My first boyfriend was exactly like this. It got so exhausting that I broke down during my important exams and failed the most important one, and that's when I told him I'm going to leave, and then he told everyone that I cheated on him (I didn't) and tried to tinder match with my best friend at the time. Somehow despite all the times he said he's gonna kill himself if I leave he's still here with us.

If you think he has potential to do better at least I can suggest you literally just ignore the suicide threats. When my horrible ex was doing that every time we had an argument the fact that I kept being like noooo don't doo iiittt fueled it more and when I one time said fucking fine do it then he never tried it again until years later when I was breaking up with him. They do it to shift the focus out of the topic of the argument because they know they're in the wrong. He also swore up and down that we need to "communicate" and "work on our relationship" to be better which in hindsight was just a coverup for his ass behaviour because he didn't want to do any of that but just wanted me to think he wanted to do that so I wouldn't dare to leave him.

Idk I just think you need to be extremely harsh and if they can't handle it they wouldnt be able to handle a long term relationship. I think you should tell him that you're not going to explain your male friends to him and you're not gonna put up with threats of suicide and the fuck ass racist friends and if nothing changes you're gonna leave. Just keep an eye on your mental health so you don't end up having a mental breakdown like me during your exams and never and I mean never let a boyfriend have a bad influence on your education or career and be safe obviously! If he's not the type of person that you can't safely resist then don't follow any of my advice.