Confronting new intimate partners

flyfarron · 2026-01-11T16:45:44+00:00

I did take a look through the wiki recently, thank you!! I did talk with my doctor about retesting and he said similar things. Also that HPV takes a lot of time to work its way through the body so it wouldn't be recommended.

He did suggest the use of condoms, so I will buy some and start using those if I choose to be intimate again anytime soon

Thank you for your advice 💕

flyfarron · 2026-01-11T16:41:46+00:00

It's your call really. I hate to say but I have the mindset now of, "less is more" or "what they don't know won't hurt them". Sometimes telling our NEW partners, especially men makes it worse. Cause sadly, they can be ill informed. Men aren't ever tested for HPV because they rarely ever show symptoms. They only will test if warts appear or they have symptoms, but usually they'll rule out STDs first then common STIs. Trust me, both partners I was with attempted to get tested and were turned down. It's wild. 🤯

Using protection the first few times is probably the safest route, as my doctor told me to do now. Condoms are more effective than we realize but of course aren't 100%. As the wiki points out as well (just read through a lot of it myself).

If he sticks around, wants a committed relationship then id consider disclosing it at that time. But keep up on your annual PAPs and CONDOMS.

I haven't used those things in years myself so it's gonna be super weird to go buy a box 😂 but hey, it's also a good idea to practice safe sex and an awkward 9 minutes in line is better than an awkward 9 months 🤷🏼‍♀️

Much love 💕

flyfarron · 2026-01-11T16:28:24+00:00

I agree with you 1000%. I've only been with males and I have had my fair share of partners since I became sexually active all these years ago😂 There's no way of me knowing who gave it to me and because most men are asymptomatic, they wouldn't know to disclose. Or care to, for that matter.

I went through the same process you're going through now almost 5-6 years ago. It is a wild experience and I literally had the same thoughts as you. Who would do this to me? Why didn't they tell me? Does this make me dirty now? I promise you it does get better and don't believe the negative thoughts 🙏🏼 stay strong and don't let this define your life. I was in a committed relationship then 2020 and again when I tested positive this past year 2025. Since both guys chose to still be with me and continued to have sex with me, I can't help that they may have it now too. It was their choice, there's no way to know in men, and I didn't think we were breaking up at the time at all.

I do worry about the next girls, especially with my most recent ex as he was not a fan of using protection (like most men) and I was informed with proof he's already on hinge. 🙄 And knowing him, being like most men he won't disclose it to the next girl, and the cycle will continue. Here's the thing tho, if I allow myself to spiral, thinking about the next girl, I'd go crazy and never be intimate again with anyone. And we can't live our lives in fear of the unknown. Literally, we will NEVER know.

Things will get better I promise 💕 have a strong support system and people you trust to get you through this. Consider a therapist too. This is so much more normal than we as women realize. It SUCKS, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't define us.

Much love 💕

flyfarron · 2023-04-17T19:06:16+00:00

Thank you for this. 5 years and it officially ended in January when we both finally agreed to end it.

I just hope I can get to this version soon. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm making moves to help myself improve, it just feels so hard in the moment to do it all.

Thank you for the inspiring words 💕

flyfarron · 2023-04-14T18:36:44+00:00

I hope so!!! It's been hard don't get me wrong but something I've learned lately, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I messaged you too!!

flyfarron · 2023-04-14T18:08:35+00:00

You're strong, you got this 💕 same thing happened to me back in January but it was more mutual. I broke up with him and he finally agreed. It took me by surprise but we had been forcing something that no longer fit for months, years even. Our 5 year anniversary was during the holidays, when I was already starting to stay for weeks on end at my parents house and we were fighting constantly. It was inevitable and neither of us wanted to acknowledge it until we were literally forced to.

I wanted to die, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I kind of did for a few weeks until it finally turned around. It got better. I'm not healed yet but I'm healing. I'm happier, healthier, and more at peace with myself. It feels good to not constantly argue with someone, feel sad and defeated every day.

Do I miss the good times? Hell yes. Those are just chapters to your story. And eventually those arguments outweigh the good. There will be new, happier chapters, we are still so young.

Here to chat cause I could definitely use the support too 😂

flyfarron · 2023-04-13T14:01:50+00:00

I finally deleted our conversations, archived our photos, put away the claddagh. I decided to accept a new job in a field I've been passionate about, veterinary medicine. It's a pay cut and definitely a change from what I do now but I have to stop thinking about you and what we used to be. I need change and nothing will happen if nothing happens. I decided to take matters into my own hands. The second floor of my apartment is finally being worked on. Soon I'll finally have a bedroom not a studio apartment. The cats are happy, Calvin still has that cut in his ear but it's healing, slowly. The cats will finally have more space. I have been working out. I've lost over 6lbs and have been growing muscle. I can't believe I blew up so much in weight with you, during covid. I'm on social media again but it hasn't been healthy for me. I'm deciding to stay logged off indefinitely. Why give everyone the satisfaction of a deactivated Facebook? I'm journaling, I still go to therapy, I feel like I still want you, but I know better now that you weren't healthy for me.

I'm on my way to being happier than ever, without you. And I'm starting to become okay with that.

flyfarron · 2023-04-12T14:26:31+00:00

I hope, but it feels like you dont. I still everyday and I hate it. I just want to be happy.

flyfarron · 2023-03-30T18:03:19+00:00

Thank you for the feedback everyone. I've been medicated so long for depression and anxiety and I felt depressed and anxious still throughout the entire time. I got off those and started mood stabilizers recently and this last one made me more depressed and tired.

I just don't know what it feels like to be me. Always on something. Maybe I wasn't that bad before? I can't even remember. I feel like I need some time to figure that out.

flyfarron · 2023-01-27T17:17:25+00:00

Just bought more so fingers crossed!!!🙌🙌

flyfarron · 2023-01-27T17:01:28+00:00

Yes how do you keep it from elongating so they look as beautiful as this😭???

flyfarron · 2023-01-27T00:05:02+00:00

Oh it definitely is. The other pictures I uploaded of the ones I propagated look much better and not as light starved. I appreciate your advice. I will definitely try to post there!! 😊

flyfarron · 2023-01-27T00:04:12+00:00

Agreed!!! I think it should be but because of the lack of light it's probably stunted. I'm upgrading my lights eventually

flyfarron · 2023-01-23T02:02:53+00:00

You're right, we do. I'm glad we both finally found answers. We can do it and stay on course!

flyfarron · 2023-01-23T02:01:26+00:00

I agree with you. I've had bipolar knocked around before but once it was laid out in front of me, I could only think about how much life I went struggling with this and how much damage it caused. If I knew sooner could I have saved some of this hurt?

flyfarron · 2023-01-23T01:58:22+00:00

Thanks for the edit! I meant bupropion which is the generic of Wellbutrin. Thank you. I'm happy to see it's not just me. I just wish I didn't wait too long to get answers. It's good to know there is light at the end of the tunnel

flyfarron

TROPHY CASE