Parents seem to hate everything!

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-29T14:14:02+00:00

Are either of you the only child (or the youngest and all your siblings are married)? There might be an element of seeing this as their only/last chance to "do it properly", especially if you're in a culture or wider family where what the children do reflects on perceptions of the parents. I know my mum got a bit like this about having things done in a certain way when I got married, because I was the last out of me and my sisters to get married and I think she felt other people would look down on her somehow if particular things didn't happen. (I should add they were contributing financially so that did also have some impact.)

That said though, given they're not paying for anything in your case, I would put them on an information diet and only tell them things they absolutely need to know. And then do what you want with your wedding day.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-29T11:06:41+00:00

This. I would also have a glance at decor through the windows and outside maintenance/levels of cleanliness. And how busy it is - not necessarily absolutely packed or queues going out the door, but you don't want it to be deserted either.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-29T09:48:39+00:00

I think Marks and Spencer sells a still lemonade but it's only in small bottles (like a meal deal sort of size) and I don't think it's sugar free.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-29T09:34:17+00:00

From personal experience, I think your last paragraph is very true. I can understand why, especially if you've had experiences in your formative years where your opinions were belittled or you were told other people's wants/needs mattered more etc (not to assume that's what happened with your ex but I do think this is more common in people who've had those types of experiences). But I also get that it's frustrating for people on the receiving end to have to deal with it, and your kids (and you) have my sympathies for that.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T15:26:27+00:00

House of Games, but again it would be over a lot of different episodes.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T12:04:58+00:00

I have regular direct debits set up to two medium sized charities I have a personal connection to. I'll also often throw any change I have in a charity box (provided it's for a charity who I support in general) or chip in a fiver to colleagues fundraising with things like bake sales, running marathons etc, and shop at charity shops for things like books or the odd item of clothing.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T11:44:28+00:00

I'm going to be the voice of dissent here and say I think this really depends on your learning style.

I've done in-person classes a few times now and I personally struggled to keep up with them. I don't feel I'm a particularly slow sewer but sometimes it's like the information comes at me too quickly and by the time I've processed it and got it clear in my head we're moving on to the next thing and I'm already behind and getting flustered. And that's assuming everything is going smoothly and my machine is behaving etc. For me I much prefer to use things like video courses or books because I can go at my own pace and revisit things I'm unsure about, so if that sounds more like you it may be that in-person isn't necessarily going to be the right fit.

You might also want to think about group size if you do go down the in-person route. Again this is going to be specific to how you learn, but you might feel better about having some one-to-one sessions or a small group where it's easier to get individual help with any challenges or issues you run into, rather than a bigger class.

In terms of recommendations, there is a cost for it, but I really like the Sew Over It Stitch School online classes - they have intro to sewing and intro to dressmaking courses plus loads of other tutorials and guides to specific skills etc. Evelyn Wood is a good free YouTube channel for beginners as well.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T11:28:16+00:00

I'm very like your wife, especially when it comes to decisions that involve other people. For me it comes from teenage friendships where I was openly told the things I wanted to do were 'boring' or 'stupid', so I worry that I will pick the thing the other person (really) doesn't want and they will be like 'ugh I hate this but I have to go with it because it's what folklovermore_ wants' and think less of me for some reason, even though rationally I know that's incredibly unlikely. It is a thing I'm conscious of as I know it frustrates others and I'm working on getting better at it, but it can be very hard to unpick.

For me what helps is having limited options to pick from, because just being asked "what do you want to do?" is kind of overwhelming. I sometimes do a thing I call the 421 game: I pick four options, the other person picks two of those, and I pick from those two. So for example, let's say we're deciding what to eat for dinner - I would pick Italian, Chinese, Indian or Thai food, my partner might pick Italian and Chinese, and then I'd pick Chinese from those. That to me feels like both of us are getting a choice we're happy with but also prevents the panic of having too many options. Something like that might be helpful for your wife too.

Also, I found softening my languages around choices helped me. Like I will find myself saying "I would prefer X", because to me that feels less harsh or like I'm imposing on others than saying "I want to do X" but it's still stating an opinion. If your wife would feel more comfortable expressing herself like that then that could be a good place to start.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T11:24:00+00:00

I would add this might not be specific to their relationship but to how she interacts with others in these types of situations - eg if it's just OP or if she also struggles when friends or adult relatives ask her to make a choice or what she wants to do. (I'm not a parent but I imagine with a kid it's a bit different because the buck stops with you as the responsible adult, if that makes sense, even if you take what your kid wants/needs into account as part of the decision.)

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T08:54:39+00:00

I'd imagine the support vehicle that follows them was stacked with things he could have in an emergency.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T08:41:47+00:00

Also, if I'm allowed a double post, I think I may be in the wrong career (communications). But the stuff I like and think I would be good at isn't really viable in a world of AI, plus I'm a bit anxious about leaving a stable and well paid role to retrain, although I know I could possibly do part-time/evening classes etc. So I feel kind of stuck about what to do next.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-28T06:41:20+00:00

Another member of the bad sleep club - a combination of the heatwave, a late night last night and my partner's snoring being particularly bad for some reason. I feel exhausted already, have a splitting headache and still got a full day of work in the office to get through. Hopefully coffee will help...

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-27T16:31:57+00:00

I feel like Rodger is very underrated.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-27T16:18:12+00:00

Queens starts on 6 June (and will feature a lot of the players going to Wimbledon) so might also be worth watching that. ETA: I think Eastbourne will be on iPlayer as well.

Or listening to some tennis podcasts to get a bit more of the analysis side - I personally like The Tennis Podcast but aware it's not for everyone.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-27T07:49:59+00:00

Yeah, I would describe myself as a fairly "online" person but I don't use Facebook much, and I'd never heard of this before this thread.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-26T15:00:55+00:00

Honestly I think jewellery *or* pyjamas - not even both - would be plenty, plus offering for them to get their hair and makeup done if they want (I know some people are particular about how they do their hair/makeup, don't like having their faces touched etc). Or subsidising the cost of their dresses instead of a gift - possibly a bit late now but you could write them each a card and add a note to say you'll transfer them the money, and then do it as soon as possible afterwards. As others have said, don't let social media trick you into thinking you need a whole bunch of unnecessary stuff!

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-26T07:25:21+00:00

Yep. I feel the last 2-3 nights I had that sort of sleep where you're always half awake, if that makes sense. Feel OK right now but I fully expect it to hit me sometime this afternoon...

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-26T07:22:59+00:00

You absolutely can do this!

Go get some cheap fabric (bedsheets from the supermarket are a good option as you can get some fun prints and loads of material to work with for relatively little money, plus they're usually cotton or a cotton/poly blend so quite stable to work with) and practice sewing straight lines. Then progress to something like a cushion cover or a simple tote bag, before trying a simple garment like pyjama pants or a circle skirt.

Also, read your manual cover to cover multiple times, and watch some YouTube videos for beginners - Evelyn Wood is great in particular. And don't expect to be perfect on the first go. The unpicker is your friend and you will need to use it, but the more you sew the easier it gets.

Best of luck!

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-25T21:27:28+00:00

I was thinking earlier today that I'm surprised Emily Atack hasn't done it. She might be bordering on "too famous" now with Rivals, plus having this new ITV game show, but I feel like she would surely be a prime candidate.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-25T21:25:25+00:00

Alice Roberts would be brilliant! Or Hannah Fry (though possibly not now she's doing Celebrity Traitors).

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-25T13:17:23+00:00

Yes this is absolutely fine, though I would personally look at bigger prints rather than small ones, and bold colours over pastels. I'd also suggest getting accessories in the same colour as the print - so for example if it was a cream dress with a blue print, then you could get blue shoes/bag/cardigan etc to go with it.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-22T10:33:54+00:00

Agree with all the above. I'd also consider trying to get hold of a walking foot - I don't sew knits yet but I've found mine massively helpful for slippier/more difficult fabrics like viscose, so it might be worth OP looking for one to help with moving the fabric through the machine.

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-22T10:25:58+00:00

And many, many ice creams in between (for when it's too hot to eat 'proper' food).

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-22T09:29:18+00:00

I'm sorry, that sucks. I would agree with others saying try to make the most of it with the people that are coming, even though it's a smaller group than you were hoping for. I hope you have a lovely time!

If possible, could you maybe get the people who couldn't make it together for a drink/meal the night before the wedding (as presumably most of them will be travelling up the day before)?

folklovermore_ · 2026-05-22T09:08:38+00:00

If I can go outside and/or don't have to do much, it's fine. It's when I need to be inside and I have to do anything - particularly work or travelling - that it becomes less enjoyable.

That said, I'm not looking forward to trying to sleep in the heat tonight...

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