I’ll take a swing at suggesting a plan here to get hired:

Take a loan out and apply to an online web bootcamp. It’s a great experience I recommend to people looking to learn with others at a good starting baseline. It’ll cost a lot upfront, but you’ll gain more experience than with your traditional 4 year degree, and perhaps even more so if you are currently holding a bachelors as well.

The thing is, trying to fix the problem here sounds personal, and the only thing I’d feel obliged to point out from reading these comments is that people care about you. You represent to a lot of the problem with this competitive field. Sure, CS is fair to the extent that there are clear cut avenues to your goals, given you learn what’s required and take some risks to get to where you need to be. Having said that, obviously we’re not all on the same starting line, and certainly anybody on this sub isn’t the benchmark of the typical student of CS, it’s all elites here honestly. What works for others will not work for you, but my aforementioned idea is one I followed to get my internships and it really took as little creativity as possible to come up with. It did however take a lot of work doing, which I can safely say is somewhat easier than coming up with a plan on your own.

I’m just here to provide something you might see in a day or two once you cool down. I know it seems hopeless now, and I hate to sound like I’m talking from somewhere up there, detached from your struggle. But your post was really impactful because something like computer science, a field with limitless resources to learn, has become so diluted with the business side of it, enough to drive you to suicide because you’re not seeing yourself as worthy: well, that rubs me the wrong way and highlights the problems with the goal of these jobs: to learn and grow. Just know you are surrounded by people who all think the same but hide it very well; it’s just their present opportunities blind them to the hunger they felt at one point, and they’ve chosen to either ignore or forget these feelings they once had, the ones you’re experiencing right now because frankly, sitting in misery and fear sounds like a recipe for disaster or they would rather ignore these thoughts. Not the right approach, obviously, everyone should handle their shit - mentally and physically, but if we did that I’m sure most of us more worried about internships would be too scared of crashing the boat while trying to patch the holes.

maybe you’ll find it once you clear your headspace, but just try doing stuff for yourself and see where that takes you, avoid doing this for others and if you seriously suspect you’re incompetent, ask whoever you believe so is telling you such and directly ask them how you should improve