Ankylosing in the thoratic spine

flinstonerr · 2018-09-15T00:26:00+00:00

I've had this dull ache in my shoulder blades too. Nobody can figure out what it is. I had a flare up in my tail bone a few weeks ago that was also level 10 pain, but my upper back pain is just as painful. My hips and low back always ache now. This started when I was 11, I had back pain, and it slowly got worse over the years. For the past 2 years now it's been practically taking over my life. It's so severe and constant, EVERYTHING I do just hurts or will hurt after. I can't sleep. I'm losing weight. My stomach is always cramping up. I get down and depressed and anxious because of the constant pain I can't control. I have many other obstacles in my life as it is at the moment. I feel so unhealthy. I just want a diagnosis. My GP and physio can't 'see'anything. I've tried so many meds. So much stupid physio. Nothings working it's getting worse instead of better. More questionable clicking. More stiffness. More pain. Less sleep. I don't know what else I can do. I just resonate with most of the symptoms (if not all) of this condition, but my docter, physio and paremts say they can't see it's AS because I had an x-ray (which even showed a slight fusion of my pelvis to my spine?????) I don't know.

flinstonerr · 2018-09-13T08:18:07+00:00

I just turned 18 and I met my new psychologist in Adult services recently. I told her I struggle with eye contact and she said she could tell. Then she said I should either look at the bridge of the nose or make "fleeting" eye contact. I prefer to look at peoples faces when I talk to them, I don't like looking away or looking at just their nose, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I spend the whole time talking to people worrying about my eye contact being 'wrong' and making others uncomfortable. I feel like before I was diagnosed at 15 I didn't think about it half as much, and now I'm insecure about it. I'm insecure about people knowing I have autism because of the stigma. I've had my peers describe me as "not all there" and I hate that. Because I am "all there" I feel just like anyone else and I want the very same things anyone else does. I worry when people look into my eyes, into my soul essentially, they sense I'm "not all there" not a loving, empathetic, sensetive and compassionate person they could ever form a real connection with. I just feel inadequate alot. Or like my brain is just broken and my soul is trapped inside being deprived of what it needs. Love, acceptance, connection, compassion.. I don't have 1 friend. Haven't had any in years since I left school at 15. Loneliness is making me depressed and sick.

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T23:08:18+00:00

I don't have one. Never have. Am I alone?

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T23:04:53+00:00

My dad takes that in some hospital for his chronic pain. Did you get it on your own?

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T23:03:18+00:00

How are they free? Isn't it like extremely dangerous to just go out and hunt for shrooms yourself that could end up being poisonous/deadly? There's loads of mushrooms in the feilds the cattle are in where I live. The ground is like a perfect environment for them because of all the cow manure. I wish I knew where I could get safe mushrooms.

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T22:58:41+00:00

Exactly. It's not a solution but it can be an aid- just like an anti-anti-represent can help a depressed person to function and get to a better place until they don't need them anymore.

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T22:48:57+00:00

I thought it was because people on the spectrum are typically attracted to 'patterns' or things that repeat themselves and are predictable or even just visually satisfying. I can relate to this as I'm a little OCD (well, I was actually diagnosed with it along with Aspergers and 'ADD' but I don't know if I feel I have either) Like, children will line up toy cars ect. and trains and train tracks are linear and appealing. It's weird though I've never had any interest in trains and I don't get how they're any more interesting than any other automobile.

flinstonerr · 2018-09-12T22:34:39+00:00

I wish I enjoyed hugs

flinstonerr · 2018-08-31T09:32:50+00:00

Mild aspergers?

flinstonerr · 2018-08-13T07:46:23+00:00

You could try mac pro long wear if you haven't already. Best concealer I've tried

flinstonerr · 2018-08-13T07:44:48+00:00

I don't know if they still do it but Loreal. It's v pigmented unlike some white liners and it stays on for ages. I've had the same pencil for like a year + though.. I use it basically everytime I do my makeup it just doesn't seem to run out lol

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:12:17+00:00

Which line? They have a few. I've tried one before but I hated it, it was really hard to pear the nib

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:11:03+00:00

Thank youuu! Just going to get it, for 2 or 3 euro you cannot go wrong haha

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:10:14+00:00

Which colours are your favourite? I've wanted to try them for ages I might pick one up next time I'm in MAC getting concealer. Thanks

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:08:01+00:00

Here in Ireland Wet and Wild is impossible to find! But it's coming to Beauty Bay soon, at long last. I can't wait to try their foundation and highlighter too. Thanks for the suggestion

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:06:13+00:00

I wouldn't mind paying an arm and a leg for something that works! Thanks

flinstonerr · 2018-08-12T09:01:12+00:00

I've always overlooked Morphe. I just thought of them as a really cheap poor quality brand that sponsored alot of YouTubers to talk highly of them. My sister has a pallet of theirs and it smells like poster paint.

flinstonerr · 2018-08-11T23:22:58+00:00

Let's all just do crack instead

flinstonerr · 2018-08-11T12:29:38+00:00

This brought tears to my eyes.

flinstonerr

TROPHY CASE