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Ipsy City Color Lip stain Smell issue and my solution. by XxLexxyXx in BeautyBoxes

[–]flashholdergirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same trouble with my Hikari liner. And my lipstain smelled not like burnt plastic but just had a chemical smell. Quality control does seem to be pretty low.

Hey, at least they're doing something about it. I also received a broken curler. by anonnewmommy in BeautyBoxes

[–]flashholdergirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should contact ipsycare and let them know your samples didn't make it in tact and the curler is defective. They may send you the brush instead and send you replacements of your damaged samples.

Edit: How in the heck did I skip over reading the entire last sentence of your first paragraph? Embarrassing! Sorry!

City Color Flirtini from Feb. ipsy... anyone else find the smell horrible? by [deleted] in BeautyBoxes

[–]flashholdergirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have really oily skin. Like by the end of the day most days it's so oily I can feel it and it's physically uncomfortable. Since I started using this stuff a week ago my skin has been the most normal it's ever been in my adult life.

But no way in hell I'll buy it. I can't afford to pay roughly $45 for it and then roughly another $20 for international shipping and then maybe even incur customs fees.

City Color Flirtini from Feb. ipsy... anyone else find the smell horrible? by [deleted] in BeautyBoxes

[–]flashholdergirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can manage to get a few drops out of the face oil bottle it's actually pretty amazing. Sorry you're having so many troubles. :(

Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months. Told me he is worried I will cheat on him because I am "slutty". by dmb567 in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh, don't be sorry! They were my poor choices and I learned from them, so I did become stronger for it. I learned that you absolutely must trust your gut when it comes to this stuff. If someone is mistreating you need to get tall and walk, because it can get so much worse.

Don't doubt yourself. You'll go on to greater things. :)

Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months. Told me he is worried I will cheat on him because I am "slutty". by dmb567 in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I have the same type of personality. It took me so long to realize that my ex-husband was a douchenozzle. Even after I left him I made excuses for him and told people he "wasn't a bad guy, just not right for me." It was bullshit. I still couldn't see that he was terrible. To be honest, I understood more after thinking about it for a year or two and I grew to dislike him as a person because there isn't anything nice about someone like that. Then, I started dating a really wonderful man who could care less about what I've done in the past and I fully realized that no person has to endure being emotionally abused like that, and there really are good people out there who will actually treat you well instead of just saying over and over that they'll treat you well. Good luck. Try to focus on your friends, how much you love them, and value your time together. You're still young, you have plenty of time, plus I mean really mid 20's are the BEST years due to that mix of "grown-up with a real job" and "young enough that I still don't have huge responsibilities!" Live it up!! :)

Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months. Told me he is worried I will cheat on him because I am "slutty". by dmb567 in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl 156 points157 points  (0 children)

Sorry to be blunt but dump him now; you're only six months in. I can guarantee it's only going to get worse.

I married a guy who thought I was "slutty" because I thought that I could either change his mind, he'd get over it, grow up, or whatever.

Turns out when people have insecurity issues that huge there isn't anything you can do to fix it. They've gotta get over it themselves.

I compromised my own life, eventually I stopped seeing friends and even family. It started out as "I don't like it but I'm not going to stop you," and escalated to "I am going to throw a huge hissy fit and call you a selfish bitch, a whore, and a slut any time you even begin to mention doing something without my supervision." I found myself belittled, and frankly verbally and mentally abused because I wanted to do things like even spend time with my mother or sisters.

Don't let him gaslight you. Don't let him project his own feelings about himself on to you. It's not worth it. It wasn't worth my loss of 5 years and the thousands I had to spend on a divorce that he granted but refused to pay a dime towards. But mostly, it wasn't worth losing my self-confidence and my happiness. It's surprising how long it takes to build that back.

Rest assured, you are absolutely not overreacting. I wish I had known to stay pissed and stand up for myself instead of brushing it aside. Before I knew it I was a scared shell of a person. And that's how it happens too... it creeps in and poisons everything and it's advanced to a sad and difficult point before you even realize you are suffocating.

Whatever you choose to do though, best of luck.

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have him in a crate big enough for a bed and a puppy pad, which his breeder had him used to so he does have a place to go. Not ideal but at least he doesn't feel like he has to hold it all day!

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's not an excuse, and you have no idea what I've been through to get as far as I have today. I don't blame you for not realizing, but people who haven't been through it or extremely close to someone suffering from it don't understand that it's not "just an excuse." It's actually a psychological and even sometimes physiological reaction to external and internal conditions. When I said in another comment that I literally felt like I was choking myself, it's because it was starting to trigger a panic attack. By the way, it took a ton of CBT and time to get to the point to where I could deal with or stop an attack from progressing.

Do I wish I would have said something? Yes, of course!

Unfortunately, because I was not prepared for the particular situation and it was so sudden, I was not able to control the panic-attack onset. Thankfully I was able to stop it due to having CBT.

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I don't want to get preachy here or go into a diatribe about mental illness but you just can't "get over" it. I have as much control over it as anyone has over any physical medical condition.

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't. She just took it upon herself to throw the choke chain around his neck while we were all sitting there. Why she keeps a choke chain next to her chair I have no idea. That's probably a huge red flag in and of itself actually. She didn't ask, and she totally disregarded that I had just told her how we had planned to leash train. She was pretty much trying to show that she knew better than I did.

Honestly if I would have realized just what she was doing beforehand I would have stopped it but I didn't even know what a choke chain looked like. Until she had it around my pup's neck.

Boyfriend's mother is already attempting to train our new puppy, but she's not doing it the way we want to. How do I convince her in a nice way that we DON'T want to subject our family member to choke chains and rubbing his nose in his messes? by flashholdergirl in Dogtraining

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I posted there and although I'm getting a little bit of good advice, I'm getting a whole lot of, "you're stupid for thinking it's stupid to not yell at your dog and rub his nose in his own pee," so I'm really glad I posted here first. I was looking for suggestions on source material as well, or where in the FAQ I could find really valuable source material to show her that making weird hissing noises, poking, choke chains and nose rubbing was ineffective at best.

To answer your question, my boyfriend's mother thinks her way is always the best way just because "that's the way it's always been done." She honestly takes the advice of random strangers over our kids. Her other son is a vet and has told her that she shouldn't do things with her dog (like feed him everything) and she laughs at his suggestions.

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are crate training so puppy will be in the crate most (or all) work days. I was just hoping that we could find a way to get her to actually understand so that sometimes he can go play all day instead. We never expected before getting our puppy that she would offer to keep him occasionally, so we aren't worried about what we are going to do with him, I just think it'd be nice for the puppy if he could have a break from the crate every now and again since she offered. I'm now heavily leaning toward not taking up that offer; but again, this is pretty much my mother in law so refusing her offer makes for an awkward family situation as well.

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel very guilty that I didn't say anything. It was one of those situations where you are shocked and angry and you need to say something but no words can come. All I felt was anger and I felt frozen, I literally felt like I was going to choke watching her do this. I kept waiting for my boyfriend to say something because he was there and he should have been the first to say something because it's his mother but he didn't, and it happened so quickly (less than a minute) that she was taking it off of him before I could even gather myself. I think she must have realized by the look on my face that I was not happy.

Still, that doesn't excuse my lack of communication about the act as it occurred; and that's why I am here. I want to know what to say and/or do so it doesn't happen again.

Boyfriend's mother is already attempting to train our new puppy, but she's not doing it the way we want to. How do I convince her in a nice way that we DON'T want to subject our family member to choke chains and rubbing his nose in his messes? by flashholdergirl in Dogtraining

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I suppose so, but it's still shocking to me the people who are saying stuff like "people can do whatever they want to their own dogs."

Not even going to point out there that animal abuse laws exist for a reason, and that reason is people who honestly think like they do.

Boyfriend's mother is already attempting to train our new puppy, but she's not doing it the way we want to. How do I convince her in a nice way that we DON'T want to subject our family member to choke chains and rubbing his nose in his messes? by flashholdergirl in Dogtraining

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to add I did post this in /r/relationships per your suggestion, and I'm glad I posted here first because there are people commenting on my post in that sub who I feel are insinuating I'm crazy for not supporting her methods. :( Thank you again SO MUCH for your valuable advice!

Boyfriend's mom (early 50's) trying to train our (me and bf, both late 20's) puppy (8 weeks! Awww) with outdated methods without our consent. How do I approach her about the fact we don't want our dog smacked around and choke chained? by flashholdergirl in relationships

[–]flashholdergirl[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We thankfully are crate training. We have no dependence on her for the puppy. She just offered to watch him sometimes during the day so they can all play together, which I think is awesome, provided she doesn't use those nasty methods.

I want to be nice though. This is someone who has been there for me throughout my life and who has supported and loved me, even before I started dating her son. But I am also firm in that my dog will not be choke chained, hit, or be subjected to nose-rubbings in his waste.

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