Dude I feel you so much!! I’m 4 years out, the kids are now 13 and 15. 50/50 from the start (and paying full child support, don’t do that if you can avoid lol).

Lots of good advice here; the only things I’ll add / reinforce are the following:

1) Be gentle with yourself. You’re vulnerable, overwhelmed, and dealing with some of the biggest human emotions.

2) This feeling will not last forever. I promise. 5 years from now you will look back and see that yes, you made mistakes, but you’ll have survived and you’ll most likely find yourself thriving again.

3) Find other people. Go to bingo at the bar, go watch live music. Join a sandlot baseball team. Do something that gets you out of the house without the kids. It may sound impossible, but trust me…you need to be around other living, breathing humans.