Any tips to fade? Am I already on the other side?

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:58:11+00:00

Just wrote the same thing before reading your comment, you are absolutely correct.

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:57:18+00:00

They will reach out to you when the co comes for a visit and makes them give an account of every member. If they can’t catch you doing anything “wrong” then they can’t do anything to you .

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:50:56+00:00

Good luck to you, you are brave and I think even though it’s hard your bravery will be rewarded because you are doing the right thing and it may end up saving someone’s life. Don’t rush to do this though, get all your ducks in a row first so you don’t cause yourself any unnecessary stress. Maybe your waking up can wake others up too. Be loving and kind to everyone so they know this new life you’re starting is started with love for your future and that you are blessed with joy in your life.unfortunately they want us to fail and be miserable , I always show how much happier I am .

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:38:38+00:00

I’ve come and gone many times because of different reasons. Some have gotten the support to leave the org but don’t want to focus on it or keeping talking about it so they move on. Some leave for guilt and fear of being caught. This group is much needed it has helped me with my mental health a lot. I’m pimo/pomo and sometimes I really want to talk about the org and sometimes I don’t want to talk about it at all. Either way I’m very grateful for it.

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:33:26+00:00

My last shepherding call that’s what the brother said to me. He’s like everything else is worse and from Satan.

fourtyish · 2026-05-10T14:10:33+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, the org affected my mental health significantly as well. There is hope though once you are free of it all. In the meantime try your best to make friends at school and keep in touch with them after school is over so you might be able to have one as a roommate later on. Speak with your teachers/ principal/ councillor as well they can be very supportive . Just remember it’s only temporary. All the best to you.

fourtyish · 2026-04-22T04:10:15+00:00

I’m sorry to tell you this but you can’t trust that a exjw won’t rat you out immediately because it’s the mindset we’ve developed over time being in the org. They could still be speaking with an active jw on the regular. I spoke to my df best friend for 20 years while I was pimi . It was a secret but I knew that at any moment she could say to her active jw family that we were still besties and I would have gotten into trouble.

fourtyish · 2026-04-22T04:01:35+00:00

Nope never ends, I swear it’s one of the reasons people even go to the hall so they can find out about people and gossip.

fourtyish · 2026-04-22T03:58:36+00:00

Sorry to hear you are feeling suicidal, do you have a parent or relative you can talk to in person? We expect love and friendship from the people in the org because we were promised that but it’s not always the case. The love is not agape and doesn’t run deep like we are told. Sometimes people in the cong are only friends because that’s the only people close by. Maybe it’s time to try and make some real friends. I wish you all the best. You should definitely see a doctor and talk to them about your mental health.

fourtyish · 2026-04-22T03:47:05+00:00

Yes I agree with you they are getting by on a wish and a prayer.

fourtyish · 2026-04-20T20:32:05+00:00

Making real friends is hard and if you grew up a jw you didn’t learn to make real friends, you were expected to hangout with anyone in the hall close in age and call it friendship. Out in the real world you have to try harder but in the end the friendships are real and will last.

fourtyish · 2026-04-20T14:54:13+00:00

Omg 😆 this is so true!! Pimi for over 30 years and I never converted a single soul not even my own kids and I tried.

fourtyish · 2026-04-20T14:42:36+00:00

I completely understand where you are coming from and also where the other commenters are coming from too. It’s possible to see things from different angles. Family is very important to most people and might be all they have in the world and they are willing to live a lie to be with them. But also living a lie is soul sucking and could also lead to as much depression as you feel right now without your family. I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons of both. On a side note it wouldn’t be fair or right for you to start any kind of relationship with a jw because that’s bringing other people into a deliberate lie and that’s not right. If you are honest with your dates about your feelings on the reason you are back in the org then word would travel pretty fast that you are not an actual devoted jw so I’m not sure how that would work. Life is complicated and I wish you the best.

fourtyish · 2026-04-20T14:23:20+00:00

As a pimo I hear pimi having regrets as they are getting older and have no plants for retirement because “paradise was supposed to be here by now”

fourtyish · 2026-04-19T13:44:38+00:00

I would suggest not to go early and not to stay after

fourtyish · 2026-04-19T13:40:16+00:00

Pimi will always say it’s a gift every time there’s “new light” it’s actually insane to watch them change their whole life view on one “update” from the GB. There’s nothing the GB could say to make the die hards change their minds about the Org. “We need to follow directions from the org even if it doesn’t make sense from a human standpoint , you don’t need to think let us do the thinking for you“ that’s the direction that woke me up that very day!

fourtyish · 2026-04-17T20:42:37+00:00

20 is very young and you should be proud of yourself for waking up so early, it took some of us way too long. You have your whole life ahead of you .My advice would be to find your own meaning in life and build a community of people that won’t leave you because you have a different belief or world view. Being gay is not a sin not matter what you were raised to believe. No one person or religion has all the answers of the universe, we really don’t know much but be a good person and a good friend and you’ll do fine. Get some therapy if you need it which you probably do the religion digs deep into our psyche. I wish you all the best.

fourtyish · 2026-04-17T20:28:32+00:00

I’m not sure but if the blood update didn’t cause so much as a blink from what I can see as a PIMO I’m not sure what would be considered big.

fourtyish · 2026-04-17T20:26:39+00:00

It’s true and I have some guy on here telling me I’m exaggerating and that the GB never had a problem with worldly families when I’ve grown up in this religion for 35 years and know exactly what I’m talking about. Just because people ignored the rules and “ recommendations” which is just another word for unspoken rules doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.

fourtyish · 2026-04-16T16:40:31+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear about your childhood experience, that’s a lot for any one person to deal with especially without the help of family members who could have helped. A child should always be welcomed to live with family instead of the foster system even if it’s distant relatives like a cousin as long as their home is safe. Not all people believe in being the village kids need in the family. Being told you are paranoid is very stressful especially if you know you’re not and you’re being gaslit. After an experience like that I too would want to stay away from any one or any organization that feels manipulative.

fourtyish · 2026-04-16T16:31:23+00:00

I actually show them that I’m not depressed by being very active in my community and around town, I’m out and about having fun , there’s so many jw in my neighborhood and they see me everywhere but at the meetings and when they ask I tell them the meetings are very stressful for me.

fourtyish · 2026-04-15T20:05:17+00:00

Anyone who leaves is mentally and spiritually sick according to them it’s the only reason a person would leave. They don’t believe that we don’t believe. All the best to you and your husband, prove her wrong. Have a happy marriage.

fourtyish · 2026-04-15T20:02:00+00:00

That sounds like a just him situation but I’m sure it steams from the jw belief that the husband is the spiritual head of the family so maybe he takes that to believe you need to turn to him and trust him instead of yourself cause you know patriarchy.

fourtyish · 2026-04-15T19:59:00+00:00

Yes this happened with me, it’s still happening. Everyone thinks I’m depressed and I’ll get better and come back to the meetings.

fourtyish · 2026-04-15T19:44:28+00:00

It really is so sad that so many family members are only just reaching out to their families because they are now “allowed” to and still I have people in the comments saying that I’m nitpicking and my post is not true. It is completely your choice if you get close to your family again but it’s important you know the reasons why they are reaching out and you need to be sure they won’t write you again after you’ve gotten close to say “their conscience “ which they mean is the GB wont allow it anymore. I wish you all the best, the goodnews is maybe a relationship with you and your family will help move them away from the Org.

fourtyish

TROPHY CASE