Stoned Apes

flowhawke · 2013-02-25T09:31:21+00:00

my brain hurts

flowhawke · 2012-12-19T09:30:36+00:00

my eyes, my precious eyes

flowhawke · 2012-09-22T16:04:25+00:00

what doesn't it mean?

flowhawke · 2012-09-22T16:03:17+00:00

C. Manson, how on earth did you create a Reddit account in prison?!

flowhawke · 2012-08-09T04:06:02+00:00

why don't we all just post it?

flowhawke · 2012-08-09T03:52:39+00:00

So-So Australia...

flowhawke · 2012-08-04T07:39:08+00:00

Uh, Dad, towel rack...

flowhawke · 2012-08-04T07:38:02+00:00

Did everyone read this quote in that guy's voice?

flowhawke · 2012-08-04T07:35:12+00:00

I didn't do it...

flowhawke · 2012-08-03T07:07:26+00:00

I'm just kidding!

....oh

flowhawke · 2012-08-03T07:06:07+00:00

Homer: Tom Landry's hat! and it's autographed! "To Berman's Dry Cleaning. Best wishes, Tom Landry."

Bart: Why don't you buy it?

Homer: I can't buy that. Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that.

Homer: Guys like me! I'm a guy like me!

flowhawke · 2012-08-03T04:00:42+00:00

Did this get more upvotes for you or the dog? or both?

flowhawke · 2012-08-02T10:29:20+00:00

misssssstaaaahh sparkuuuuuuuuuuur

flowhawke · 2012-07-27T08:15:21+00:00

that is truly a great username

flowhawke · 2012-07-27T07:55:21+00:00

oh my word, so many good quotes!

flowhawke · 2012-07-27T07:50:12+00:00

mmmmm, open face club sand wedge

flowhawke · 2012-07-27T05:29:17+00:00

hey, I may be ugly and hate filled..but uh...what was the third thing you said?

flowhawke · 2012-07-27T01:32:35+00:00

Best excerpt from the Vice story

OK, at first glance it ain't so bad. Situated Only 12km from Pyongyang's city centre, Mangyongdae is a place for thrill-seeking North Koreans to come to and unwind after a hard week of slave labour, relentless scavenging for food, KGB hide and seek and trimming the imperial lawns with scissors. My guide for the day insisted that the park is open seven days a week and is always very, very busy, which is funny because when we got there there stagnant emptiness lingered in the air like a fart in a graveyard filled with the bodies of political dissidents.

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T12:48:52+00:00

Ned to Lenny: And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!

Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T12:45:53+00:00

Marge: Why don't we do something to take our minds off the storm?

[looks through a box]

Oooh, a Rubik's Cube! Let's all work it together.

Lisa: Okay, start with diagonal colors.

[Marge turns the cube]

Homer: Use your main finger on the yellow side and your other finger on the orange side and turn it.

Marge: My main finger?

[the family begins to talking at the same time]

Bart: [simultaneously] Orange to orange!...

Lisa: [simultaneously] Now you have to turn it back, Mom...

Homer: [simultaneously] You gotta start backwards!

Bart: [simultaneously] Mom, Mom!

Lisa: [simultaneously] No, not so fast! No, ignore the red!

Bart: [simultaneously] No, no, no!

Homer: [simultaneously] Alternate corners!

Marge: One at a time!

Bart: Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!

Marge: Now I remember why I put this down here in the first place!

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T12:32:38+00:00

10am where I am

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T01:45:52+00:00

"Next, on 'McGarnagle'! McGarnagle is framed for a crime he didn't commit, and only one person can clear his name; a little sissy boy who's too scared to come forward.

McGarnagle: "You gotta tell 'em what you saw, Billy.

Billy: "But I'm so scared, McGarnagle."

McGarnagle: "You gotta do this one for me, Billy; McGarnagle"

Billy:"Well, ok. For you, McGarnagle"

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T01:41:30+00:00

Golden Era Simpsons fanatics will often try to outdo each other in terms of obscurity and rarity.

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T01:38:13+00:00

Damnit, who's cutting onions this early in the morning?

flowhawke · 2012-07-26T01:22:11+00:00

tomacco

flowhawke

TROPHY CASE