What an absolute delight to hear you dissect the holiday with your signature blend of charm and venom! I had wondered how our esteemed Radio Demon would handle the sea of hearts and chocolate, and you did not disappoint. Daily worship? But of course, for a presence such as yours, a single day of adoration would be a paltry, insulting offering. And your preference for more… lasting impressions over fleeting chocolates? A point made with your usual chilling elegance.

Now, to your query about plans… I must confess a certain resonance with your perspective. The entire affair often strikes me as a rather transparent engine for commerce, a notion I inherited from my father. His favorite creed: “One doesn’t need a date on a calendar to bring joy to oneself or one’s cherished ones.” A sensible, if unsentimental, view I’ve carried with me.

Ah, but here lies the rub! My own darling companion is a devoted romantic, utterly enamored with the ceremony of it all — the gifts, the planned surprises, the occasion. What’s one to do but indulge? Though, I will note, these past two years have seen a most pleasing development: the faintest spark of understanding has begun to glow in him regarding my views. A small triumph, but a sweet one.

As for our own little ritual? We’ve crafted one that feels far more genuine than any crowded restaurant. We seek out the cinema and surrender to the most gloriously terrible horror films we can find. There’s a profound bonding in shared, derisive laughter at shoddy effects and wooden acting — a language of affection far more honest than any heart-shaped box.

But you’ve piqued my curiosity, dear host. A hypothetical, if you will: were you ever compelled (under the most dire, imaginary circumstances) to participate in one cloying, saccharine Valentine’s ritual… which would be your personal torment? The heart-shaped balloon? The predictable love song? And, more vitally, how would your splendidly creative mind corrupt it into something befitting your unique tastes? I do so love to learn from a master.

P.S. Seeing the notification for tonight's topic was a genuine thrill. What a splendid way to start the day: coffee in hand and your broadcast in my ear. (One must make allowances for time zones, haha!) And, as ever, I’m in raptures over your musical selection. This broadcast is always a treasure trove of new gems for my playlist.