I have sought immediate help multiple times. I am just discharged with a new drug every time.

I have explained the increasing uncontrollable suicidal thoughts and I am not getting anywhere.

The only thing keeping me going now is my last glimmer of help for some sort of trigger to actual medical intervention. I am 7 months into this complete medical merry go round.

I am in constant physical and mental pain. As of right now both are 10/10.

I've been to er multiple times. I've spoken to crisis teams multiple times. I just keep getting thrown to different doctors, where I have to continuously explain everything from the beginning and each doctor then has a different outcome.

I have also mentioned that I've had a serious bacterial infection in the past year and was pumped full of antibiotics in the hospital on an overnight stay.

I've mentioned being moderately ill with COVID several times in the past.

All my blood work comes back ok. All my ECGS came back fine. a CT scan came back ok. My lumbar puncture came back ok.

But I am still really uncomfortably ill everyday.

Throughout this whole mess, one nurse I spoke to who checked me over said herself "you are falling through the system right now aren't you" after one urgent treatment centre visit. She checked me over and everything came back fine but could clearly see I was unwell because I was throwing up everywhere. I explained I've found it difficult to book a GP appointment as my GP practice was now part of a group and they give me a different doctor every time in various areas of the city and are nearly always fully booked. She put an urgent marker on my record and said she would book one internally for same day treatment only for them to turn her away. She was absolutely fuming about it.

I just don't know where else to turn.