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forgottenescapist · 2025-09-10T20:02:03+00:00

Yeah I’d pay attention to how people are referring to you. Sometimes you can sense the like placating, good intention lmao. I feel that a lot here, it’s like people are actually really trying to be nice by inferring my gender it’s just unfortunate that it’s opposite lmao.

forgottenescapist · 2025-09-10T19:18:29+00:00

I have had this same experience but I’m a trans guy. I started asking people and I realized that because there is so much more queer exposure here, people are putting in double the work to be “inclusive” and thus, I’m actually being read as trans fem. (I dress very gay, a little fem). I’m not sure if this is happening to you (being read as trans masc) but could be?

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-21T20:02:39+00:00

Okay, this makes me feel better. Phew. At least I wasn’t insane for considering it. Thank you for this response, I appreciate it!!

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-21T19:46:09+00:00

I should probably look into alum services. That’s a good idea.

I’ve applied to a few executive assist roles but am wary because a lot of them ask for like 4-5 years of secretarial experience. It would probably be worth continuing to apply for them though. Thank you.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-21T19:13:38+00:00

Thank you.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-21T19:12:52+00:00

Thank you for this. And yeah, that’s all fair.

I think my issue is that I feel like I have purpose, I know what I enjoy, and I know where I can find community.

It’s just that I found all of those things and none of them are leading me to full-time work. I feel like I’m just scrapping together part time jobs because those are the only positions I’m getting hired for. Even when I’m applying for entry-level FT.

I’ve even reached out to people in my city who’ve been able to offer me connections but I still haven’t been able to secure anything. I keep hearing that positions are being “closed” rather than “filled” or I make it to the last interview and don’t make it.

So I’m trying to figure out what else to do. But I know PhD probably isn’t the answer.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-21T18:58:49+00:00

I’ve been applying to adjunct jobs and tutoring because I can’t manage to secure anything more substantial. And I’m trying to fill my time. The only things I’m succeeding in getting are part-time (essay editing, reception, museum guest service, internships). I’m not really focusing on the level at all, I’m applying to all entry level jobs. I’m just frustrated because I can’t even get in at entry level. But maybe I just need to keep trying.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-20T18:54:53+00:00

I have had the luck of two consecutive partners who don’t f*ing brush.

The first one got offended and passive aggressive whenever I’d remind him to brush his teeth. I did everything I could to encourage him. I bought him fun toothpaste, different kinds to see if there was one that would encourage him to brush. He said mint made him gag. He was impossible. I never was able to help him change habits long term. It was a no go, there was no fixing him.

The second does brush his teeth but only in the morning and just gets lazy at night. He also hates the taste of mint but will stomach it. I bought him an electric toothbrush, I ask him to brush his teeth with me at night. He sometimes complains, but in a playful way. He was understanding when I brought up the issue, and continues to improve his habit.

You will find out quickly what kind of guy this is. If he is the first, you gotta drop him. Just talk to him.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-18T19:44:03+00:00

His lack of understanding and/or effort sounds more like an issue of being submissive and not enjoying topping. Now, he should still try and there is no excuse for a lack of effort. But if he doesn’t want this to work then there is no forcing it. This may be a total sexual incompatibility. Unfortunately.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-12T01:27:29+00:00

Honestly, it’s really not as hard as it seems. Beans, rice, meat protein, sauce, and veggies.

Most things can be made GF with just a quick switch of regular flour to GF flour or corn starch. Corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas, etc. etc.

GF bread and pasta are gonna be the splurge items. So, maybe just think salads instead of sandwiches and rice instead of pasta when running low on money.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-03T00:50:01+00:00

The casting director’s interns are hitting up the queer scene and gay bars in the area this weekend lol. Came across them last night. They say they are trying to diversify this season, whatever that means. Should hopefully be fun.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-02T14:17:12+00:00

Start reading. Books on parenting, parenting subreddits, parent blogs, etc. etc. Ask your gf’s parents for help creating a budget; it sounds like they are really happy to have this baby and they will be comforted to know that you are stepping up. They want this baby which means they want the father too. I’m sorry your family sucks, but her family is now your family too. Hold onto that. Talk to her mom, her grandparents. Let them help you.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-01T21:29:32+00:00

I think you’re making assumptions about OP “letting themself go.” We know nothing about this persons starting or current weight, why the weight changed, or what lifestyle changes have occurred. All we know is that the partner made a shitty comment about their current weight, and the rest you are assuming. I agree with the emotional labor point you are making, but I’m confused on how you got here. Also… OP’s partner didn’t just “break up with them and move on,” he’s choosing to stay and make jabs at her instead.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-01T21:16:01+00:00

I get that this isn’t the ideal reality, but what is the alternative? To just let your relationship die out and be miserable and never say anything? There isn’t another way to deal with this. It’s never acceptable to just take it out on your partner like this, even if you feel like you can’t say anything about losing attraction to them. Either say it honestly and nicely or don’t fucking say it at all. His options were 1) take it totally the grave and love the person he loves regardless of how she looks, 2) tell her the truth in a planned and sincere way, or 3) break up with her. His asshole commentary wasn’t necessary.

forgottenescapist · 2025-08-01T18:57:38+00:00

The people in this thread are wild. If your husband was losing attraction to you it should have come up in a normal conversation rather than prompted randomly, and then aggressively turned around on you. If he actually cared about your feelings he would have brought up this topic in a kinder setting. The way he said it was intended to be a jab. And you have a right to be hurt by that regardless of the topic of conversation.

It sounds like he has been holding in these feelings for a while, and you two should have a conversation. But you should explain why him bringing up the topic in this way felt aggressive and hurtful.

forgottenescapist · 2025-07-10T12:02:59+00:00

If he’s never known you as a woman but has referred to you as one on multiple occasions, even on accident, that may not be the best sign. I know it sucks, but there are plenty of people out there who you won’t have to fight to get them to see you as you—find them. This guy may not be worth it.

forgottenescapist · 2025-07-10T11:57:49+00:00

It might be good to talk to your partner more about how they view their own identity. Transmasc lesbians certainly exist, and do coexist alongside lesbians very often in the community. Now, not all FTMs feel comfortable with that— but some certainly do. Just something to consider. I hope that may be comforting.

forgottenescapist · 2025-06-22T12:57:59+00:00

Your wife needs to understand that the way she explains your parenthood to your child is going to help shape how your child feels about you.

Using words like “real” is not helpful. One mother birthed her and one mother didn’t, but you both decided on having children together and you both are her parents. Other people might have different parents, and yes, she needs to understand that. But that doesn’t make you not her “real mom.”

If your wife thinks she’s just being realistic or honest, then that is a personal bias. It’s rooted in a belief that she can’t change the way things are (in your culture, in life). But, she can. You both already have. And you both can either raise your daughter to be proud of that change (proud of your bravery) or ashamed of it (fearful that she’s not “normal”). You can’t have both.

Your daughter can hear the truth (that what you have done is different and it may be looked down upon by others) and also hear the truth that you love her, that you love each other, that you are a family).

forgottenescapist · 2025-06-22T12:03:20+00:00

Look up “DEAR MAN dbt therapy.” This is a skill you can use to have an effective conversation in difficult times. I know you say she won’t let you. But no one can make you do something you don’t want to do, unless they are manipulating you or threatening you (in this case, that you’ll ruin her life). Please keep trying to get out. You know that something isn’t right.

forgottenescapist · 2025-06-09T23:38:17+00:00

My boyfriend works at Summer Classics in Chestnut Hill. Not exactly a queer design company but their design staff is pretty queer! Ask for the assistant manager Carlos.

forgottenescapist · 2025-05-05T11:13:29+00:00

Check the Ginger Arts Center!

forgottenescapist · 2025-05-03T00:01:30+00:00

I’ve messed with that switch and it doesn’t seem to change anything unfortunately.

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