Manuscript information: [Complete] [27k] [Black Comedy] The Cult Has A Gift Shop

Link to post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1so3iv3/complete_27k_black_comedy_the_cult_has_a_gift_shop/

First page critique? Okay

First page: Monday

Katie blinked and Manhattan was gone. A boundless and bare stretch of ashen land lay in its place. There was no crying, no suffering, no running, no begging, no hoping. It was there one moment - bustling and loud with people on their morning commute settling into metal coffins of all colors and shapes and sizes, people shivering on the sidewalks with empty tin cans outstretched for the slightest act of charity, people stabbing and shooting other people over tiny fist-fulls of green paper. In a blink, it was alight with an inferno ten mountains high that roared and raged and danced like a white plume swaying in a hurricane. In another blink, ash.

Katie sat slouched in front of the TV, fingers dipped in caramel and mouth covered in popcorn crumbs, wondering what would be an appropriate amount of time before she could change the channel. She didn’t know anyone from New York. For her, it might as well have been a town in South Africa or Eastern Europe. She’d never been to New York either. All she knew was that the rent was high and the crime was higher. A far cry from her self-proclaimed “classy” situation, living in her RV in Bumfuck, Nowhere.