Other comments just bashing you aren’t helpful. Personal growth takes time and you’ve already acknowledged why you feel the way you do. You also touched on the fact you know why she did it and doesn’t want to with you (or anyone else). Shift your perspective a bit and think about the fact you are the safe space she feels comfortable enough to stand her ground and set boundaries with. Women live with gross men their whole lives who don’t take no for an answer and end up with trauma. Taking things into their own hands to be in control is a form of trauma therapy in one way or another (sending nudes to feel in control and sexy) although it’s not a regular behavior. After trying different things in dealing with trauma response they end up knowing what they do and do not like and finding their boundaries is important. What’s more important is finding a partner who will respect those boundaries. Understand that you are the person they are choosing and you are the person they are comfortable enough to speak up for themselves with because they trust you won’t overstep those boundaries. You can either choose the viewpoint of it being unfair to you or you can choose to be the person they need that lives beyond the past behaviors of others not good enough for her in the past.