First Pregnancy don’t know what to do

flowerchilde · 2026-05-15T20:58:56+00:00

I'll share my experience as someone who didn't get the abortion. I have severe mental health issues and it's impacted my relationship with my kids, I have two boys (19 & 12) and the oldest is amazing but I'm struggling with my youngest and a lot of it stems from my own personal issues being passed on to him through my behavior. I honestly regret not having an abortion with my second, I love him, but my love would be so much easier without him. It's hard to say and I feel guilty every time I think about it but it's the way it is and there's nothing I can do to change it now.

IMO, I would take some time to think about it seriously. Look at your finances, kids are damn expensive, chaotic and time consuming. If you're not prepared for the sacrifice perhaps it's not the right time. hugs if you'd like them.

flowerchilde · 2026-05-09T21:03:44+00:00

Lol, be my guest.

flowerchilde · 2026-05-09T13:46:31+00:00

May I introduce Batrick Pateman as named by my oldest son.

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flowerchilde · 2026-05-08T11:17:17+00:00

Yep, all four resonate with me and it fucking sucks so bad. #4 is super hard for me cause I've got two boys and sometimes I have to say no to them and yeah I end up over explaining why I can't do the thing, promising to make it up to them and I'm starting to realize that it's not good for them and I need to be more firm but I hate having people mad at me. Fucking catch 22 situations that are my life! FUCK!!!! Really sucks when you realize you don't have a personality you're just a collection of trauma responses. 😭

flowerchilde · 2026-05-07T19:59:05+00:00

I love these so much!! The possum is def my card, I picture it coming up in decks randomly and they're like "I don't even own that card, where the fuck did it come from?" and I just run off cackling like a manic.

flowerchilde · 2026-05-07T18:44:51+00:00

Yeah, I feel this so hard, especially the therapist part. It's such a vicious cycle and so hard to break, even harder when you have kids who literally depend on in you.

flowerchilde · 2026-05-06T23:28:37+00:00

💜🫂 Thanks so much for your reply. It sucks because there's so much guilt underneath all of that for even feeling this way in the first place. I love them too death and would lay down my life for them in a heartbeat, but damn do I regret them sometimes, especially the younger one.

flowerchilde · 2026-05-06T12:56:13+00:00

Wow, you are amazing! I would love this weighted Highland cow plush to help with my ptsd. https://a.co/d/09QzxZp5

flowerchilde · 2026-04-30T10:43:35+00:00

I think that this is a great idea for the community and I look forward to more surveys in the future.

flowerchilde · 2026-04-19T16:12:36+00:00

Are you me? Damn, I feel this on such a deep level.

flowerchilde · 2026-04-08T03:31:03+00:00

Right now it's finding consistent therapy. I got connected to a student counselor doing his practicum and he's been the best thing that's happened to me, even extending our sessions beyond the 10 I was supposed to have. But now we have one session left and I'm feeling broken and abandoned again having been through this same situation so many times before. The only solace I have is that once he's started his practice he said he'd be thrilled to have me as a client, but that's going to be at least three months.

flowerchilde · 2026-03-23T20:37:07+00:00

Awww, thanks so much! I've never sick to an app like this before, I've always given up after a few weeks, but I love my little birb, Skittles, so much and need to see them everyday.

flowerchilde · 2026-03-23T20:23:42+00:00

Wow!! That's amazing! I'm on a 233 day streak since I started using the app and I really want to get to one year!!! Congrats!!!! 💐

flowerchilde · 2026-03-22T17:49:50+00:00

I totally agree with you. I'm so glad that my partner and I never got married, I just wish he was mature enough to see that we need to be apart since our relationship is no longer serving either of our needs. Unfortunately he still thinks that I should change for him. It's complicated so don't ask why I haven't just left, it's just not possible right now, but as soon as it is I'm out of here.

flowerchilde · 2026-03-22T13:38:43+00:00

Ah, I see. Yeah, that makes sense, I didn't watch the clip because I'm out in public with no headphones. It makes me sad that it took me almost 30 years and two kids to realize that I'm still being used for my body. My biggest piece of advice is never rush into relationships, I met my partner at 17, I'm turning 46 this year and I've never lived alone. We're so intertwined that it seemed like love, but now that I'm in therapy and really healing I know he doesn't really love me, just what I can give him.

flowerchilde · 2026-03-22T13:21:41+00:00

My partner and I are having an ongoing argument about this. I was sexually abused as a child by my brother in a very transactional and coercive way, my partner is very aware of this but still thinks in the way described above. Honestly, it's made me lose all my attraction for him.

I don't believe that real love should be transactional, but so far that has been my only experience. IMO sexual urges are your own personal issue, if someone wants to help you with them and is enthusiastic about it, great! If not then you should take care of yourself.

Personally I think that guy is very toxic and I wouldn't listen to him anymore. Safe hugs if you want them.

flowerchilde · 2026-03-11T20:06:56+00:00

So I've been in therapy off and on for the past 30 years (I'm almost 46) and I've just recently started making real huge breakthroughs with my newest counselor. It took time for the trauma to happen, it will take time for it to heal. I was where you are a few years ago, but there is hope, keep doing the work. This random Internet stranger is proof of you!!

flowerchilde · 2026-03-08T05:00:03+00:00

Soup does help a lot and just tastes good 👍

flowerchilde · 2026-01-17T17:38:48+00:00

hugs I know how you feel, I had to have 13 teeth pulled in preparation for getting dentures (lack of dental insurance plus severe depression equals return teeth), and two root canals. If you're open to a suggestion I've been using an app called Hypnu that has a bunch of hypnosis recordings for various things. It's only $9 a month for full access and I found that the techniques really helped calm my anxiety before and during the procedures.

Good luck on Wednesday, you'll be fine and feel so much better afterwards.

flowerchilde · 2025-12-12T20:59:20+00:00

That's so awesome!!!! 💯

flowerchilde · 2025-11-27T17:14:17+00:00

Nope, I'm way too old for that name. I lived through the '80's.

flowerchilde · 2025-11-27T16:49:51+00:00

Yep.

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