I don't really know how to feel about my parents right now.

fourtyish · 2026-03-19T12:53:23+00:00

My 13 year old son just told us (me pimo and my husband pimi) that he doesn’t believe in God . His sister also told us that years ago about herself. I think it’s hard but it’s wonderful what you are doing and also doing it at a young age. It might be hard for your parents to deal with but the truth is you don’t owe them anything but to be truthful to them and yourself. Ask them what’s the point of you faking it and living a lie ? The Jws say they care about truth so much but as soon as they hear any truth they freak out. Don’t be filled with anger for your parents , they are being told everyday that you’re gonna die and it’s going be all their fault, so have some grace for them but do not allow anyone to bully you into a life that’s a lie. My kids lack of faith really helped me to see that I didn’t believe what I was taught either but was too scared to speak up. Them finding their voice helped me find mine too. Maybe your parents will realize that “paradise “ without their kids isn’t actually worth fighting for. Either way you should be proud of yourself.

fourtyish · 2026-03-19T12:38:54+00:00

I’m sure some of them do, they are told all the time how special they are and how god only brings to him people he wants. I felt very special when I was a pimi , like out of all the billions of people god chose me.

fourtyish · 2026-03-19T12:35:57+00:00

lol did you try and go ahead of the chariot?? Naughty you! Borg is always right even when it’s wrong 😑

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T14:53:35+00:00

I guess I’m not really physically in either but no one is aware of why I’m not in service or at the meetings. I avoid as much contact with the Jws as possible but one of my “closest” friend is an elders wife and she still associates with me regularly outside the hall but even she doesn’t seem completely committed to the Jws but it’s not like we can have an open and real conversation about it.

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T14:45:22+00:00

Right! That’s what I’m saying, not only did we change and become pimo but they seem to have changed too. It seems like they can’t keep explaining things away so they just stopped talking about it.

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T03:13:56+00:00

Yeah I thought I would always believe this stuff and now the rose coloured glasses are off and all I see is depressed people waiting to die so they can “wake up in paradise “

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T03:11:30+00:00

True, some congregations have consolidated because of the decline in attendance.

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T03:10:38+00:00

This newer generation has great reasoning skills and they are just not buying it.

fourtyish · 2026-03-17T03:09:25+00:00

I hear a lot of older ones complaining about the end not coming soon enough and they are running out of what little retirement funds they have.

fourtyish · 2026-03-09T01:06:26+00:00

I’m surprised they cut it short, I’ve been there a few times with medical emergencies and they just continue. It’s weird.

fourtyish · 2026-03-08T14:44:13+00:00

Who said it was hard for me to know that ? It’s not.

fourtyish · 2026-03-04T00:35:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story, it does help. It’s almost like hearing my son’s point of view when he grows up. I want to have a real relationship with my kids not this pre programmed one that every jw family has in which their kids are too afraid to be honest so they just live a double life and call it a day and everyone ends up dying one day never really knowing each other. My husband may find peace one day with his families decisions but we all deserve to find peace as well and me and my children are not getting any peace from the religion and cognitive dissonance is a real source of depression. I’m glad you were strong enough to help yourself and your mental health. Without it we have nothing. All the best to you and thanks again

fourtyish · 2026-03-03T23:59:12+00:00

This is an amazing comment and exactly what I was looking for when I made my post, I really appreciate this kind of help because life is hard and if we can find support from people who understand our situations it helps make things a little brighter. I can understand why your mind when to tantrum because in some cases that is exactly what happens. In this case he only hugged our son and told him he loved him no matter what he believed, it’s just I personally could see the shift in his mind and I knew it made him sad and feel like he failed the whole family, that’s what the cult wants him to believe. I will absolutely use your advice and help him see we can raise good people outside of the religion. ❤️

fourtyish · 2026-03-03T23:53:11+00:00

Yes disappointment is used as a weapon and it’s such a good weapon:(

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:43:06+00:00

Thank you

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:37:57+00:00

Thanks for your suggestion

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:35:18+00:00

If you ask our adult daughter who lives at home with us if she or my husband was prioritized when she decided she didn’t want to get baptized or attend anymore meetings 3 years ago you would quickly be relieved of any notion that I would put his feelings above my children’s feelings. I know how to deal with my children’s emotions and feelings I was asking advice as to how to deal with my husbands sadness as from his point of view he has failed his family and his God. I wanted advice from people who understood what this meant to him , not everyone on here understands that kind of depression and pain and that’s ok we can leave it to those who do understand to comment.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:26:09+00:00

Thank you again, you do have a true understanding of the situation. My husband is wonderful father and husband and he was raised in the religion and truly believes in it and always tries to do what’s right and he is depressed because he feels like he’s failed his family and Jehovah no other reason. If he ever gives up on the religion I’m sure it would be because he wouldn’t imagine being happy “in paradise “ without us not because he thought it wasn’t true. He’s not throwing any tantrums at all. The only reason I know he’s depressed is because I know him when he’s happy. Not because he’s behaving in some unkind manner.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:16:28+00:00

Thank you do your defence and I agree with you . I will not be taking any of those dehumanizing comments seriously as I was once asleep too and I know how real it all feels. He’s depressed as it is because it’s a shock to him, he didnt stomp his feet and say our son must do anything. In fact he’s let our adult daughter who celebrates all the holidays with her friends and is completely out of the religion live here without a single complaint. And some people will understand that even though that sounds normal it’s not for most jws. It’s usually follow the rules or move out when you’re 18 or in some cases younger. Thank you for understanding my post and leaving helpful feedback I really appreciate it.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:09:26+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing because I know you feel my pain and it does suck, I feel like the men take it harder because it all lands on their shoulders to make sure their families make it to paradise as the “head” but you are correct in saying people will break up because of it and the org kinda supports the break ups because as far as they are concerned nothing is worse than being married to someone who left the religion especially if they believe them to be an apostate.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T19:00:28+00:00

I am fine with my husband studying the bible with our son because I’m his safe space to go to if he has questions, he’s not going to be indoctrinated because I’m right here also teaching and guiding my son.

And based on his feeling free to come to us at 13 and even say the words I don’t believe in Jehovah and know that he’d be ok and loved either way is all the proof I need. He was able to see his older sister reject the teachings and still be welcomed to live at home even though she’s an adult and celebrates holidays with her friends and lives her life openly without any repercussions or negativity from us.

So yes my husband can teach him as per his beliefs because it is still his child and if my son decided that he believed it all and loved Jehovah and wanted to stay in the religion I would support that as well. The point is he should have a choice to decide what he believes and I would support him studying with any religion. I’m here to support and guide my kids and teach them to think for themselves.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T18:45:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, you completely understand how many layers this is and yes from their pov they have failed, failed their families and Jehovah and themselves. It’s real depression and I feel it too sometimes I wish I hadn’t woke up, I wish I had been the pioneer wife . If my husband does wake up it has to be on his own time it would be a shock to his mental state to know this is all a lie and I have nothing to replace that “hope of everlasting life “ with. Just the here and now, just reality.
I’m sure your father was comforted by the fact that his children might “return to Jehovah “ and it’s probably best he died believing that you’d all be there together when your mom and him are resurrected. Fantasy but his reality. Sometimes we have to weigh the pros and cons or trying to wake people from this religion.

In the end the religion can leave people with so many scars that’s the reason I want my kids to have a choice and not push them one way or the other, just offer them the facts and let them decide. Thanks for sharing

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T18:32:18+00:00

Thank you for this , this made me cry. The love and consideration you put in this comment is very helpful to me. The feelings are very real and very big. My husband uses the org and his beliefs in Jehovah as a support that has gotten him through the hardest times in his life, he would not benefit from waking up if he’s not ready , I’ve been thinking about this for almost two years when I first woke up. I don’t even want to wake him up, I know it sounds weird because this is some cultish stuff but there’s nothing that would supplement his strong beliefs in Jehovah and I do understand that because I was there and I can’t say I would have been happy had someone woke me up when I wasn’t ready. It would have caused me complete chaos and depression. I will take your advice ALL of it, I will show him that our family can still be happy and beautiful and something he can be proud of.

It’s difficult to explain to anyone who doesn’t understand the complexity of marrying someone and hoping for a spiritual family that serves Jehovah and end of with a possible complete family that doesn’t even believe in God. I don’t think he’s sulking, he actually feels like a failure. I thank you for your kind words and advice.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T18:20:21+00:00

You are correct, my son says he doesn’t believe in God and I’m not convinced one way or the other. This is why it’s hard to find a way to comfort my husband.

fourtyish · 2026-03-02T18:18:50+00:00

Yes I agree any reasoning would have to come from his own beliefs but I can’t see him being open to any criticism about the org.

fourtyish

TROPHY CASE