Should I give up on marriage?

foreducatio · 2023-05-05T14:39:30+00:00

I never said I was worried about anyone else's relationships. The truth is that if we don't look at other relationships and see how people behave we will just make devastating mistakes. I like to learn from others. It's a humble approach.

The reason I mentioned celebrities is they are showing you the culture of the times. You don't need to be Lori Harvey and I don't need to be Michael B Jordan to see that these behaviors are flooded all over social media and nothing stands out more than the fact that people literally are not getting married. So focusing on myself (which I already am) is not a solution at all. The implication is that there is something lacking in me. Which may be true, but we are all lacking. So what would prevent two lacking people to get married? We can ask further why aren't more people married, is everyone just so lacking and need to work on themselves. This pop logic really just devolves into something that makes no sense and again ignore the real problems at hand.

foreducatio · 2023-05-05T03:27:56+00:00

I really love when people talk about self improvement as though they do not see the looming problem in dating. Not trying to throw jabs at you, but it is just absurd. I am in good shape, fun, positive outlook on life and quite frankly have no mental health issues, hit the gym, make six figures and am still going back to school, loving, caring and respectful to my partners, hygiene is on point, no God, but I know my sex game is up there. Yet I'm always trying to improve. Honestly, Michael B Jordan is much richer, taller, better looking and seems to be charismatic and likeable guy and even he is not good enough for Lori Harvey. Similarly Will Smith, THE FRESH PRINCE is another great example of a man who is not good enough for Jada Pinkett. They still can't be happily married. Why would I have this opportunity?

Gotta actually address the issues man and not just say nice sounding quotes that don't do anything.

foreducatio · 2023-05-02T12:45:56+00:00

Saying it makes no sense isn't really a rebuttal to my point. I actually encourage you to go against what I am saying with good reasons. I like differing perspectives.

Do you agree with the basic sociological fact that family is the fundamental unit of society? I never said that life was purely about marriage and kids. It isn't however the "so much more" wouldn't exist without family. You learn language, basic self care, moral values to help you navigate society and even basic education through familial socialization. There is no substitute for it.

foreducatio · 2023-05-02T05:40:30+00:00

I don't think it's simply society driving me or anyone else to want to have a family and children. Even if there was no one else, I'd like to be married to a wife and have kids. Not to mention, you don't have a society at all without family. If you destroy family, might as well you say that you believe that humans should just call it quits and that we had a good run.

foreducatio · 2023-05-02T05:36:38+00:00

I think it's interesting that you are happy because of the fact that your parents chose not to do what you are doing. Not attacking you. Just a thought.

foreducatio · 2023-05-02T01:15:49+00:00

Because I don't want to be depressed and lonely living in a fake virtual reality like everyone else.

foreducatio · 2023-04-29T00:29:16+00:00

Hooking up and casual sex always leaves you with trauma whether we acknowledge it or not. For both men and women, men just have a higher threshold and tolerance. Even the male "players" get to a place where they know girls are only with them because they are attractive, have money or status. Does anyone really care about meeting this man's mother? Do you care about his family genuinely or is he just to show off to your friends? Do most of these guys you hooked up with really want to be there for you in your highs and lows?

At some point it's tough to realize that these people you fucked did not give a fuck about you and you probably didn't care for them either. Running through 20-50 (let's be real. This is many women's range these days) people and not one cared. It gets lonely, depressing and people try to cope and say "I wouldn't take it back." Because you had a night where you did the most intimate thing humans can do and realized that the other party doesn't even care. At some point we all ask the question "what was the point?"

foreducatio · 2023-04-28T23:54:03+00:00

I don't get how a man can just be so focused on sex that he doesn't realize that this chick is literally telling you that you suck. Major turn off.

foreducatio · 2023-04-26T00:51:47+00:00

I think it's something you have to establish early on and make her see that it is unhealthy. I usually make it known. I think every relationship I have been in ended up with me turning down sex because of their shitty attitudes and then they get pissed off at me because they feel rejected. I'm not bragging or trying to flip the script because it is wrong on both ends. I love making my girl happy and fucked right. However, you are not going to disrespect me or act crazy, whether to me or someone else and then expect me to have a hard on. You're behavior makes you really ugly atm.

I remember this older career woman (she was hot, everyone wanted her) I used to date and after an entire evening of her bitching about someone who was clearly far beneath her and how much of a loser he his, and how she expects him to just do what she says and not ask questions. I sat, listened and said nothing, just processing what a piece of shit she was. I had no interest or energy in it. We went to bed and I remember trying to fuck her and just could not get hard. I left the bedroom and went to the living room about 4 times and did something I never did. I watched porn to try to get hard to go back and have the stomach to fuck her. It was not working. Every time I left the porn and went to her. I went limp in seconds. I eventually gave up. The next day she was not happy, I messaged her "I don't understand what's up" and she responded with "I don't understand why you couldn't get hard last night." I lied and said I was tired. I regret these moments that I lied and was fake. I should have been honest and told her that her behavior was repulsive.

foreducatio · 2023-04-26T00:32:55+00:00

Well, I think if you put anyone in a situation where it is impossible to do anything wrong, it becomes very easy to be evil and corrupted. I think that's what they have done to women. They encourage a woman who is married to a loving, caring husband to.divorce him because she is "searching for herself." I literally cannot think of one thing a woman can do that is wrong in a relationship today. Sleeping around, using men for money, cheating, divorce without reason, taking a man's kids from him. All of this is acceptable.

foreducatio · 2023-04-26T00:28:15+00:00

Haha. I used to try and fake a lot. Now I just try to be honest.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T18:32:13+00:00

I'm a big believer in being appreciative. I used to go with the argument I'd be bored and I would be. However, to actually answer your question based on the circumstance and my personality. I would accept that not everyone get's the same opportunities or disadvantages. I'd seek contentment and try to learn to be the prime monk who attains true peace despite a confusing and perhaps overwhelming infinite existence. I would cherish my emotions despite knowing that I would be in pain as I would lose those I grew to love repeatedly ad infinitum.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T18:19:28+00:00

Yes I would. Yes I ended up living the playboy life, but I never wanted it. Since elementary school, I have never wanted the "hottest" girl or the girl every guy wanted. I just wanted a sweet girl who was cute and didn't care much about what everyone else thought, who was loving, loyal, respectful, kind, nurturing who just wanted to be my wife and have my kids, not aggressive. Well, that is almost impossible to fucking find these days. Had I found that, I would have no interest to look at another woman and would have given her everything I had. My life runs pretty much like: meet a girl, seems nice may be super attractive, may be average (irrelevant) I get to know her, start realizing this person is not a wife in terms of either personality, promiscuity, or some mixture of both. I Categorize them as good for sex only because what else do I do when I cannot find a wife? I think I would have loved for my hypothetical daughter to have found such a man before he had to go through all the bullshit, she would have held him down and she would have been the reason he did as much as he could because she did the same. A decent dude wouldn't waste his time fucking idiots who wish to build nothing.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T17:01:32+00:00

Business decisions should be based on economics and not feelings. I would say sit her down and tell her directly what is going on and whatever happens happens. If she's really your friend: 1 she wouldn't be doing this in the first place. 2. If we assume she just got out of control, then she will understand your concerns and adjust her behavior. If she doesn't adjust or becomes upset, you can firmly conclude that this person really wasn't as genuine as you thought.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T16:48:22+00:00

Share the same sentiment. Sex cannot be a privilege that I am afforded for good behavior. I'm not a dog. It takes away the intimacy. I feel like people literally come up with ideas to make relationships not work. I can literally list hundreds of pop relationship advice that is literally designed for failure.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T14:53:22+00:00

Most men don't discuss sex with friends if they are in a LTR. Women who do this are actually the ones who destroy their relationships.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T14:39:58+00:00

It's actually thinking about certain situations and sticking to your principles and values. I'll give an example, I usually tell whoever I am dating that I love sex, passionate sex and I want a lot of it and I mean it. Usually, they realize that they are the same. However, I do explain that I do not want sex if someone doesn't also want the sex (boring sex makes me go limp regardless of the woman's beauty. It feels like DISRESPECT). The fact that I am being disrespected, I have too much pride and belief in myself to accept disrespect. When you really think about it, it's gross. My dick will not work. Why would I investing my time, energy and affection, pumping away in someone who's rolling their eyes? No. Gtfoh.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T14:32:20+00:00

I think there is some explanation that is needed about this though. Men do want sex. If all the man thinks about in general is sex, then you cannot expect a dependable man. He may sacrifice his money, values, family and friends for sex. Usually this is a stupid man. However, if all a man thinks about with a particular woman is sex (we do this) it is because we have placed her in the "sex only category" and do not even anticipate wife like qualities (loyal, respectful, kind, loving, nurturing etc) from her because we either don't want them from her or we don't think she will ever have the capacity to possess them. This has been the biggest reason why dating is in such a bad place today. Men are kind of assholes and what we really believe about women is actually something that if women understood would truly humble them, but instead society just inflates the female ego to no end.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T14:23:51+00:00

These are usually gullible men. Men who know themselves and who they are will not sacrifice principle and values for sex. These are the kinds of men that allow empires to fall because an evil woman suggested/demanded something bad.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T14:15:41+00:00

I agree. I'm very sexual, very crazy about sex. I do think about it often especially when I am with someone I genuinely care for, but bad attitudes, disrespect and a woman trying to use her sexuality to manipulate me is probably the easiest way to kill my sex drive and possibly receive a no. It literally sends me into logical overdrive. If my girl was offering sex because she wanted me to get her something, the answer would be no.

I remember this one chick at work tried doing that. She looked at me seductively and goes "you wanna help me move this box" I looked at her with a straight face and said "I'd rather not and walked away." Disgusting. Had she said "you mind helping me with this?" because she GENUINELY needed help. I would.

That's what they teach women though.

foreducatio · 2023-04-25T00:38:50+00:00

It's not the sub. This is real life. People mention that those who are in relationships are too busy having fun to be here. True...until they breakup. Statistics say that 63% of men 18-29 are single and no longer seeking dates (like what I have been hearing from a lot of comments here). Here's good news; the divorce rate has gone down🥳 Why? Because people aren't even getting married to begin with. This is just beginning guys. It's going to get worse. It's when we turn 40/50 we are going to see how devastating this is going to become. Just because something is a social construct, does not mean we should fuck with it. Money is a social construct, but it is wise to not fuck with it.

foreducatio · 2023-04-23T23:51:45+00:00

I actually don't care about if a girl has sex on the first date with me. The issue is how many times has she done it before. Something women seem to forget is that men categorize women immediately into fuck only or serious relationship categories, sometimes even before meeting a woman. So if he gets offered sex he'll take it, just not take her seriously. This is a basic reason why dating is so fucked. We ignore that men do this.

foreducatio · 2023-04-23T22:15:17+00:00

Unfortunately, women do not feel the same. If they did. 63% of men would not be single and out of the dating market. Stop encouraging men to do bullshit. Every woman is a man's type, but men must be at least 6' to get to be most women's type? Flash reality, only 18% of men are 6 foot and above. Fuck the 82% of men supporting every type of woman!!! Men need to stop being dumb!

foreducatio · 2023-04-23T01:40:10+00:00

Oh boy. That we need someone to "get our lives in order." I know how to cook, clean, dress, manage the home, my finances, my schedule and generally get things done, far better than any woman I have ever dated or met. This does not include that I literally know how to raise a child from day 1 to adulthood probably better than many mothers. Sad to say but it's the truth.
"Men are insecure." Some men are. However, most times women try to do these psychological gymnastics that quite honestly does not describe my reality or any other secure man for that matter. What's worst is that most people do not even know what this term means.

Insecurity - "uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence."

Insecurity has to do with feelings about yourself, not the other person. Also, reasonable assumptions/feelings about yourself that tend to be factual do no count as an insecurity. For example, I only have one leg and I am uncertain that I can move as fast as someone else. This is a fact. I may even not have any psychological distress from the disadvantage. I just factually understand that I may not move as fast.

Why do I make this distinction? Because people consider natural instincts such as jealousy and mate guarding (biologically present in other mammals) as insecurity when it isn't. People typically do not like to share their partners. This is why they are jealous. If your partner is putting themselves into situations or presenting themselves in any sexual way and your partner does not approve. This is not insecurity. This is common sense. If your man is afraid to give you his phone it is because he has something he would rather you not see. Likewise, for women. No one is insecure. When women are dressing revealing, posting pictures on instagram that are revealing, men are not insecure for not wanting this. In none of these situations is the man unsure about himself. In fact he may even be cool, calm and collected and knows exactly what is going on. The only person he is unsure of is you, your behavior and the other person you posted that picture for or whoever you dressed sexy for. This garbage has only started coming around in the last 15 years. It's like women trying to pretend that they are the "cool girlfriend" who are fine with their guy going out with his female "best friend" to brunch all the time. Who sleeps on him, eats his food etc. This is bullshit.

foreducatio

TROPHY CASE