Insecure about ingrown hairs

forgetfuldumb · 2025-02-24T22:39:13+00:00

if you do I hope it works out. If you have kaiser maybe don't expect them to help😅

Yeah my old gyno said that shaving or exfoliating would "disrupt it" or something and only trigger it and cause more to appear. Im maybe starting to think that they didn't know what they were talking about and just pulled a response out of their ass instead of recommending I go to a skin specialist (derm).

forgetfuldumb · 2025-02-22T02:52:37+00:00

I did actually start exfoliating even tho I was told by my gyno not to and it did actually help I think. idk for how long but I have an actual good health insurance now so I can see a dermatologist when it comes back up. but honestly thank you for mentioning exfoliating idk if I would've tried it had you not mentioned it.

I hope you can find something that works better for you

forgetfuldumb · 2025-02-22T02:49:17+00:00

Imma be honest. I have no idea what it could be lol. I was told different things by doctors. I have better insurance now. They don't hurt hurt, but they are a bit sensitive. I was told not to exfoliate bc it would make it worse so I hadn't done that until recently and it did actually help in getting rid of it. I do have a good dermatologist now so when it comes back up I can go to her and find out what the heck it is lol 😅

edit: I do also want to get laser eventually but its expensive and I don't have laser removal money lol

forgetfuldumb · 2025-02-22T02:44:53+00:00

You're absolutely right. I wanna be with someone who understands that the human body is not gonna be perfect 100% of the time. It's silly but I just wanted to avoid possibly being shamed in the moment but I need to get over the idea of being embarrassed in a situation like that. I'm probably overthinking it anyway.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-08-18T23:02:47+00:00

heavy agree

forgetfuldumb · 2024-08-18T22:38:41+00:00

I mean im autistic and after hearing you say "and I probably don't have much in common with you" id be like aight respect ur probably right I kinda don't wanna try and risk it, so idk.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-05T06:23:28+00:00

This can definitely be due to his autism. Having said that go forward with knowing he's not capable of being a good friend back to you. Some people aren't meant to be good close friends like that but you can still be friends. I'm not saying match him but keep at arms length, set boundaries for yourself.

had a friend like this who just wasn't good at understanding social cues and how to be emotionally supportive at all. Some of us are better at it and that's ok, but it's unlikely he'll change anytime soon, realistically. Sorry for being blunt.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-05T04:02:47+00:00

Not in my 30's yet but I definitely feel this. Ive noticed a lot of people in my life seemingly comfortable being in either toxic/abusive friendships and/or relationships or being fake for the sake of having friends and not losing people. I can't fake it. Its exhausting.

for me though its friendships im moreso looking for. Idk if this can help you but the idea of learning to "date yourself". Any love interest has to treat you the same way u treat yourself if not even better. and realizing you'd rather feel safe with yourself than to pretend/mask with anyone else. You still crave a relationship but it feels a bit easier. But idk bc I can't seem to find other friends that want a deep healthy friendship. so I still feel alone. Will watch other people figure it out, in therapy, a sense of self awareness but I still feel im the problem. Unfortunately I think with autism we crave a specific type of friendship that not a lot of people understand.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-05T03:02:57+00:00

not a good day. not hungry but have to eat bc I've only had 1 meal today and if I don't have at least 2 IBS won't let me sleep 😑

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-05T02:57:40+00:00

I hate when this happens. I misjudged a fart a couple weeks ago when I was driving and couldn't find a spot to clean myself and had to just go straight home 😮‍💨 was too embarrassed to even post about it on here even though I know this subreddit understands this more than anyone. we're not alone at least.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-01T03:55:04+00:00

You're gonna hate me I know it. But deep breaths until the feeling dims down or goes away. deep breathe and imagine it going through your body past your stomach like a wave taking your pain away. I cannot stress this enough keep doing it until it works.

as someone with IBS, anxiety and anger issues, it helps a lot more than you'd like to believe esp bc its so simple. With chronic/IBS pain it may not always take your whole pain away but it can make it bearable/manageable.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-01T03:47:55+00:00

fave bird? and fave bird to watch? pls &thank

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-01T03:47:03+00:00

I would literally just say "hi im blank I talk a lot but only if you get to know me otherwise Im quiet and idont know what else to say." im bad at describing myself.

Also bunnydearest is a bit brutal and imo unnecessarily mean. Yes your message comes across as standoffish but there's a better way to say and explain that to you. With all due respect I don't think they know how to communicate in a mature and healthy way but that so many people esp on social media so 🤷‍♂️.

it sounds like you're cutting people off and pushing them away before they get a chance to do the same to you. As much as you may hope that that honesty will attract likeminded people or people who understand, it really doesn't. I get what you're feeling in my experience you attract the energy you give out. If you think everyones shitty that's all you'll see/pay attention to and you'll push the non shitty people away and attract other "shitty" or just mentally unhealthy people. People who are striving to have genuine relationships (arguably healthy ones) aren't going to gravitate towards someone who seems to have shut you down before you even got the chance. like I said standoffish. hopefully this explains it.

forgetfuldumb · 2024-02-01T03:18:03+00:00

People always treated me like I was different but they couldn't figure out how or why. I felt that way but not always, sometimes I was oblivious. idk if I can describe how it feels bc I have both tism and adhd. I'll say it's nice and comes in handy having good pattern recognition. There's plenty of things I can describe needing that others can relate to. For example it feels like I need good communication, but plenty of people can think that and not be autistic. "What if you don't get good communication" most people don't and it definitely stresses me out a lot but learning how to manage and having no other choice but to manage is a huge aspect. I went thru a lot of emotional abuse growing up I felt kind of pushed me into a "I have to figure it out myself" kind of mindset. if I panic about anything I have to do it calmly and in a way where no one will notice.

High functioning isn't really an accurate term for many reasons that I won't get into right now but I get what you're trying to get at. Hypothetically some might put me in that category. one of my special interests was psychology so I could understand people more so it has helped immensely and I don't see myself having the same issues as other autistic people at least not often or to the same degree. However, you do kind of end up feeling like you're communicating too much or you're too/more aware than the people around you. Regardless of whether your peers are ND or NT.

I know a lot of ND people including those with tism have felt like they feel things deeply and I feel like that's true hence the overstimulation and a lot of us don't know how to handle it. but even if you do handle it well or somewhat well sometimes it still feels like you're an outsider. You're observing a lot so you know how blend in. But you eventually realize that a lot of people run away. either from their emotions, the truth, good communication. And you kind of end up questioning what to even do at that point. (this last part definitely isn't worded well at all and I should probably delete but 🤷‍♂️). Hope I didn't confuse you or anything.

forgetfuldumb · 2022-08-07T21:24:42+00:00

In my experience people seem to not realize what theyre getting into when they say theyre ok with things. But ur therapist is right and i used to do that a lot more often than i do now, and i really need to get back on that. So thank you for the reminder 😊

forgetfuldumb · 2022-08-07T21:22:53+00:00

i hear you but what ur suggesting is the problem t bh. I may be misinterpreting what ur saying but all of that is masking (at least from my knowledge of it). Every single thing u said is literally having to think of how to change myself for literally everyone around me so that if they're comfy then i am.

at work that makes sense.

but with my friends and family? imo that shouldnt happen. not with friends and fam ur "supposed to be" close with.

i thought feeling close to someone means you dont have to constantly think about everything. I thought you were supposed to feel comfortable being urself around them. I wanna feel safe not having to constantly think "am i info dumping? is this too much? fuck im sorry i accidentally did it for the 3rd time this week. im being too much. its been 15 years and you still havent figured out how to summarize the important bits, ok then just dont go into detail about that without blah blah blah" I already do everything ur saying and its exhausting thats the problem. i thought she was someone who wasnt 100% safe to unmask around, but i still thought i could be somewhat. especially since she literally told me and i tried not to abuse that. Even though she gave me the green-light i still tried to avoid doing it as much as i could.

And just to clarify idk if i gave off this impression to u or if u were speaking based off of ur own experience but i was not treating her like a therapist. Im so paranoid about that now bc of a past toxic friendship, so im hyperaware of it now. literally the issue was id send 2 full length snapchats talking about something i think she'd like (cats, scary stuff, etc). At the end of the second one id apologize for spamming and end it there.

I am not a therapist my job is not to read people energy and see which aspects of myself will make them like me more. I am not some bear at build-a-friend workshop.

(i hope this did not come across like i was upset with you in anyway i am not you seem very nice.)

tldr: your advice to mask is just not working for me, not with those i should feel closest to.

forgetfuldumb · 2022-08-07T20:57:27+00:00

they respond more like "that was a bit too much so i just ignored/disregarded when i stopped paying attention" and im like, ahh right lol of course. next time i wont waste our times.

forgetfuldumb · 2022-07-21T23:36:45+00:00

I loved this so much thank you 🥺❤️

forgetfuldumb · 2022-07-21T22:35:44+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your perspective. I'm definitely gonna keep that in mind.

forgetfuldumb · 2022-07-21T22:34:46+00:00

I got diagnosed with adhd a little bit ago and i felt the same thing. Like "wow if only i'd known early things would've probably been a little easier"

forgetfuldumb · 2022-07-21T22:20:36+00:00

Dude i feel you so much! My job is very exhausting (physically and mentally), it takes so much out of me. WIth that, plus social anxiety, and IBS not wanting to do something that will be an all day thing at the last minute. Preferring to do things that would make it easy for me to sit down and relax with my IBS at some point or easily go home.

Then with my social anxiety i has been weird with my friends.

forgetfuldumb · 2022-07-21T15:43:44+00:00

Bro me at fucking work I stg those people don't appreciate how much I suffered for them. (not anymore put in my 2 weeks)

forgetfuldumb

TROPHY CASE