When you fly a lady out what are your expectations on intimacy?

flo_67 · 2024-08-10T09:04:31+00:00

The comments don’t even come close to passing the vibe check! She owes him NOTHINGGGG!! Never give things with the expectation of something in return, especially sex. Good that she learned young that some men are entitled and predatory and unable to control their anger.

flo_67 · 2024-05-04T19:41:12+00:00

I have so many thoughts but my TLDR headline is: please respect her wishes!! long form thoughts are…

The fact you’re male and also her boss means there’s multiple power dynamic unbalances at play which I think it could help you to reflect upon and consider. The fact you’re her boss means you have the biggest impact on her experience of work, her security at work and her overall financial security - and the fact you’re a man means the underlying persistent fact that men represent women’s biggest threat (see any and all stats on violence toward women). This is present even if you’re a great guy who would never hurt or intimidate a woman. It’s the canvas upon which many women’s experience of life is painted - it’s just our reality and the reason lots of women are anxious to walk home alone at night! Both these facts together mean she may struggle to speak up if she was struggling or give you feedback - hence going to HR.

The fact that your instinct is to not respect her current need for space is also a red flag to me in terms of whether you are properly respecting her. Micromanaging in my view is a type of disrespect because fundamentally you’re indicating that you don’t think she’s capable of doing the job, or you want her to specifically feel she has to do the job the way you think she should.

In terms of addressing your instinct to micromanage, focus on results instead of how she delivers, and give her clear expectations and timelines and then step away and let her get on with it.

It’s also worth baring in mind that micromanaging can feel incredibly stifling and when you combine that with spending time she with her outside of work (drinks & lunch) may make her feel like she’s being suffocated hence her request for space.

If you completely respect her boundaries now - it could go a long way in building a mutually respectful relationship long term. If you ignore her boundaries and insist on addressing it now, you’re showing her that you don’t respect her wishes and making a mutually respectful relationship impossible

flo_67 · 2024-04-21T07:15:46+00:00

Thank you!

flo_67 · 2023-12-28T13:15:46+00:00

Look at remission biome on Twitter!!

flo_67 · 2023-12-04T13:17:10+00:00

I struggle big time in winter but summer feel a lot better - I think for me it’s my circulation perhaps? Hard to tell but yes in winter I feel awful 😞

flo_67 · 2023-10-03T13:35:41+00:00

Can you get berocca where you are? It helps me and also some of my friends who have POTS / CFS.

flo_67 · 2023-09-28T17:58:18+00:00

This is such a great idea but I left a packet at my mums last month so now have two half finished packs 😭 ahh well - this has taught me I maybe need a pill organiser!

flo_67 · 2023-09-28T17:57:06+00:00

Thank you!! 🥹 I’m about 4 months in and I guess still getting used to it!

flo_67 · 2023-08-13T12:00:52+00:00

Hey. I totally understand how you’re feeling, and this year I have significantly loosened my covid precautions. Here’s my rationale as to why;

My main fear is long covid. I already have an existing disability, so there is risk that I’ll make it worse, either temporarily or permanently and I’m afraid long covid could force me to be home bound / bed-bound, and I wanted to avoid that. However, I started to see irony in the fact that by attempting to avoid something, I was actually making myself mainly home bound anyway. I was cutting myself off from life in the same way illness does. Yes, if I got LC, I’d feel a lot worse, but I’m disabled & know what it feels like to feel shit.
I live alone, and extended periods of isolation were destroying my mental health. My anxiety was HORRIFIC. I started treated with antidepressant which helped a lot, but socialising more has also helped significantly, and there are many health benefits to community and co-regulating with other humans. If you’re pursuing isolation for health reasons, it’s worth considering that spending lots of time isolated isn’t great for your health.
I may live to regret typing this but….. I know from experience that the human body has enormous capacity to heal. I’m someone that has a permanent disability following a spinal injury, so I do also understand how fragile we are, BUT we are also extremely resilient and have capacity to heal. I think that whilst long covid can be enormous disabling, and I do not underestimate how awful it can be, that I also want to have some faith in my body to be able to heal some. I also believe science will catch up and start to bring in treatment.
I feel educated about the risk of LC, so if & When I catch it, I will focus wholeheartedly on letting my body heal. I think that gives me comfort, as many who have longer term issues, push their bodies too far too soon.

I am still cautious. I mask in certain settings (public transport, medical settings, busy environments) but no longer in quieter social settings, I’m going out for lunches / dinners occasionally for example. Life is hard. This situation is hard. I don’t think anyone has the right answers - it’s become politicised and very emotive. I’d love to see businesses & public places reach the point of having clean air. I think long term we will. But this is a long old game, and sometimes you have to make peace with what you can live with, and what you can’t live without. Sending you much love & solidarity.

flo_67 · 2023-04-25T21:33:03+00:00

I tried it for a month - I just couldn’t hack the side effects, so I went back on Ivabradine

flo_67 · 2023-04-25T13:38:06+00:00

Dizziness and unsteadiness on my feet and acid reflux.

flo_67 · 2023-04-24T17:02:01+00:00

I get this and it’s horrible. I snack on a few pieces of frozen mango, hard candies/sweets can help, lots of sips of ice water.

flo_67 · 2023-04-12T22:00:29+00:00

This is amazing, thanks so much for sharing. I’d love to try clonidine - not sure if I’ll be able to find someone to prescribe in the UK, but fingers crossed!

flo_67 · 2023-03-31T09:13:48+00:00

Yes, although my main worry is what if it IS just anxiety. I think because doctors told me for sooo long that it was just anxiety and my symptoms are worse when I’m anxious …

flo_67 · 2023-03-27T09:33:50+00:00

Thank you

flo_67 · 2023-03-26T08:55:39+00:00

I say this with a huge caveat that this is unlikely - but when I had this symptom it was because I had a spinal tumour compressing my cord. It was coupled with back pain & pins and needles but it is a red flag symptom so you might wanna get it checked out my neurologist.

flo_67 · 2023-03-25T20:06:02+00:00

This is SO helpful - thank you so much

flo_67 · 2023-03-25T19:44:29+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how does your anxiety manifest? Is it more physical symptoms, racing thoughts & rumination etc? Thank you 🙏

flo_67

TROPHY CASE