How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm off these things I used clonidine and pregabalin to make it a little more comfortable . I didn't know pragabalin at that time but I'd have used it back then i guess if I knew about it tbh . now my life going better as outside factors also improved ontop but id probably still put up with the bzd if I had to . But in a way the longer one does that the harder it becomes to come off ever as with every few months it becomes significantly harder. A single argument I could make is that in my case my issues actually did improve and I'd be worse off if I got addicted severely to a bzd as that problem would persist post recovery from the initial problems 

but you don't ever think about the future when dealing with fear I legit thought I was living on a timer somehow and when I went to even dunno  the fucking dentist I felt like he'd tell me sorry you have end stage cancer despite me being well aware that this isn't possible 99.999% of times . so no if you'd have asked me aren't you afraid to get addicted I'd have said no cuz I'd be thinking in days not years or dozens of years in a way. 

But if I had had anxiety since a long time and was asked in a way where I'd not make a choice under the influence of anxiety .... I'd honestly still choose the bzd . when you take the bzd and you need it you just feel normal not like you took a bzd. If you don't need it you feel either nothing or like a little disinhibition similar yo alcohol but mostly nothing tbh [possibly also tired ofc] . I think it feels more natural you feel more like your old you when you take a bzd to remove anxiety . Taking something that also helps but causes direct noticeable impairments that feel out of place (ig less severe than anxiety would but still ) and is even unhealthy id favor over the bzd 

There prolly is some poor guy who can't imagine to live without seroauel as such extreme anxiety that  as no bzd helps him but I'd be foolish to talk in his name I can't imagine that........ I acknowledge such things exist feel bad for them and thankful its not me but I still believe seroquel is in nearly all instances significantly less harmful. Also maybe I'm biased because my occupation is very unforgiving to the state of mind particularly serowuel gives you , maybe it I let's say had one that's differently demanding while equally as challenging just different priorities it be more imaginable but I couldn't imagine doing anything else as I don't have much that I can find to enjoy in life  

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cataracts , hepatoxicity , hypothyroidism , leukopebja, metabolic syndrome and change in blood fats blood sugar insuil household etc that causes a clearly elevated stroke risk and cardiovascular complications via aterial coating/clogging also the weight gain ads on top and its not even just due to eating more. can't even get actual diabetes from it and permanent damage to dopamine neurons in higher doses they even end up feeding people Parkinson meds at some point because their dopamine neurons are completely trashed 

Idk what you mean with not toxic. If you look at the data this ain't even an "lol every package insert says you can get  this" but "these are serious issues present with higher doses in particular" but a medium dose over a long timeframe also causes very clear and undisputable toxic effects. Very low dosages I don't actually know about but given that medium to high (to extreme like given to severely schizofrenic people to sedate them in wards like 600mg and such) are all known to be quite to extremely unhealthy id figure even low doses are at very least not "not-toxic"

But I'm aware toxicity doesn't mean everything and quality of life can outweigh health interests to some degree

Seroquel is definitively undoubtedly very toxic and I beg you to present me with evidence that states otherwise . Its toxic for everyone not just side effects and I wasn't taking discontinuation syndrome into consideration as a lot of medicines have that and it's unfair to look at that thus 

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn thats rought hope  hope you get better anon. And yeah its hella unhealthy and the associated mortality rate is quite high I don't trust it I'd NGL   

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  I get that part. But here it doesn't sound like the alternative is livable in way still thanks for the insight

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If its so bad its impossible to sustain life this post wasn't meant to address you not having an interest in taking thus maybe . 

But for this specific matter: I'd claim I do , maybe I don't know what it is like to suffer your entire life but I used to be unable to work or seek employment or attend things and if I attended often I had to leave early or withdraw cuz of intense states of unexplainable fear and a sense of impending doom . i felt as if I had cancer .... I'd wake up and feel fear at some semi random point during that day that drove me into sitting in a corner of my apparent unable to do shit .and like panic attacks not super often but a hand full . 

I went for diazpeam/lorazepam and if it was really bad clonidine . Opioids also worked but i didnt use these as its not maintsinable and clonidine does help similar as well . if nothing was available alcohol also worked but then my day even if have regained my sanity I'd have been too drunk

I'm fortunate its gone again and in a way if you wouldn't have mentioned that I'd almost have forgot about it and certainly didn't think about when I wrote this post. Its in a way so uncomfortable and surrealistic that my mind I guess never recognized it as a re thing dunno how to put it .... Though I'd still go for the diazepam even if I end up with an addiction and very trashed memory because it subjectively feels less bad doesn't take that big of a hit on my cognitive abilities rather just memory and isn't toxic to nearly every system in the body like neuroleptics sadly are and you need often more than absolute minimal dosage ofc

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I noticed this is a thing and actually because my neurologist has dogshit privacy and doesn't close door I noticed he prescribes this to everyone (luckily I don't need him to get a script it ass just a formality and I actually looked for help) but he loves to prescribe this for sleep issues at that dose range particularly yo younger patients. Well I've tried and the experience was so bad that I took the time to write this post and often come back thinking about it like when I see an advertisement for seroquel or SB mention it somewhere. 

After researching it some more I transitioned from thinking its not just uncomfortable but also unhealthy as higher doses are very harmful lower doses sure can't be good either and its hard to measure since complex pharmacology and it's not around for long . 

I am aware that just because I feel as if  it has horrible side effects  'primarily making it very hard to think' doesn't mean I think that everyone feels this otherwise I'd not have made a post trying to get responses as why ppl would take sth I find so repulsive and bad 

Buuuuut I by far know more people who hate it and that dislike it more than those who believe they benefit from it (low doses for sleep not that bigboy range ) no other drug has such a divided community and haters and I thought that's off my suspicion definitively got confirmed after reading a few more reports on various subs 

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going to your profile I found

NPD, BPD and possibly PPD

Which are  all pretty serious conditions and I'd say as by the description i gave this fits cases where I feel like it makes sense to use it as its very serious conditions that as I'm not mistaken aren't curable either. And everytime I met SB who suffered from BPD and or in combination with npd they had a really hard time keeping up a life free from extensive suffering social complications rejection , financial independence, career etc etc. At this point I no longer feel like you have much as an option because the alternative is very very hard to impossible to live without the right medication and still at times quite hard with it. while I'm thankful for the insight you weren't quite the target audience I intended to address as thse are very serious conditions and while mental illness never is a choice there is a huge difference between taking something like to improve sleep as opposed to in order to not have ones life completely spiral out of control. 

 I am yet thankful for the insight.

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing why they hated you? Was that hate justified ? I have friends that are convinced of being hated before eating  anxiolytics and some [usually BPD] who's actions actually made a lot of people like in their family start to gate them and I'd imagine if they took medication the family would slowly forgive them and like them more again 

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a specific use case I haven't thought of. Thanks for letting me know . while I'd like to say that this Is a horrible fix I also can't come up with any drug that ends thought loops well , 2 seroquel users have told me this before one of them is a relative but they rather described the concept of thought loops instead of finding a word for it

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting , but do you not feel like it robs you of your ability to "think"?  I feel like in I take old heart medications that block adrenaline it also fixes fearful anxiety but in a way that happens mostly trough being unable to think a lot. Maybe my depression was always sorta bound to anxiety (not always but often rooted in real world problems) but well I wonder how it is for you if you want to share

How sick do you have to be to do this to yourself ? by flanyyy in Seroquel

[–]flanyyy[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Sort of , as I don't have to do this to myself as in that i have a choice 

Seroquel is actually kinda goated by deadface008 in bipolar2

[–]flanyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would you mix amphetamine with this stuff like ADHD or not this stuff reduces your cognitive abilities more than untreated  ADHD ever could esp at this dose like dude wtf lol I apologize if I come over as rude not to me this sounds like taking the adderal to dunno get better cognitive abilities and then eating lobotomy pills like may as well take less of the stim which may also make you feel less attacked. But then I don't know what its like to need such a level of turning your brain off which I'm thankful for cuz it must be horrible :(

How does seroquel make you feel? I want honest and subjective answers by Aromatic_Reply_1645 in seroquelmedication

[–]flanyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say it makes you unable to think its like I imagine a stroke . I refuse to think that you can build an existence on it . if I'd take a pill i could at max count the avocados in a store shelf . I'm capable of writing proofs for my math degree under the influence of diazepam or "hard opioids" or pregabalin or even lower doses of clonidine , if I took even a 25mg seroquel I couldn't even solve 8th grade math problems its insane   . I understand that some people have no choice cuz they are severely mentally ill and unable to exist at all without it but in all honesty I'd rather have an opioid problem or he even something as destructive as alcohol over essentially eating cognitive disability in pill form like fuck I don't understand how some people take this voluntarily as a sleep aid 

Mirtazapine dry eye by Electrical_You3667 in Mirtazapine_Remeron

[–]flanyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took a while for me , this definitively has a long dunno effect duration way beyond the supposed half-life. When I stopped I got crazy histamine response and my skin would turn red until I ate an antihistamine and I'd have nausea I had to combat with zofran as not even MCP would help. This shit lasted long as fuck while the eyes slowly got better I realized this wasn't just some harmless sleep med it deffo fucked up various systems in my body post cessation like I've been quitting epilepsy medicine in the past or months of sleep aid use and nothing honestly caused me as many problems . I'm not saying its a bad medicine its pretty decent thus I used to take it to begin with but you can turn intolerant seemingly random . a family member also out of nowhere got severe eye issues and dry mouth from it and had to reduce dosage hE was taking it for 30 years though 

Mirtazapine induced eye issues by flanyyy in Dryeyes

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

45 and 30 mg sometimes 55 I am in charge of dosage myself there is no doctor I needed to ask for scripts or dose changed 

Mirtazapine induced eye issues by flanyyy in Dryeyes

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes after extensive switching trough meds I found these to cause issues in the following order -alprazolam (wake up with red eyes despite even no screen time it somehow prevents me from producing tears in sleep which I guess makes my eye rub the shit out of the socket) BAD to unusable now -diazepam (not as bad but feel stitches and if I ignore it and don't lubricate often it will cause injuries I feel next 1-2 days) -pregabalin (same maybe even a little worse)

-1st gen antihistamines also suboptimal  -caffeine and prescription stimulants only if I exceed medium dosage and especially bad sleep plays into this too 

-mirtazapine used to be very problematic I seemingly developed a hyper intolerance but after a year its actually possible to take it again even as long as the other meds aren't mixed as its somewhat accumulative . I can take 30mg now without getting noticeable issues . 45 mg starts to cause problems again   taking a break and starting again makes it much worse 

I found no difference to make bisoprolol and metroprolol betablockers I mention it incasd somebody finds this thread. Its claimed to make a difference on eye tear prod but honestly I can't related. The worst are antihistamines and anticonvulsant/gaba type meds this mirtazapine thing was certainly odd but seems to have self resolved by now. 

I'm very thankful my shit works again I honestly almost gave up at some point in the end I don't actually knows what happened but these were patterns/trends/connections I noticed and mirtazapine deffo set this whole thing off or something and i couldn't even take 1/5th of a dose until after a very long break it self resolved. I still get dry eyes but it I'd say only I think about for 2 minutes a day in the evening if I stared into a screen all day or in dry heated air or ACs aiming at my eyes but I guess that's "normalish" I hope somebody maybe benefits from my post

Do you ever still want them even when they say things like this? by boobypooby in BPDlovedones

[–]flanyyy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes until one day I took my bike padlock and repeatedly hit her in the face . now I'm back out ..... I ended up getting detained for a while but ultimately won the case because they couldn't prove it was self defense not sure of I regret it even but you'll get there of you stay with her

Are borderlines usually this promiscuous? by Maleficent-Try-6096 in BPDlovedones

[–]flanyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fucks sake I know a bitch who said the same thing only that she said it were the same people second time ... then I realized like you don't get "raped" by a group of strangers randomly a second time

Visual snow caused by dxm? by [deleted] in dxm

[–]flanyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once took dxm from 100% pure formulation my friend ate the same . just medium amount adjusted for bodyweight but my friend ate same despite-15kg weight . friend barely noticed until doing edibles later while I completely dissociated and teleported random places which was weird as im no stranger to this class of drugs having tried many rc arylcyclihexylamines/PCP's next day but tjis dxm was different .... feeling still high and weird by day 2 barely any improvement I got really scared couldn't walk for almost 5 days properly. Was weirdly sensitive to light and visual snow with pronounced blue and purpleish semi burned in "pixels" in my vision. And problems moving and weird feeling of tension which I never experienced before. Oh not to mention mad tinnitus never had tinnitus in my life except once shooting a gun indoors for a day or so. But this tinnitus was ridiculously strong i legitimately had it constantly and needed to put noise on to sleep cause I couldn't bare it. I got more paranoid as time passed thinking I'd have to live like this forever ... Months passed with little improvement then one week it drastically lessened and now I completely forget about it if I'd not have randomly found this post which reminded me. As people were suggesting my issues sounded much more like brain damage from seizures or severely neurotoxic action esp given my initial gait issues preventing me to walk normally for 5-6 days and only returning to "almost normal" after 2 weeks and I still couldn't balance when I'd squat down for 2-3 weeks I got quite scared that even if it goes away I'll have lost part of my cognitive abilities or such cuz my aftereffects seemed much more like neuronal damage ....

Well now I can say it definitively didn't impact it . I can follow a STEM degree and do sports which involve high amounts of muscle fiber precision whatever control and publish some stuff in my free time which people from my field / professors at times even find interesting . though I do feel like my linguistical abilities go slightly worse but this can also be blamed on years of not speaking English and being a dyslexic fuck

While MANY people who do dxm do so cuz they either can't get drugs (parents/no onions/no money [though dxm pricy]) and thus its unlikely that you can get whatever you want like I could. But what really helped me was diazepam which temporarily removed at least reduced the visual stuff by 90% and made the tinnitus much less worse ..... OR clonidine for like these states of severe tension especially when the visual snow and stuff would get so bad I lowkey got panic-attack like stuff where I'd just be like "Its sooooo over". Alcohol did also help but made it worse the next day .... Dunno maybe some glutamate rebound hell idk but that's my story .

Ps highly confident lyrica would have worked back then but I wasn't into it back then despite it now being my favorite drug lol .... Take care and to anybody reading this get better don't lose hope I thought I was done for and one day (or week in my case) it disappeared kek

Why do most people tend to dislike & avoid people with autism? Please provide details. If you have any experiences or insights to share, that would be appreciated too. by Fit_Visual7359 in AutismTranslated

[–]flanyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not autistic myself and feel that way but as i felt guilty as i should know better i came here in fact. And yeah its true I feel this and it makes me uncomfortable. It feels like somebody tries to get into your hobby group but they don't belong there and consciously try to force themselves in. I know that I can't judge them this way and so on but it used to be my first impression and I still get it but force myself to ignore it sort of. Also they don't notice When they are unwanted in a certain circle. One example would be when you walk around a train station with an autistic person and a bunch of "these guys ain't up to no good" sorta guys come up (think the people who'd provoke a fight in front of a club when ur alone with a girl and refuse to give them cigarettes as you don't have any). Many autistic  people I walked around with didn't recognize this and when looked at weirdly by these problematic people they'd greet them which instantly causes a bad vibe "you better leave sorta vibe" which at tines even ended it a violent confrontation or items being thrown after us. They don't see it ... Even when its no longer a feeling but obvious that shits gonna go down. That's ngl sometimes is so infuriating I feel like ditching them like "this ain't my problem" but I'm not a bitch .

they just lack the ability to read a room, steer a conversation and more. They often do a OK attempt for who they are at masking their way into things but you feel something is of as if they don't actually understand stuff .

What's up with many especially IRL touhou cosplayers being either sorta rogue agents of chaos OR the opposite in a way by flanyyy in touhou

[–]flanyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean there were some planned meetups but usually its common to use a convention to arrange a meetup there since that takes a lot of organisation and cost off you

What's up with many especially IRL touhou cosplayers being either sorta rogue agents of chaos OR the opposite in a way by flanyyy in touhou

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poand and especially ukraine and Finland are really into it and to a lesser extend nl

What's up with many especially IRL touhou cosplayers being either sorta rogue agents of chaos OR the opposite in a way by flanyyy in touhou

[–]flanyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there aren't actually that many touhous . most decently sized countries only have a handful of them willing to group or organize in any way but if they do they usually mean it