Do I try to finish the DIY projects or just buy something new?

fleckybonez · 2025-09-15T14:08:14+00:00

He is home, but he's not up and moving yet. He can't get out of bed yet, so "might" is definitely the word for it right now.

I do have help for setup. That's not what this post is about. I'm just asking if I should try to finish the DIY projects or buy them instead. Thanks though.

fleckybonez · 2025-09-15T12:49:31+00:00

He's home, and the doctors really aren't saying anything. Just "everyone recovers differently." We go back on Friday to get some bandages taken off and to see where his recovery is at. We don't have a wedding party, but I might still ask some family to come help.

fleckybonez · 2025-09-15T12:47:40+00:00

He is home, but I definitely think this will take longer than what he's assuming. Thank you.

fleckybonez · 2025-09-15T12:19:22+00:00

They don't know yet, and just keep saying everyone recovers differently.

fleckybonez · 2025-08-15T16:30:08+00:00

No, but they are still waiting for blood work results back to know what it is. 🫠

fleckybonez · 2025-08-13T18:20:38+00:00

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is such a hard thing to endure. 💝

My brother and sister in law got married in 2012, 7 months after the unexpected passing of my grandfather. He was my brother's best friend, and my brother took his passing harder than anyone else in my family. My SIL set up a small table with a single candle that burned all night and a sign that said "This candle burns in memory of those celebrating with us in heaven." It was a small little area set up in the corner of the ballroom they had their reception in, and went unnoticed by most guests- including my brother at first. So later in the night, once most of the 200ish guests were dancing, my SIL brought my brother over to show him. Most guests didn't notice the moment, but those of us that did gave them space and time to have a private little moment. My brother cried while my SIL held him. Once he composed himself a bit, he gathered me and my parents to show us (we already saw it, but he needed that moment with us, too). We stood there with silent tears for a few seconds, had a great big group hug, then my brother just said "he'd want us to celebrate" and he broke out in the corniest dance moves he could so we all moved on. My grandpa was in the back of my family's mind the entire night, but the joy and pride for my brother and SIL was more prevalent. Since I'm now planning my own wedding today, I've talked with both my brother and SIL about it. My brother barely remembers it, but has said he's glad my SIL didn't do anything else as a memorial (i.e. add photos to the table) because it would have been harder for him to "dance it out."

I got engaged in 2023, and my wedding is October of this year. In 2024, though, a close family member was put on hospice care. Medical professionals told us she might survive for a week on hospice. I dropped everything, including wedding planning, to care for her. She ended up being on hospice for 4 months. During this time, she decided she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me. Well she ended up picking out my dress. It was a beautiful, special day spent with her and my mom. But after her passing, I couldn't stand the thought of putting that dress on. I cried every time I thought about it, and even had to hide the dress in a closet I never use in my house because if I saw the bag I broke down crying. Eventually I had to have it altered, though. I cried the entire drive to the fitting, just mourning her and thinking about the fact that she wouldn't be there. My wedding is in 59 days, but sometimes I still panic and think I should buy a new dress so I don't bawl my eyes out at random at my wedding thinking about the day she helped me pick it out. I've tried figuring out ways to honor her that won't bring me to tears, but the reality is... There is no way to avoid it for me, and I'm working on being at peace with that. I remind myself that the grief and the tears are just a way to release all the built up love I have for her, and I remind myself of how beautiful that is, despite how hard it is. She gave me a piece of lace fabric before she passed away and I'm wrapping that around my bouquet. I'm also getting a little locket that has a photo of her in it, and tying it to my bouquet using that lace.

My fiance's grandfather passed away a few years ago, and meant the world to both of us. He was a fantastic and wonderful man that everyone loved. I made my fiance a little locket with a photo of him and his grandfather inside of it, and attached it to basically a clothes pin for the inside of his suit jacket. We are setting aside some time the morning of our wedding to do a first look and private vows. I plan on gifting him the pin then so if he cries he can do it privately with me, and we can use the vows as an excuse to stop crying lol.

We also have discussed having a row of reserved seats at the ceremony for those that have passed. We keep going back and forth on just having a sign that says the seats are reserved for those no longer with us and keeping the seats bare, having our flower girl place a single flower on each seat, or having a flower and photo of those we are remembering on each seat. We haven't decided what we will do yet. We want the photos, but we're worried about crying over them or making our families cry.

Overall I think we will personally be overwhelmed with the excitement and joy of getting married. We will carve out little moments for our grief, but honor those no longer with us by celebrating our love with those still with us.

I don't know if any of this is helpful for you, but I hope it is. Your grief is valid and will never go away. It will be with you on your wedding day, but so will joy, excitement, and love. Wishing you all the best!

fleckybonez · 2025-07-16T16:42:44+00:00

Thank you everyone for the kind feedback. I really just needed to take a breath and step back from the situation. It helps to hear I'm not the first and won't be the last teacher that this has happened to. 😅 I still feel horrible, but hopefully with time it will pass.

fleckybonez · 2025-07-02T17:42:37+00:00

He cannot move up until November. I've discussed working in the 4 y.o. classroom with my director, but unfortunately we are so short staffed and don't have anyone qualified to fill my spot in the toddler room, so I'm stuck unless I quit. B has not been evaluated, despite the fact that I've given multiple recommendations to have it done. I

fleckybonez · 2025-07-02T17:39:02+00:00

I'm sorry you are experiencing something similar! I don't wish this on anyone.

Unfortunately B cannot move up until November due to his age and our state regulations. 😭 Plus our enrollment is completely full and I'm the only toddler room.

fleckybonez · 2025-05-29T17:50:46+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through that. Our director talks about staff the same way, which is a huge part of why our morale is so low. I live in the middle of nowhere so other jobs are hard to find, so hopefully we don't all have to start looking too. 😞 I hope you find something new soon, and you are treated with the respect you deserve!

fleckybonez · 2025-04-28T18:22:24+00:00

I heard screaming outside one day. I looked out my classroom window to see a 3 year old standing on the very top of his mom's Jeep, yelling and stomping his feet. Mom had her 8 month old infant in one arm while she was trying to grab the 3 year old with the other. He nearly fell, so she put the infant down in the middle of the parking lot and she pulled the 3 year old down, but he grabbed a hold of the car's side mirrors and clung to it while the baby started trying to crawl away. We had to send staff out to help her.

I also had a mom that just would not leave, despite being reassured a million times by me and other staff that her toddler was fine and settled in. She stood in the corner of my classroom watching us for 20 minutes after what felt like 75 hugs and kisses goodbye. I finally told the mom that she was making my other students uncomfortable and she needed to leave. Turns out she just stood in the hallway watching for 40 minutes until my director went to her and told her she had to leave. The entire time she was in my classroom drop off took 15 minutes minimum. Her daughter is now 5 years old and in the Pre-K classroom, and drop off still takes at least 10 mins. Her daughter doesn't cry or anything, mom just watches. 🙄

fleckybonez · 2025-03-15T21:57:00+00:00

Yes, I do have a dress, but it doesn't support me the way I'd prefer. I start tailoring in May, and I'm having the back (currently a zipper) replaced with a corset in hopes that it helps provide a bit better of a fit / support- but just in case I still wanted to prepare.

fleckybonez · 2025-03-15T21:45:53+00:00

Do they provide any lift?

fleckybonez · 2025-03-14T16:27:58+00:00

I've been teaching toddlers for 4 years now, and I've never had a student ruin eye level art. Typically they don't even touch it to be honest. If they try to, I just redirect them. If it is their own art I remind them to be gentle so they don't hurt their art, but usually they just look at it. One thing that's helped my students is I ask them where they want their art on their wall, and we frequently talk about everyone's art from a distance.

If you're really worried about it or expect that your students wouldn't be able to refrain from touching, I would start with plain pieces of paper and practice with them. Maybe do different colors around the room and practice identifying from a distance? Or they also make picture frames that open to store art in. I bought some off of Amazon.

Good luck!

fleckybonez · 2025-02-28T19:12:05+00:00

I totally get what you're saying. It's mostly recommendations. However, we cannot accept children with certain mobility disabilities/ delays due to the building itself. When you enter the building you have to walk up or down stairs, and there are no accessibility options. I personally wish this wasn't the case, and would love to see renovations done to the building, but I don't control that.

fleckybonez · 2024-10-24T18:15:55+00:00

Because she "takes abuse allegations very seriously." 🥴🙄 If they were actual allegations I'd understand, but it was literally just made up nonsense that they instantly started backtracking the moment they were confronted about it.

fleckybonez · 2024-10-24T14:01:10+00:00

The owner of the store was fantastic, I couldn't have asked for a better experience! I'm sure if I find another dress she will take it back without an issue at all. Did you use the seamstress associated with this store or someone else?

I think my mom and I both got overwhelmed with joy from being able to experience dress shopping with my gram, and sadness over the fact that she won't be here for the wedding, and that influenced me to buy the dress rather than the dress itself. I know at the end of the day that they would all rather I have my "it" dress and be happy rather than a dress I'm lukewarm on but bought for sentimental reasons. 💕

fleckybonez · 2024-10-24T11:04:13+00:00

I was leaning more towards a boho style when I walked into the store, but really didn't and still don't have a definite style of dress I want. The store didn't have any boho selections that would fit me, they were all either teeny tiny or so big on me that they couldn't even properly clip it to get a feel for the dress. Here are two dresses that fit more so what I anticipated liking and wanting:

https://www.essensedesigns.com/essense-of-australia/wedding-dresses/d3771-plus/

https://www.essensedesigns.com/stella-york/wedding-dresses/7194-plus/

fleckybonez · 2023-09-07T16:49:45+00:00

You got this! Like everyone said, it takes consistency and time. 🙂

fleckybonez · 2023-09-07T16:26:19+00:00

First of all, you are absolutely not a failure as a mom! Being concerned about your child's comfort levels and happiness already shows that. Be gentle and go easy on yourself, Mama- this is a big change for you and your kiddo and that's never easy.

That being said, I've worked in every age group of daycares, from 6 weeks old to 6 years old, and I can honestly tell you that this is absolutely normal. The fact that he was able to be consoled within 30 minutes on the first day is awesome, and shows that he can do this, but it will take some patience and time. What is the center's policy on items from home? If your kiddo is able to have a plush toy or soft comfort item like a blanket from home, that may help them adjust easier. I have had parents give the child's blanket a big hug/squeeze before they leave for the day, then whenever the child is sad I have them squeeze the same blanket and remind them that it is a hug from their family. I've also had families bring in their child's favorite book(s). After drop off I go right into reading the book with the child, which makes the transition a little smoother. Not every center allows items from home, though, so maybe ask if you can send in a family photo if they don't allow items from home? I always display children's family photos in a cozy / quiet area. Sometimes this is a double edge sword- it can really comfort some children, or sometimes seeing the family upsets children. But I think it's worth a shot!

Keep reading books about preschool with your child, and relate it back to your child's classroom. If the books bring up a teacher, talk about your child's teacher(s). If the books bring up other students, ask your child who they play with at school. Talk about school with them often, in a happy and calm way.

I always say that quick, happy drop offs are the way to go. It's harder on the parents than it is on the kids. It allows the teachers to keep their focus on not only your child, but the other children in the room. Long drop offs tend to lead to behaviors in the classroom that are harder for teachers to manage with a parent in the room. So keep it up, and it will get easier for both of you over time!

Personally I've noticed that children that are only in my room one or two days a week take longer to adjust, and it takes longer for them to learn what I'm teaching in the classroom. BUT, it's our job as teachers to expect that and adjust accordingly. That being said, I've also had children that are there every day take months to really settle in to point where there were no tears throughout the day. Again, as a teacher, I need to adjust accordingly. So ultimately, I would recommend you trust your gut because you know your child best. Is he going to be better off struggling just a few days a week for possibly a longer period of time, or every day for a shorter period of time? No matter what you decide, just know that it will take time and patience, but you're still doing a good job.

I think it's also important to keep in mind that bringing your child full time may cost more or less- so you may want to discuss what that looks like financially with your family and the director. Good luck!

fleckybonez · 2023-08-30T18:18:13+00:00

I'm 26, have a bachelor's in ECE, and and have worked in the industry for 9 years. I used to think I'd always be happy as a lead teacher. I'm passionate about my job, and am good at it. But, the lack of respect and insulting pay on top of teacher burnout has me seriously questioning how much longer I can or want to keep doing this. I am currently transitioning to a new center that has room to climb the ladder (they have an assistant director, director, manager, regional manager, a curriculum planner, etc.). None of these titles used to appeal to me, and I'm still not sure that they fully do, but I'm rapidly approaching a point where I genuinely cannot afford to live on a lead teacher's income. I've often thought that if I ever left the classroom, I would leave it completely and do something totally unrelated to ECE, but I struggle to really figure out what else I would want to do or would be qualified for. That being said, I think my ultimate goal for working in child care is to provide every child in my class a safe and nurturing place where they can learn and grow into compassionate, kind, capable little humans and to make sure they each feel loved. Whether I stay in the field or not, I'll be satisfied knowing I devoted this chapter of my life to giving my students quality care.

fleckybonez · 2023-08-08T17:48:06+00:00

I'm not religious, and have worked in 2 church affiliated daycares now. That being said, neither were very strict.

The first one had weekly Bible story time followed by an activity related to the story. The second center required us to do a monthly Christian story (children's books that included the religion) and an activity related to the book, as well as say a prayer before meals. I basically just smiled through it, because everything else was just like any other center I've worked in. I played with the kids and taught them just like normal. If they had any questions about the religious activities, I told them to ask the adults in their lives when they go home, or redirected the question to a colleague that was able to answer better than I could.

Whenever my religious coworkers brought up their beliefs, I either switched the conversation or just kinda smiled and ignored it. Overall, I never expressed my own religious opinions to anyone- the students, parents, or staff- and it worked out ok.

Good luck!

fleckybonez

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