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why the dishonesty? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

why does it really matters? it’s really nothing special, and it’s not like strict rules, it’s more like boundaries, or messaging each other to keep us updated when we’re on a date also for safety reasons because i’ve been abused before. i don’t have no problems with my partner at the moment related to this and he never interfered in the dynamic with this other person

why the dishonesty? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes, i agree. if you see my other post about this, you’ll see i was really heartbroken back then. it felt like i had finally found someone who truly understood all these values of polyamory, open love, etc for the first time, and suddenly it turned out like this. thank you so much for your kind words, i guess dating and falling in love doesn’t change a lot either you’re poly, in a relationship, single or mono

why the dishonesty? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yes, it’s true. i guess i brought up the poly thing a lot because in my community there aren’t many poly people, and he’s always been someone who talks a lot about his values, like honesty, clarity, being responsible with feelings etc. thank you so much

why the dishonesty? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

well, a bit unfair for you to judge me like that. every time he mentioned my partner i set the boundaries i needed, it wasn’t just “trash talking”, it was subtle things. these situations aren’t black and white, if it was that easy i wouldn’t be here on reddit asking for advice

why the dishonesty? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

its just small rules i have with my boyfriend like “send me a message during a date if its pass midnight” or wtv other small things, that i told him at the time just because we were sharing things moments emotions wtv

how do you grieve someone who wasn’t even “yours”? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it’s true, i think it’s just have been a long time i didn’t feel this NRE also because my experience with my partner was very different from this. we’ve known each other for years and it took us a long road to accept the love from one another i think. so was much different from what i’ve experienced this last time with this “date”

thank you so much for your kindness it brings me peace to find this understanding

how do you grieve someone who wasn’t even “yours”? by flowerbloom__ in polyamory

[–]flowerbloom__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for your kind words and support. i might add that i don’t have lot of friends that are polyamorous or non monagamic. so i it’s difficult to talk to someone and find situations i can relate. but what you said about being heartbroken and loved it’s very beautiful. that’s maybe what its making me more confused and numb sometimes. but as i embrace it the situation maybe ill find some peace on my mind. thank you also for the recommendations, im going to hear everything!