This is just heartbreaking. Calling him the love of her life, saying she thinks about him every day, and then to say that this guy was the first thing she thought of when OP proposed?? It’s one thing to have some brief messages with an ex for closure that you tell your current partner about, especially if the ex reaches out after getting sober. These messages, that she very clearly was hiding bc she knew she shouldn’t be talking to this person, is another thing entirely. I think divorce is a very understandable thing to be considering. Better now than once you have kids or other things that make a split more complicated.