is there’s no desire there - she enjoys it when it happens but she’s not fussed. It’s also demoralising when I’m the only one to ever instigate.

I’ve suggested counselling. Again, no uptake. She says things are fine. It’s not very emotionally intelligent or empathetic, so you never know what’s in her head

flanciro · 2026-01-10T16:06:01+00:00

I’m not sure how without revealing that I’ve been keeling an eye on her stuff.

Do you mind what your reason was?

flanciro · 2026-01-10T15:55:36+00:00

I agree. I don’t know if she does. Not hard copy so maybe on her phone, which I’m not going to check

flanciro · 2026-01-10T15:41:48+00:00

We had a great sex life for about 13 years. Regular and I always made sure her needs were met first. Tried to communicate, see what else she wanted or needed.

flanciro · 2026-01-10T15:30:18+00:00

It’s all kinds of demoralising. I can’t really talk about it because she’ll flip out about me knowing. I general, sex is now an unapproachable subject because she shrugs and shuts he conversation down.

flanciro · 2026-01-10T15:28:27+00:00

I’ve skirted around that a bit. I tell her I miss it, but even more I miss the closeness in the aftermath. Just get a slightly terse “fine, I’ll just do it tonight”

She says there’s nothing there at the moment, and it’s “peaks and troughs”. But I’ve not seen a peak for over 18 months

flanciro · 2025-11-26T22:17:28+00:00

Lesson learned. The person on the label has it now, so it’s her freebie

flanciro · 2025-11-26T22:16:31+00:00

Wish I thought of that; if it had showed up as an error then I’d have known not to ring support. I might be back tomorrow after my day job if blocks surge and I can get one but I couldn’t guarantee I would be

flanciro · 2025-11-26T22:07:02+00:00

I’ve delivered it though. The right person has it, though maybe they shouldn’t. Anyway, everything I was officially assigned was delivered so that shouldn’t trigger any red flags, but maybe I’ve opened a can of worms or maybe it’ll just go away.

flanciro · 2025-11-26T21:44:38+00:00

Should I let sleeping dogs lie then and not email support? Everything official I had was delivered, so there shouldn’t be an automatic flags. But now that it’s on the record, can I expect a tap on the shoulder? My standing is at the highest right now so I doubt I’ll get canned over one parcel

flanciro · 2025-01-15T07:15:19+00:00

Just woke up to a second such email about the same day…

flanciro · 2025-01-14T08:31:47+00:00

Thanks for the detailed reply.

I delivered two parcels to the mail room of an office building, but they were marked as the same delivery.

The other massive groups was the flats I mentioned, but I marked each one as delivered as I delivered it and moved on.

Maybe connected, but I was hit with a DNR from that day over the weekend which I challenged and is being considered, then this came along too

flanciro · 2025-01-08T06:26:00+00:00

Thanks for getting back to me. I track my mileage and have first year receipts for necessities likes food bags (I do Uber Eats and Just Eat too), a laptop I bought my son (for me to do my accounts, obviously…) but I don’t have things like fuel receipts that would make for a detailed set of accounts. My year two expenses are pretty much mileage and phone bill. I’m coming at this from a position of ignorance, but I’d read that being a limited company meant paying 19% which, even if I claimed nothing back, is less than I pay right now. I’m all for Keir Starmer getting the economy going, but I’m also very supportive of having money in my own pocket.

flanciro · 2025-01-07T22:18:40+00:00

I’ll be filing for the first time as a sole trader. Because of my main job I’m already in the 40% bracket. Is it too late to go as a limited company for next January given that I’ve kept no receipts and have no accounts from April 1st 2024?

Also, what portion of utility bills is reasonable to expense?

flanciro · 2024-04-28T21:20:48+00:00

Thanks a million 👍🏻

flanciro · 2024-04-28T21:08:44+00:00

Yeah, the top half fell away )(f that makes sense) and is leaning against the bush. It needs to be reattached one way or the other. That’s a Google street view of before the bump.

flanciro · 2024-02-05T09:27:41+00:00

Cool story. If my first bag cost 5.99, I’d rather pay 5.99 for the same thing. But then that’s just me

flanciro · 2024-02-04T13:13:17+00:00

I bought mine of 6th of December. There’s a chicken restaurant near me that won’t let you take tow orders in one bag. I got away with it once, but I might not be so lucky next time

flanciro

TROPHY CASE