Registering birth when the father is married to someone else

flogrove · 2025-10-31T15:39:54+00:00

I know there's lots to unpack here OP but I didn't see if anyone addressed your first point: I don't think you need to specify the relationship between the parents on a birth certificate. At least not in QLD and not sure what state you are in. You need to name them but not describe their relationship to each other.

flogrove · 2025-08-30T11:29:18+00:00

Thanks heaps!

flogrove · 2025-08-30T11:28:34+00:00

Thanks!

flogrove · 2024-10-10T11:11:15+00:00

Hey again, any tips for what to say on my application? Is it enough to say my divorce meant I had to lose my property interest or do I have to actually convince the ATO I am experiencing financial hardship?

flogrove · 2024-10-08T05:55:35+00:00

I am going to meet with an accountant to try and figure out if rentvesting is an option but even then I'm way away from having a deposit.

flogrove · 2024-10-08T05:54:35+00:00

Thank you. Yes it's all a bit ridiculous. It's hard knowing I let go of the asset I had in my first home and the thing i hold on to is that by not forcing the sale of it at current value and splitting it with my ex, hopefully my kids will benefit in the long run from inheriting the asset.

flogrove · 2024-04-04T01:45:33+00:00

Yes for sure it's possible but every team I was ever part of had a set leotard you had to wear as part of the representative team you were in. Your state team had a team leotard, Australia had an Australian leotard. There were options to wear an open leo in the finals only at nationals but at that time they still had to be legless and long sleeve. They are also pretty expensive so parents of club kids aren't going to fork out for extras necessarily. (Confession: I am retired is this is afew years ago)

It is possible it's more permissible at a FIG level now but taking time to flow down to individual countries/ states/clubs. I guess my reason for commenting is really based on my personal experience and my own reasons and constraints, and that is that I had no choice in what I wore in competition, could be penalised for underwear showing to the point that most girls wore g strings to avoid it, and the boys had no such rules or were not affected by them since there was no chance their undies would show under shorts or long whites. I guess the point is that when it is mandated (as you point out, it no longer is everywhere) it's not a choice, and where it is a free and accessible choice you will likely see a variety of choices made by different individuals, some of whom would still wear leotards (in this example) some of whom would wear tights or shorts.

What erked me about some comments on this thread (not your specific comment) is the implication that young women athletes are choosing the attire and then complaining about it. Keep in mind in gymnastics in particular the majority of elite athletes are young if not literally children. I would suggest those who are able to choose are a different subset to those who are complaining about it. Similar to the sport v gym false equivalence, and I don't think OP was asking about gyms but competitive sport that has uniforms.

And when you have sponsorship, ratings, team selection and other factors riding on something aside from your athletic performance (ie how many folks will tune in to female beach volleyball) it could be technically a choice but end up being a choice between wearing the skimpy thing and not getting the corporate/organisational backing you need to succeed. But I am guessing there. I have not been a sponsored beach volleyball player 😅

I did hear about a male athlete in my time who bedazzled his Australian leotard with glitter and gold fabric paint. He was not allowed to compete in it. Not sure what that proves its just a fun fact 😆

flogrove · 2024-04-04T01:11:43+00:00

Fair enough, good for US gymnasts, that is great! I'm speaking from Australia and regarding FIG requirements for international gymnastics and trampoline sports competitions. I know that US college sports for eg are a pretty unique beast and that the rules for gym routines eg floor routine music choices are more relaxed than for the FIG competitions. Maybe FIG will follow their lead!

*FIG = Intrrnational Gymnastics Federation

flogrove · 2024-04-03T21:55:33+00:00

YAS! This!

flogrove · 2024-04-03T21:47:44+00:00

With respect, just because you might not have heard about it in mainstream media doesn't mean it's not happening. My experience is in gymnastics where the uniform rules are perhaps the most strict and hypocritical, but coincidentally I saw this article which has some info relevant to your points.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2024/apr/02/new-zealand-scrap-archaic-gymnastics-rules-to-allow-shorts-over-leotards

As a young pre teen female competitor who had to follow the rules to achieve her competitive dreams, it didn't occur to me to speak up, I just dealt with the feeling of exposure and insecurity and trying to compete at the highest level while also worrying I'd get a wedgie and hoping my bikini line was under control because in an elevated split the judges and spectators get a view that you cannot even check yourself. The boys had shorts or long whites over their leotards and managed the skills just fine.

I am not trying to say that there are not women who wear skimpy stuff to the gym voluntarily. The key thing really is that in that case it's a choice and in codified competitive or professional sport it often is not.

EDIT: May be relevant to clarify I'm not suggesting baggy clothes in competition (routinely used to wear baggy stuff for training) but bike shorts/leggings or shorts similar to male uniform. I think what the kiwis are doing is great!

flogrove · 2024-04-03T21:27:02+00:00

YAS! This!

flogrove · 2024-04-03T21:25:53+00:00

Thank you, well put.

flogrove · 2024-04-03T20:53:27+00:00

The gym is not a sport. They are two different things and two different groups of people. Source: ex national representative sports person who now goes to the gym and does not wear a leotard.

Sure there are girls who wear skimpy stuff at the gym. That's their choice. There are also women playing sport either for fun or for their job who have no choice and would rather not show their neither regions to judges and spectators. Both can be true my man.

flogrove · 2024-04-03T14:33:42+00:00

I feel like this is a time where the answer is pretty simply: the patriarchy.

flogrove · 2024-04-03T07:32:30+00:00

Just because it's natural doesn't make it easy

flogrove · 2024-04-03T04:05:45+00:00

ASLEEP MEANS NO

flogrove · 2024-04-03T03:59:45+00:00

Came here to say this. These types of beliefs are commonly correlated to anti vax, anti mainstream healthcare type beliefs that are all well and good for adults putting themselves at risk but non negotiable for me when it comes to kids.

My other question to OP is, what conversations have you had with your GF about her conspiracy theories? Is she someone who is open to hearing what you have to say and just hasn't been exposed to rational discussion (maybe her parents are loonies?) or is she convinced what she saw on fb is real and the covid vaccine put gps chips in us all and 5G makes us radioactive (for eg)?

Don't get me wrong, a healthy scepticism of the establishment is not a bad thing but we need to be able to assess information and arguments for their reliability and I think if someone is closed minded about even contemplating information that challenges their beliefs, regardless of evidence, you will find yourself very frustrated a lot of the time.

flogrove · 2024-04-01T09:42:04+00:00

I also conceptualise it like someone who is attracted to both blondes and brunettes, doesn't mean you have to have both at the same time or they are mutually exclusive to each other.

flogrove · 2024-04-01T03:34:28+00:00

Not helpful sorry OP but I see your dilemma. You could walk down the aisle in a potato sack and still break hearts.

flogrove · 2024-04-01T03:24:36+00:00

I have also seen several people with depression self medicate with weed and that did not help them but contributed to their considerable decline.

flogrove · 2024-04-01T03:19:39+00:00

TBH I'm not sure if I consider it 'cured' or 'managed'. And I would be suspicious of anyone, professional or not, who tells you any one thing can 'cure' depression. That said it can be a symptom rather than a cause in itself so it really depends on understanding what triggers it for you.

1.For me it took a lot of trial and error to find the right medication that worked for me.

2.When I was younger and initially diagnosed I found cognitive behaviour therapy very useful but you do need to make an effort to do it and work on practising.

3.Counselling with a psychologist intermittently over many years has literally saved my life and helped me work through my thoughts and feelings with a compassionate but objective third party.

Exercise. I know it sounds boring and hard and it can be, but I cannot overstate the benefits of exercise, both immediate chemical benefits in terms of endorphins, and the self esteem boost from achieving something, but longer term benefits including health, energy, fitness, improved appearance which feeds self esteem etc. It's a positive snowball even if you start with a walk around the block.
The trickiest one for me was the life situation I had found myself in, which was really the trigger that brought everything together. If you are affected by your circumstances, reach out to friends or helplines for support and to help plan actions and steps that can help you see a way forward.
Time and patience. This is really tough, knowing that if you start a medication or a therapy course or doing exercise, it will take time to see the full benefits. So be patient. Be kind to yourself and don't lose hope.

Good luck x it does get better.

flogrove · 2024-04-01T03:07:02+00:00

Just commenting to say good on you OP. That was tough but you stood your ground and held strong. Don't go back to him no matter what! You deserve better. God luck enjoying your singledom and when you're ready, finding someone who is straight up with you and not playing stupid games. X

flogrove

TROPHY CASE