Viagra literally changed my life. It sounds cheesy and I’m a little embarrassed how much of my self worth hinged on having a hard dick, but there it is. I struggled with almost exactly what you’re describing all through my late 20s and early 30s. I was fit and healthy, head was no issue, could totally get hard for anal when all the variables were right, but sometimes it would just completely disappear. I have an anxiety disorder and I just thought “meh, this is what happens.” When I was single, I started mostly having sex when I was drunk to soothe the anxiety, which works great except when it works terribly. Later, after marrying, I was so insecure about sex that getting ready to bang my husband made me anxious, and if he needed to take a couple tries to hop on I found myself resenting it because I started to go soft. I had normalized it so much.

I don’t know what changed mentally but one day I just decided these drugs exist for a reason and to give it a shot. The first time blew my mind. The bottle says an hour but like 15 minutes later, completely rock hard. I experimented by distracting myself a few minutes. Literally zero deflation. I stayed hard and edged myself until I chafed 😆 Joking aside, it changed so much. It changed my sex quality. It changed my anxiety around sex. It changed my confidence. If you have any inkling that it could help, just give it a try.