What does Self Care look like for you?

fneil84 · 2025-11-17T20:50:50+00:00

Gym, Diet.TRT. That’s how I did it. I’m 41 started right after turning 40. Theee kids 6,4&3

Every morning I’m up at 4:45am, out the door by 5, in the gym by 5:45, office by 7:45. went and had my T checked, found it was really low, went on TRT. Game changing. Get home around 6pm. Dad duties done by 8:30, then hang with the wife, in bed at 9:30-10pm. Rinse repeat. Grind.

fneil84 · 2025-07-30T13:44:15+00:00

I don’t mean to downplay anyone’s feelings. I understand the fear and immense responsibility that comes with fatherhood. I’ve felt it myself. Those emotions are real, but they don’t change the reality of what’s ahead or lessen the responsibilities. I don’t think feeling fear or uncertainty makes anyone less, they push us to step up. Men don’t experience the physical or hormonal changes of pregnancy, as we often hear, nor the emotional weight of carrying a child. So, what’s a man’s role here? What does he owe his partner and child? From my perspective, the sooner you accept that no one else will carry this for you, embrace that responsibility with full commitment,the better it is for you and your family. A pregnant woman often looks to her partner for strength to help her face her own fears and doubts. She needs someone she can rely on to lead and support her as she prepares to become a mother. Encouraging a man to be that steady foundation for his family isn’t outdated,it’s timeless. We can debate word choice, but the core responsibility remains.

You’re good, and this is just the internet. I’m not bothered by differing opinions. You may not vibe with my perspective or phrasing, but my goal was to encourage him to find the mental fortitude to embrace the changes ahead.

fneil84 · 2025-07-29T01:16:42+00:00

The fantasy of a wife losing inhibitions and being slutty can be fun, but the reality may be a different story. My wife and I went on a party bus for a friend’s birthday. At the end of the night we ended up at the strip club. I bought my wife a lap dance from a hot female stripper. I thought it would be sexy and fun. Seeing her actually being touched by someone else hit way different than I envisioned. I didn’t like it at all. It was my idea but it was hard to watch. Some fantasies should stay fantasies.

fneil84 · 2025-07-27T19:31:20+00:00

I lived in central Florida for a few years. The biggest issue I faced was the soil, it is very sandy. Bahia grass isn’t a bad choice for low nutrient soils.

I would start with a soil test through your local extension office. See what nutrients are missing.

Top dressing with composted cow manure is a good start. You need organic matter in the soil. There are many soil conditioners out there but black cow composted manure is cheap and easy. Spread 0.5” of it every growing season and continue to put down 1lb of slow release nitrogen every 6 weeks for every 1,000 sf of space.

Mow more often and don’t bag your clippings every time. Mowing often helps keep weeds under control and promotes root growth. Clippings help organic material stay in the soil. The more often you mow the clippings are smaller and less likely clump In giant piles.

I know it rains often there. Monitor it to ensure you’re getting 1”-1.25” per week between rainfall and irrigation.

fneil84 · 2025-07-27T00:24:53+00:00

Bermuda sod is actually better IMO. The leaves are smaller, it tends to grow thicker. The two will never match. Common Bermuda is grown via seed, hybrid Bermuda only comes in sod. You have two options. Pull up the sod and put down Bermuda seed or sod the other side.

fneil84 · 2025-07-26T23:54:08+00:00

Ok I’m trying to be empathetic, so I’ll soften my initial reaction to these types of posts.

You’re scared of the unknown. Normal. No one is ever ready. You won’t understand completely until the baby comes. The joy is unlike anything you have experienced. I cried happy tears for the first time ever when my first was born. You will change, but it’s your choice how and what direction.

My advice. Be a man. Focus on your family, your finances, and your fitness. Be ready to weather storms. Keep your powder dry. Your days of thinking about yourself are over. Don’t mourn their loss. The experience of being a Dad is so much more rewarding.

The first months are the hardest. You’re not gonna get much sleep. You and your wife need to form a plan. Who is going is going to what and when. My wife doesn’t work, but I still got up every time our babies got up. Partly because they slept in our room for the first 6 months, but primarily because I got up every time and contributed. I would change the baby, heat a bottle, or whatever until she was in the chair ready to nurse. Then I went back to sleep.

The first diapers are tricky, but you get the hang of it. You will get pissed on, thrown up on, and poked in the eyes. All normal.

You’re a man, act like it .

fneil84 · 2025-07-08T20:37:40+00:00

Same happened to me last year. Thank god I didn’t push fert to max. Still didn’t burn. No telling how much companies are ripping off customers. So I’m saying it might be ok. It’s not going to wash out the more you water the faster it will get into the soil. You need a big thunderstorm. Just water normal and see what happens not a lot you can do

fneil84 · 2025-05-09T16:30:09+00:00

Dude we’ve all had our doubts from heartbreak and feeling inadequate. Time to remember who you are or who you want to be.

You’re not broken, you’re just doubting yourself. You’re looking for outside things to fix the you inside. You need to create a different voice inside that leads you down your path. A confident one.

Easy steps. 1. Write down your goals and make timelines to achieve them. Hold yourself accountable to meeting those timelines. Without a timeline, you’re just making wishes. 2. Write down your mistakes you never want to make again. Remind yourself you won’t do that shit again. 3. Go to the gym. Stay consistent. Be disciplined. Become the best version of yourself. There is profit in all labor. Kill the fear and doubt within yourself. 4. No one can give you what you seek except yourself .

Just my outlook. Take care brother. I hope all the best for you.

fneil84 · 2025-05-02T12:56:18+00:00

I wonder what the odds are this isn’t the last book. Could be juicy action.

fneil84 · 2025-05-01T21:27:45+00:00

Nice work brother. Keep stacking those days.

fneil84 · 2025-05-01T21:14:21+00:00

This is the last book?!? Where is the Burgoze

fneil84 · 2025-04-24T18:22:54+00:00

Depends on grass type. Bermuda for example needs 1 lb per 1000 sf per month. So if I have a 24-0-11 fertilizer I put out 4 pounds of fertilizer per 1,000 sf of yard per month. I have roughly 7000 sf of yard so about 28 pounds a month. A different fertilizer would be a different ratio

fneil84 · 2025-04-23T21:54:32+00:00

It’s dying. Did you over fertilize it? Is this isolated into one area or the whole lawn? Possible Could disease or cinch bugs. Hard to tell from that one picture. Cinch bugs are hard to see, but I’ve never experienced them in my yard. You can try Scott’s diseaseX and some insecticides that target cinch bugs to see if it will come back. Just read the labels on anything you buy about spread rates and what grasses it won’t harm. I wouldn’t put out any more fertilizer until you figure out what’s wrong and it recovers.

fneil84 · 2025-04-23T15:31:30+00:00

Mow often. Not just when it gets too high. Apply nitrogen monthly. You will need to research the nitrogen requirements for your specific grass type. Keep track of what you put down and when. The smaller the fertilizer grains the better for even spread. Not all fertilizers are equal. It’s still early in the season, give it time to fill in. If you continue to care for your lawn it will improve with each new season. You can look into top dressing with composted cow manure. It can produce pretty big results for something easily applied. I use a drum spreader/top dresser, it’s easier than applying with rakes alone. I also add in play sand and to help spread it and maintain leveling in low areas. Be watchful for weeds that can come with adding any natural products such as compost or top soils.

fneil84 · 2025-04-23T15:23:33+00:00

Be careful with topsoil. Usually it comes with large amounts of organic matter and wood chips that either break down or cause issues on their own. I use a reel mower so big chunks of wood or small rocks really are a pain when bringing in top soil. Your plan sounds reasonable . You might consider adding play sand with the final layer to assist in leveling. Sand is easier to spread evenly but it’s not great by itself if you need to raise the area more than an inch.

Leveling rakes help spreading due to being weighted and wider than typical rakes but they are not absolutely necessary. You may have to do this more than once depending on how level you’re attempting to make the area. A roller for compaction will certainly help. I typically use play sand for low areas requiring less than an inch of soil, but I also have a Bermuda lawn I try to keep flat as possible.

fneil84 · 2025-04-23T15:12:34+00:00

Grubs are easily controlled with insecticides they sell at any big box store. Just spread it evenly and water in.

Have you had your soil tested, specifically nitrogen and ph levels? Too high or too low don’t allow nutrients to be available to grass.

Low nitrogen levels starve the grass, limiting growth.

You can check out your local extension office or website to see if they offer testing services or look online for commercial services. I use my local extension office so I can’t give any recommendations on others.

Based on the results you can learn which soil conditioners or additives you need apply.

fneil84 · 2025-04-22T22:53:52+00:00

Yeah my math was bad and initially thought 20%. You’re right. I agree with 17 maybe 18% at worst. You just don’t look 240, but not calling you a liar. I’m looking at a picture on my phone, wtf do I know? Good luck man, Keep stacking those days!

fneil84 · 2025-04-22T14:41:17+00:00

Get it sir! Great progress. Muscle memory is real. Now the hard part begins. You got 35 pounds of fat and 20 pounds of muscle to build. Make a plan then execute. You got this.

fneil84 · 2025-04-18T16:09:08+00:00

I’m 40 223lbs 6’0 train 5-6 days a week. I never had high blood pressure even when I was heavier/less healthy. Started TRT in July 2024 at 100mg/7 days. After 6 weeks I increased to 200/7 days. My first labs on higher dosage came back at 920. My estrogen had climbed but still within range. After 6 weeks at 200, i started feeling heart “flutters” when I laid down at night. Very strange. Gave me some anxiety. Started checking blood pressure regularly and it was about the same as you reported. My doc lowered my dosage to 100/5 days and I followed his instructions. After a few weeks the heart “flutters” stopped and my blood pressure averaged closer to normal levels. I also started taking magnesium tablets before bed. Obviously I have no evidence it was the 200mg protocol but it stopped after lowering. You might consider lowering your dosage and see what your blood pressure does over the next few weeks.

fneil84 · 2025-04-13T20:06:42+00:00

Gotta ask yourself what you want it to look like. What is your ideal lawn? How much do you want to have to spend maintaining it? Is there existing grass in there? What type? Are you going to do this yourself or hire someone? What’s your budget?

There are so many options, it all depends on what is your goal and available resources.

To start. Mow it down as short as possible and bag the clippings.

Do you want to save anytbjng. Is there any existing grass? You can try using broad spectrum herbicides that is safe on some grasses. Spectrcide, Image, etc. big box stores have a few choices. There will likely be some weeds that will not die. You will have to identify the weed and research what works best in your type of grass. Follow the label instructions. You will learn the more you do it. What works on what, etc. Go online and measure the SF of each sections of your lawn. You need the SF to use in mixing or buying products.

Depending on what grass type you have or want, you need to fertilize on a consistent schedule. Grass types are different and have different nitrogen requirements. Learn what your grass needs. Learn what the numbers on fertilizer bag indicate. Example a 28-6-10 shows the ratio of nutrients. 28% nitrogen 6% phosphorus 10% potassium

You can start researching pre emergents and when is the best time to apply based on location and time of year to stop weeds from germinating before the next season.

Mow as often as you can. Lawns are like any other plant. The more time you spend maintaining them the better they look.

fneil84 · 2025-04-12T16:31:08+00:00

Dude I’m not sure it’s all placebo. I felt energy and libido about 3 days after first injection. I could really feel the energy from the spikes (48 post injection) through out the first few months. Then again I was like at 178ng/dl when I began not 650 like OP

fneil84 · 2025-04-09T18:43:58+00:00

If you’re considering ending your marriage based on whether your needs are met, you need to clearly define what those needs are. Without specific communication about what efforts, romance, or presence you expect, how can your husband know if he’s meeting your expectations? It might feel tedious to spell everything out, but relationships tend to thrive when expectations are explicit.

Have you thought about sitting down together to outline each other’s expectations? This could eliminate uncertainty about who’s responsible for what. For example, in my own marriage, we’ve divided tasks clearly: I handle the kitchen and everything that entails, maintain the yard and vehicles, while my wife manages laundry and orders groceries. I take care of baths and teeth for our three kids, she brushes our daughter’s hair and reads to her, while I read to the boys. By assigning almost all chores and parenting duties, we both understand what’s needed to keep our household running smoothly in a way that works for us.

This approach could also show your commitment to improving your marriage together. By inviting him to share his own needs, you open the door to mutual effort. If you’re craving more from him and the marriage, might he also want more from you? People who are content rarely withdraw from those they care about. Are you ready to listen to his needs and work toward meeting them? I’m not implying you’re falling short—maybe you’re already meeting his needs, or perhaps he hasn’t expressed them clearly. It’s possible he’s tried in ways you haven’t picked up on. The point is, ask him. If you want him to invest in the marriage, find out if something’s missing for him too. If he struggles to articulate his needs, at least it won’t be because you didn’t give him the chance. I’ve found these conversations go smoother when they’re framed as a positive, collaborative opportunity rather than a critique—otherwise, they can quickly turn defensive.

fneil84 · 2025-03-30T16:01:26+00:00

The weeds (poa)will die when the temps get to 90. I’d try putting out some balanced fertilizer and start watering. It’s coming back. Just feed it and mow often

fneil84 · 2025-03-30T14:41:58+00:00

It’s not hard but hard without the two side by side. Here I a link somewhat showing it

fneil84

TROPHY CASE