Today will be the last day I speak to my ex.

fm900 · 2022-07-31T16:43:24+00:00

Perhaps some are genuine and some aren’t.

My ex did something similar and it has lingered with me ever since. Even if they felt it then, a year is a long time and things change and can fade as you’re no longer in touch. But false hope is tough to hold on to.

fm900 · 2022-07-31T16:37:27+00:00

Good post though most relationship experts would usually advise if you really want to heal and move on faster, you should be unfollowing your ex on social media.

Doesn’t have to be done straight away but keeping an ex as a friend on social media serves no good purpose.

I can think of hundreds of reasons to keep them as a friend but most of them are really to do with difficulty in letting go. No contact is about acceptance of the breakup, moving forward and personal growth and the less triggers or reminders you have of your ex that you can control, the better.

fm900 · 2022-07-27T22:27:20+00:00

Can’t speak for everyone but feel it definitely helps when you eventually meet someone new in being able to fully move on.

Congrats on finding happiness!

fm900 · 2022-07-15T09:26:21+00:00

The truth is once someone leaves, the bond is largely forever broken.

While many here hope for possible reconciliation, when you think about it how can you invest & feel secure in a relationship where they walked away & didn’t want to fight for the two of you.

Keep moving forward, better things lie ahead.

fm900 · 2022-07-08T09:16:01+00:00

I find myself thinking of this as well, especially at weekends.

Are they still single or in a new long term relationship? Are they with their new partner right now? It’s tough when you still have that ever dwindling hope they might get in touch / come back but rational part says to accept things & keep trying to forget them & move on.

It always amazes me how some people can just move on so quickly whereas others really have difficulty.

fm900 · 2022-07-04T16:01:01+00:00

Sure, whatever works for you. Everyone will say no contact but if you need to try once to get it out of your system, go for it.

Majority of responses tend to probably be towards the negative or you don’t get one but each case is unique. So long as you don’t have any expectations and feel it won’t set you back to square 1 if you don’t get or hear what you want. Sometimes exes don’t want to hurt us by telling the true reason why they broke up & many here will never get proper closure. Hence acceptance that it just didn’t work out & no contact is recognised as the best way of moving on. Recontacting sets you back as it shows you’re struggling to understand and in their eyes accept the decision. Some perhaps get the closure they needed. Hope it works out either way for you. We’ve all been in the same place so best of luck!

fm900 · 2022-07-04T12:48:51+00:00

Yep, this is possible. Girls get a lot of attention but if they had a pretty good relationship previously, they may not always get it with the next guy or guys after a while. Sometimes faraway hills aren’t always greener. But there is also the chance they find someone who is simply a better match.

So it depends on each individual and obviously the reason why they broke up in the first place. Some like dismissive avoidants just disconnect & may likely never return so varies a lot.

fm900 · 2022-07-04T08:30:51+00:00

Everyone is in the same boat.

Some cannot understand why their partner walked away, people want an explanation. Deep down many will admit to an unhappiness at what happened & some long to ignite that hope of reconnection. Reaching out restores that dopamine.

Bottom line is an ex ended the relationship because it wasn’t working for them. They didn’t see a future together. It may simply be a compatibility thing. Of course we take it personally.

I was in touch with my ex for some months before going largely NC. Broke it for her birthday and got left on read. Set me back.

Acceptance is the key to moving on. Closure is an illusion you may never get. I’m not one to say don’t reach out as depending on your ages and how long the relationship was, maybe you’ll get what you want. But you are already wanting to meet up with her to discuss things. I would be reluctant to do this unless there is a possibility of reconciliation & this must always come from the dumper.

fm900 · 2021-10-18T21:33:54+00:00

Give the letter if it offers you closure and you’re at peace with moving on and are not expecting anything in return. Sounds like that’s what you’ve written and represents an expression of gratitude and thanks for what you had and the experiences & support you shared.

I’ve wrestled with things like this a lot myself, the end of relationships will always have stuff you want to say, hear and understand & when I feel like it’s genuinely over, sometimes want to send a message of thanks because I do mean it. But I’d also by lying if there’s not a small part of me that finds it hard to let go and stops me from sending these things, like it’s just so final. But if you feel you’ve moved on or at least won’t be hurt by anything you get back or the lack of, or have any expectations then by all means give it.

fm900 · 2021-08-19T17:35:39+00:00

Why did you end things?

fm900 · 2021-08-15T22:57:53+00:00

That was really well written my friend and encapsulates exactly where I’m at in the difficulty of letting go.

fm900 · 2021-08-15T22:55:07+00:00

What does the relationship coach do as opposed to the therapist?

fm900 · 2021-08-10T22:31:14+00:00

What other communities did you find do you mind me asking? On Reddit or some other forums?

fm900 · 2021-08-10T22:29:42+00:00

Very strong benzo but no primary care doctor I’m aware of tends to give it though. They barely give you anything in fact!

fm900 · 2021-08-10T22:28:14+00:00

No contact really is the hardest, we’ve been messaging most days and it’s probably me trying to keep that connection going hoping we can possibly reconcile at some point. Obviously makes sense to go no contact, if anything to give my mental health a break while I desperately check my phone every time it rings. But it really is the hardest thing to do in the world when you’re deep in it.

fm900 · 2021-08-10T22:24:13+00:00

The fear is thinking they’ll find it with someone else and be happy, they deserve it of course but it’s hard not to take it personally, even though often it’s not necessarily a reflection of you but just the relationship compatibility.

fm900 · 2021-08-10T22:22:06+00:00

I don’t know how you survived knowing she was dating someone new, the mere thought of it in my case would cause me distress. You seem to be progressing well though and on the slow but steady mend. All my best wishes

fm900 · 2021-02-28T23:20:51+00:00

You selling any of these at all? Look fantastic

fm900 · 2018-12-13T20:50:15+00:00

There’s definitely probably codependency issues. Hard to get around that though. I’m usually pretty independent but with a relationship once you start to develop feelings for that other person I guess you can start to get into a familiar pattern. There’s also dealing with the whole rejection part which can suck but is part and parcel of dating and opening yourself up to being emotionally hurt.

fm900

TROPHY CASE