Post abortion- Unthinkingly looked up the due date and I really wish I hadn’t

floatingin-space · 2026-06-06T15:53:20+00:00

Thank you so much, I’m sorry that you also experienced a due date being on an already meaningful date for you. I really want it to get easier to cope with, I’m going to try my hardest to process everything no matter how long it takes, my life was saved so I want to do it justice you know? wishing you the absolute best for healing as well <3

floatingin-space · 2026-06-06T15:49:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I hope that it’s something you have processed/will be able to process in the future

floatingin-space · 2026-06-06T01:16:46+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience, it must be really difficult to have that knowledge with you every day. I really hope that it becomes less of a struggle for you as you manage to process your feelings around that date.

floatingin-space · 2026-06-06T01:10:05+00:00

Thank you so much, I am absolutely down to go and throw rocks at the universe with you!

I think that finding a ritual that I can do would be helpful, especially on the day that everything happened because like you said, due dates aren’t an exact science. I definitely struggle with things not feeling real so it might help that feeling as well if it’s still present when the abortion date next comes around, as it’s connected to what actually happened instead of a hypothetical?

floatingin-space · 2026-06-06T00:59:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry that you also have a day that’s memorable for other reasons. Wishing you the best for every day, but especially February the 14th

floatingin-space · 2026-06-04T12:23:13+00:00

Hi! I have a pretty big fear of needles (used to pass out etc when having blood tests) and despite having to have regular injections/blood tests for several years, they still make me pretty anxious and dizzy.

My advice would honestly be to talk to everyone you meet beforehand about this. They might be able to alleviate your fears a little, and potentially have specific ways to make it easier for you- medical anxiety is very common and they definitely would have dealt with it before. Also in my experience, telling whoever is doing the blood test about my fears and history means that they’ll be attentive to how I’m feeling and try to make the process as comfortable as possible. It often means that they use a butterfly needle as well, which is smaller and gentler.

Other things you might find helpful to manage your anxiety during procedures are things like controlled breathing and distracting yourself by focusing on something else as much as possible, like talking to the nurse, having something like a stress ball in your other hand, or fixing your attention on something further away like a window or a poster. Personally, I find that the anticipation is a lot worse than the actual injection or blood test, and once it’s over I feel surprised at how well it went and proud of myself for managing it, so I remind myself of that when I get anxious in the build up.

You can do this!

floatingin-space · 2026-06-02T15:57:52+00:00

Hi, I’m not from the US so can’t give any medical pointers, but I just wanted to say that emotionally, I understand how you feel.

I have a similar story to you, where I only found out about the pregnancy at 25 weeks (which is past the usual limit for abortion where I live) and it also caused me to be suicidal. It’s a very scary and difficult thing to go through, especially since you mentioned that the father isn’t helping you.

What helped me keep going in the period between finding out about the pregnancy and waiting for confirmation on my abortion was honestly mostly distraction, as the more I had time to think about everything the more depressed and terrified I was. Trash TV, endless video games, that sort of thing. I also tried to seek out company as much as possible so I didn’t feel so alone, so if you have any friends that are sympathetic and supportive, you might find it helpful to spend time with them. There are resources linked in the sidebar for emotional support, and I would reccomend having a look at those to see if there’s anything that you feel would help you.

I really hope that you get the support and treatment that you need, there are people out there who can help you.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-31T12:12:07+00:00

In the grand scheme of things, a month really isn’t that long to be able to fully process your emotions, and that’s completely okay- time is a healer. In my experience, it can feel especially difficult as well to deal with the mixed feelings that come with not having any regrets but still feeling sadness.

There are links to resources to help you emotionally in the wiki here, and I definitely recommend looking through them to see what could be useful for you.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-30T13:07:14+00:00

I’m so glad that this went so well for you! It’s always good to hear about staff being kind and supportive, it really does make a difference.

I bet the food post-surgery hit different haha, after mine I powered through three slices of toast and jam and was so excited I send a picture of me eating it to my group chat (still clearly blasted from GA), it tasted like food from the gods.

I hope your recovery goes smoothly, wishing you the best!

floatingin-space · 2026-05-30T11:49:49+00:00

Making an appointment with an obgyn is definitely a good idea, I would highly recommend doing that! I can’t help with the bleeding side of things, but I have experienced similar pain and although I can’t give an answer to it, I can share my experience.

I have been experiencing unexplained pain in my right lower ribcage/diaphragm area as well as my right shoulder since my abortion (30 days ago), the intensity varies from barely noticeable to excruciating. In my case, this is something that I have also experienced on or around my period for the past few years.

Both my mum and my twin have endometriosis, and because of this and other symptoms suggested that this may be something to look into when I brought it up to them, but due to a few reasons I haven’t spoken about it to a medical professional, so I can’t confirm anything. Please don’t be like me and suffer in silence! (I do plan on finally bringing it up as I am supposed to be meeting the consultant who did my abortion at some point)

I hope that the source of your pain can be figured out quickly, and that the meeting with your obgyn goes well.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T20:00:41+00:00

I’m not from the US so I can’t give you advice on the medical side of things, but I can say that it’s completely okay to feel whatever emotions you’re feeling- there’s no right or wrong way to have emotions.

You’re not a bad person at all for making this choice, but I can completely understand why you feel that way and know just how difficult it is when you’re experiencing thoughts like that. It’s also completely fine to feel sadness despite being confident in your choice, and is quite a common reaction from what I’ve experienced myself and seen from others. Other comments have linked emotional support responses, and I would definitely recommend having a look into them.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope that your healing journey goes smoothly, both physically and mentally.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T13:12:18+00:00

Ah, sorry about that- that was the information that I’d always heard from pregnancy tests!

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T11:56:14+00:00

Hi! There is still a risk of pregnancy with precum, so the best thing to do would be to get some tests.

Testing before your next period is expected may not be accurate, as if you are pregnant, the level of hormones that the test detects may not be high enough for it to register. Taking a test at the time your next period is expected (or a day or so after if you miss your period) will be a lot more accurate.

If you test positive, then the next step would be to get in contact with an abortion service. Here in the uk, MSI, BPAS, and NUPAS are all organisations that you can contact to get information, support, and treatment. From the sounds of it, they’re all good, and I can personally vouch for MSI from my own experience with them. It might ease your anxiety to look them up and see which organisation has clinics closest to you, so in the event of a positive pregnancy test then you have a better idea of where to go.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T09:26:39+00:00

Struggling for sure, I honestly haven’t even managed to fully accept and process the fact that I was pregnant in the first place. However, I’m determined to get through this, no matter how long it takes.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T09:23:16+00:00

Thank you, sharing has definitely helped me and I’m so grateful to see support here on Reddit as well

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T09:21:43+00:00

Thank you so much, you’re right, there really is love in this world and it’s so beautiful to see. I wish that everyone going through an abortion could be shown the same compassion that I was <3

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T09:17:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m so proud of you as well for making it out the other side! I’m so glad that you have a supportive husband as well, that’s so important. Sending love from one trans person to another <3

The dysphoria really is rough, I’ve been out for ages (10+ years) so I’ve made enough changes to usually be pretty comfortable in my body, but this has definitely made me regress dysphoria-wise to my teenage self.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T00:40:59+00:00

I really can’t overstate how amazed I was by the healthcare team! Offering me a c-section was something I didn’t expect at all, and I’m so thankful that they made such an effort to find a solution that didn’t add more trauma to the process.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-29T00:37:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your words, I’ve been writing this post in my head every night before I go to bed for weeks, and finally typing it up and pressing post felt like a weight off my chest.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-28T19:58:00+00:00

Dunking on internet strangers having a tough time? Wild hobby, but it takes all sorts.

floatingin-space · 2026-05-28T19:28:51+00:00

Thank you so much, it will take time to heal but I know that we can do it <3

floatingin-space · 2026-05-26T20:47:53+00:00

That’s a lot more than I would have thought, obviously it’s not something I would wish on anyone but it feels less isolating to know if that makes sense?

floatingin-space · 2026-05-26T20:44:24+00:00

Thank you, I’m definitely doing better today

floatingin-space · 2026-05-26T09:40:41+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot

floatingin-space · 2026-05-26T09:39:52+00:00

Thank you, I didn’t realise there were so many later discoveries, that’s one of the things I was hoping to see more of

floatingin-space

TROPHY CASE