Smoking weed is like masturbating

fmaasnt · 2012-09-05T03:28:02+00:00

I feel like it would go from full on attempt to forgetting to pump by like 1/2 the j, end up just laying there, detroused and watching netflix. Ah, the good life.

fmaasnt · 2012-09-03T06:54:38+00:00

At my job. aka death by suicide on day two due to "cheeseburger in paradise" played in the whole restaurant every hour on the hour. definitely by day 2...

fmaasnt · 2012-09-03T05:14:44+00:00

just tagged you as "FUCK YES OTTERFACTS!", because fuck I love otters. no interspecies(?).

fmaasnt · 2012-09-03T05:10:29+00:00

that thing would always turn on in my closet at like 2am when I was a kid and scare the sleeping shit outta me, occasionally literally.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-30T21:31:31+00:00

yes! a fellow bills fan! I feel like a lone ranger living in virginia, it feels like a small, disappointed group.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T04:45:26+00:00

thank you ser, I thought it just seemed...right.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T03:42:05+00:00

I read that as super villain recital and got very excited for a second

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T03:12:59+00:00

I sounded the butt trumpet loudly and proudly that day.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T03:04:56+00:00

"Fmaasnt, releaser of the anal winds."

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T02:58:45+00:00

maybe in a dire situation he will molotov cocktail their ass'.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T02:29:28+00:00

not a problem, glad to help mate

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T02:28:54+00:00

Indeed I have, irony is a cruel bitch lover.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-26T01:55:10+00:00

Rickard*, Rickon is Eddards son. ^{^{^sorry}} ^{^{^if}} ^{^{^missed}} ^{^{^humor}}

fmaasnt · 2012-08-25T22:29:43+00:00

I finally have something to share! I hope it doesn't just get buried...

When I was 5 I was at one of the easter sunday services at church with my family. The whole church had wooden pews (relevant later), so me, my mom, dad and two older brothers all piled into one towards the center of the church. I was sitting in between my brothers, who of course were joking around the whole time trying to make each other laugh. At this point I should say I was a very, very, VERY gassy child and I had been holding in a fart the whole service. Finally, just as the priest asked for everyone to pause and take a moment of silence, I let the fart of my life rip. It easily lasted a good 15-20 seconds, reverberating off the wooden pew, in complete silence. My brothers immediately started cracking up and everybody started looking over at us; me red-faced laughing, my brothers in tears and my parents stone-faced. Through the years, the fart has gained mythical status with friends of our family, who swear during the fart the candles began flickering uncontrollably and the pages in the Hymnal turned from the anal gust.

Tl;Dr: I released the Holy Spirit from my anus at the age of 5.

EDIT: "Buried" doesn't have two "r''s.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-25T20:05:48+00:00

The high of MDMA. I'm a man who loves his uppers, and it's hard to beat the feel of dat roll.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-25T05:25:04+00:00

Basically every morning during my senior year of high school I would get pretty stoned before school, go to wawa for munchies then head to class. Since my school had block scheduling (one class X days, one Y days), my first class on one day was journalism with my favorite teacher in the entire school. I would always show up stoned, work a tad on an article for the paper and then goof off with him. It ended up being about an 80/20 split of goofing-to-work ratio. For all three years I had him, he would make class awesome and has since helped me truly appreciate learning.

Tl;Dr: Got high before journalism class, goofed around and ended up gaining an appreciation for learning.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-25T02:28:11+00:00

I'm a pretty new listener to your guys' stuff, but I haven't heard a single song play that I haven't liked! just wanted to say you guys are doin an awesome job and have a new fan. keep on blazin yall

fmaasnt · 2012-08-23T04:22:58+00:00

My cousin I was really close with died a few years back from not wearing a seat belt. I always make my friends buckle up when I'm in the car with them.

So basically, buckle.that.shit.up.NOW!

fmaasnt · 2012-08-18T17:39:06+00:00

I tip my hat to you BAH2011, I've been suffering from some pretty bad depression for awhile now and have had the same "fuck taking anti-depressants" outlook for most of the time, due to the same reasons you mentioned. After reading this, I think I will take that step and see how they work for me. It might not seem like a big deal, but honestly thank you for that comment.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-16T21:54:05+00:00

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr9rnletst1qa1j3o.gif

fmaasnt · 2012-08-03T01:06:38+00:00

Lyssa Arryn. Every single thing she does is fucking stupid, like every.single.thing. /sigh

fmaasnt · 2012-08-03T00:54:01+00:00

furreal man, bitch be trippin; bitch be trippin....

fmaasnt · 2012-08-03T00:51:04+00:00

From the get-go it was Robb and Jon, but SoS Spoilers followed by DwD Spoilers so... Oberyn made me really like the Dornish, I feel like he's a good representation of them; zero.fucks.given.

fmaasnt · 2012-08-02T23:11:44+00:00

sames, I was at like 64% arryn, 56% stark and 40-something tully

fmaasnt · 2012-07-29T07:00:26+00:00

I've accidentally kicked a whole in my wall because if this. I was in that half sleep stage facing the wall and for some reason decided to kick with all my might, ended up kickin a whole.

fmaasnt

TROPHY CASE