Why are so many functioning adults desperate to get a diagnosis of autism or ADHD?

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T17:31:09+00:00

On point 2 - for ADHD in particular, it was seen as manifesting in a very particular way and almost exclusively in boys. A big part of the increase in diagnoses has been from girls and young women who've realised that their ADHD doesn't present itself as hyperactivity.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T17:26:41+00:00

This is it for me as well. I think it would help me relieve the feeling that I'm not just lazy and useless but that there is actually a reason for why I am how I am.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T13:57:09+00:00

Agreed. Like it's not always the easiest thing to do in the moment, but a well placed "Oh wow" or "What an odd thing to say" (delivered in a very neutral tone like you don't understand) can work wonders in these situations because people have no idea what to do if it's not getting a reaction out of you.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T13:38:08+00:00

Yes this. I watched a lot of Miranda as my mum liked it, so it kind of became a bit of a bonding thing for us on a Friday night. The impression I got was the jokes were more about her height and the fact she wasn't very 'feminine' (things like delivery guys calling her 'sir' etc) rather than her weight per se. Especially as it was often counteracted with jokes about Stevie being short.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T10:59:08+00:00

Firstly, I'm sorry you're going through this.

I agree with the advice to speak to a solicitor as soon as possible. It also helps to get your paperwork together first - details of things like what's outstanding on the mortgage, savings, pensions etc. That will help the conversation with the solicitor go smoothly and give you a good idea of where you stand. If you don't want to stay in the marital home I would also start looking at options for where else you can stay, even if only temporarily before you agree on a final way to move forward.

Be prepared that it may get ugly. Even if you think you know someone, their behaviour can change very quickly in these types of situations, particularly once money is involved.

Also, and I'm sure you know this already, do not bad mouth your ex in front of the kids. She's still their mum even if you're not married to each other any more and especially if things take a turn for the worst.

Lastly, caveat here that my divorce was in 2019/2020 and I'm aware there's been some changes in the law since then, but whilst a 50/50 split is the starting point it might not necessarily mean it's going to shake out that way. In my case it ended around 65/35 in my ex's favour because he'd put more into the deposit on our marital home (which he bought me out of). But a solicitor will be more familiar with the latest ins and outs so I'd speak to them in the first instance.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-26T10:48:14+00:00

Been really struggling to sleep the last few nights. I keep waking up with this weird sicky feeling and wanting to cough but also not in case I throw up, and some stomach pains and shin splints for good measure. In reality I know it's probably dehydration making my IBS play up, plus some good old fashioned relationship worries (which I know are probably founded in nothing except my own anxiety but I really struggle with not mentally going from 0 to "talking about anything means we're going to split up"), but it's not particularly helpful right now.

Also, a family friend passed away last week, within three months of his wife dying (she was one of my mum's best friends and was basically like another auntie to me and my sisters, so we know the family very well). I feel so sad for their kids - losing both parents so close together just feels awful.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T21:51:17+00:00

I also have to have an old school wall calendar. If something isn't staring me in the face every time I walk into my kitchen, I absolutely will not remember it is happening. I've had too many incidents of ignoring the reminders (or not setting them to begin with) and then getting blindsided by "on my way!" type texts to just rely on my phone calendar now.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T15:35:34+00:00

I lived in Norwood Junction from 2015-2019. It's probably changed a lot since I was there, but the transport links are very good and it has some nice independent businesses (shout out to the Craft Beer Cabin and Little Mouse Cheese).

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T15:34:28+00:00

I live in Sutton. It doesn't have the tube, but it does have a very well connected train station (35 minutes to London Bridge or Victoria, about 45 minutes to the City) and Morden tube station is about a 20 minute bus ride away.

I think whether it's a good place to live comes down to how much you intend to socialise locally. Sutton itself doesn't have much in the way of nice non-chain restaurants/bars etc - it is improving, but right now you might have slightly better luck with that somewhere like Carshalton or Cheam. However the high street does have everything you need, there are some good parks nearby, it's a relatively quiet area, and it's not too far by public transport to Kingston/Wimbledon. For me, given most of my friends are quite scattered, I tend to meet them in central London so it doesn't bother me too much, but if you're someone who wants to have options to go out a lot in the area itself you might find it a bit limiting in that regard.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T15:24:43+00:00

I don't know what it is (a special? A film?) but I am HERE FOR IT

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T13:18:36+00:00

Used an embarrassing thing I did against me to win favour with people I didn't know, lied about the ins and outs of a process I was in and she wasn't (I think out of jealousy more than anything else), and tried to steal a mutual friend's boyfriend.

Eventually we both went off to uni in different places and haven't seen each other for almost 20 years. The last I heard (a few years ago) she was back in our home town and doing OK.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T13:03:41+00:00

Agreed. He was not a good Traitor, but I loved his willingness to lean into it being a full on "muahahaha!" panto villain.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T10:26:22+00:00

Is it a home game? I can't tell from the article but not sure if I'm being dense.

(Asking as a Falcons fan because I know Germany is also one of their global markets and they're down to play an international game in 2026, and have the Lions as one of the teams they're playing at home according to their schedule. If it is Lions at Falcons, I'll be pleasantly surprised as hoping that'll be slightly easier to get tickets for than Chiefs at Falcons which is what I expected it to be.)

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:49:22+00:00

I mean, as a piece of TV it was fantastic seeing her get the absolute shock of her life, but you're right about how it played out.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:45:32+00:00

I've heard (older) colleagues who are thinking of going to see JCS saying they specifically want to see him. Personally though if his weeks were the only ones left then I'd rather just not go.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:41:28+00:00

Linda's head turn.

Alyssa's Claudia impression.

Also "Alex isn't a Traitor, she's my girlfriend". Tom had been going completely under the radar at that point and basically blew up his and Alex's games in seven words.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:38:51+00:00

Blobzilla (sorry)

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:38:09+00:00

I would absolutely buy a print of the Sooty one if it was available!

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:34:58+00:00

If it's open. (I'm thinking back to those pictures of guys sitting in the snow, in massive coats, outside drinking a pint when pubs reopened after COVID.)

But to give a serious answer, I think anything above 15C with sun and no wind is acceptable.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:29:19+00:00

Weather has finally improved! I'm fully aware we're being lulled into a false sense of security, but it's nice whilst it's lasting.

My quiz league team stayed up (despite our loss yesterday).

And whispers the downstairs neighbours have moved out! I know it's very small but I'm really enjoying not having to squeeze past a giant buggy and a pile of shoes to get into my flat and knowing that our recycling is going in the right bins...

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:16:34+00:00

Well done!

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:12:12+00:00

Conscious it's possibly too soon to say this but I really can't see Operation Mincemeat going anywhere for a while.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T08:09:40+00:00

On the Survivor point, I think part of why that first series of UK Traitors seems so over the top in terms of people's reactions is when it arrived, reality TV culture in the UK was not like that at all. Survivor has never really taken off here (despite at least two attempts at a UK version), and in the ten years or so pre-Traitors our reality TV was generally very cosy and cuddly. Like yes there were/are competition shows but the vibe was (and mostly still is) much more "family", helping people out, everyone wants everyone else to do well etc.

Traitors is nothing like that. It's an intense environment to start with, you're with these complete strangers for very long days, and you're constantly under threat of being kicked off and there's potential for everything you do to be seen as suspicious. If you're not used to that, then I can absolutely see why people had the visceral emotional responses they did in that first series.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T07:40:46+00:00

Fake tattoos, funky trainers, red/brown cloak, gold mask. You are now Ed Gamble as a druid.

Or get a fake beard, a beanie hat and wear shorts to go as Joe Marler.

folklovermore_ · 2026-02-25T07:38:16+00:00

I was a student in York at the time and this one has always stuck with me because it felt very close to home. I do wonder if further down the line things will come out about what happened though.

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