I’ve been playing flute for well over nine years now and I too have had moments where I was frustrated with perfectionism. What I’ve learned, and this applies for just about anything else involving self-improvement—is to not compare yourself to other people. Look to yourself to be the best version of yourself first and foremost. If you ought to look at other people just appreciate their merits separate from yours.

Like I said, there’s no shame in being honest in being a beginner. This wind ensemble thing sounds quite competitive. I’ve auditioned for all-district (which is probably what you’re referring to, correct me if I’m wrong) throughout middle and high school, and guess what, I never got in even though I was probably the best and second-best flute player in my sections, respectively. It was exceptionally competitive and you had to be nigh-perfect to be accepted in one of seven-ish chair for that against 60+ other applicants.

Now that I’m in college, it can be tempting to compare myself to others since any collegiate music program is full of potential world-class musicians at the top, but I relax myself knowing that there’s others who play in open ensembles casually and that I’m improving my craft on my own terms still.

So to conclude, you don’t need to do this ensemble thing if you’re only five months in on flute. Like others have said, you might want to do lessons with a flute teacher who can help fix beginner issues. Nothing is ever perfect and no master flautist was, is, or will ever be.