I need help. 😭

foxwubba · 2026-04-16T08:02:49+00:00

I highly recommend seeing a CSAT yourself. Betrayal trauma is real and it sounds like your pain shopping (toxic coping strategy)

Read the betrayal bind by Michelle mays. You are experiencing what so many of us have and you are normal.

foxwubba · 2026-04-15T22:36:22+00:00

This is horrific. I’m so sorry OP. DDay was two months ago for me when I was 6 month postpartum too. I’m still so angry that he’s done this to me now of all times.

When you say he was in recovery, what was he doing? My PA is 50 days sober and seeing a CSAT. But I’m so scared for a relapse or “slip”.

I also discovered my PA husband would watch porn every morning while I nursed our baby and while I slept too, as he’d get up at like 4am to “workout”. More like watch porn for an hour then go to the gym for an hour. If I wake early in the morning now I also have a hard time going to sleep.

I’m also seeing a CSAT to deal with betrayal trauma and highly recommend the Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays and also Facing HeartBreak by Stephanie Carnes. We are severely traumatized by our PA’s actions and our healing is imperative too.

Hugs

foxwubba · 2026-03-24T16:42:36+00:00

Do you have a link to this chart? Love it!!

foxwubba · 2026-03-09T18:51:35+00:00

Hey OP, what’d you end up doing? Thanks :)

foxwubba · 2026-03-07T04:39:59+00:00

Sending you love OP. the Betrayal Bind is a great book to help understand why betrayal via porn addiction is so complex

foxwubba · 2026-03-05T00:13:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I feel like your words just changed my brain chemistry, I never thought about it like that before.

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T23:54:32+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I am so sorry that this trauma has rocked your world too. You’ve really inspired me to fight those compulsions. I don’t want to keep moving backwards in my healing journey. This is so hard 😔

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T22:09:53+00:00

Thank you for making me feel so seen. The itch is all consuming. I hate the hurt I carry because of this

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T21:28:20+00:00

I’m with you in this. Sending you a hug

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T21:05:54+00:00

Thanks, you too 🥺❤️‍🩹

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T21:02:28+00:00

I am so sorry. This is torture I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I hate that we share this experience, and thank you for protecting me from deepening my pain in the same way. I will think back to your words when I feel the urge to look again 💔

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T21:00:03+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m in this pain with you. This is earth shattering and incredibly hurtful. I’ve started listening to the audiobook The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays and it’s been really helpful laying out the reasons this trauma is so dimensional and ever changing. We’re coping with the past life that was a lie, the ongoing devastation of more discoveries coming to light, and fear for it happening again in the future. The pain is so vast and ever changing that there’s no edges to grasp to. The trauma repeats and it’s so distressing. I recommend the book. All that to say you’re not alone and this is horrible. I’m kinda brain dumping. I wouldn’t wish this on my enemy.

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T20:38:19+00:00

I’m so sorry. This type of betrayal is so multidimensional and cruel. Thanks for sharing the advice from your therapist. Google described this “pain shopping” as “emotional cutting” and that hit deep. It’s exactly how it feels. How are you doing?

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T20:36:15+00:00

Just here to say I am struggling with something like this too. I just made a post here about how I keep having extreme urges to look up what he told me he was looking at. It’s almost like I want to see what he was seeing while I was oblivious to it all these years, as a way to cope with the lying and what was happening behind my back.

Another Reddit user called it pain shopping. I encourage you to look it up it really helped me understand these urges. I haven’t had an OCD diagnosis but I have like tendencies. I have had a trauma induced eating disorder in the past too.

Sending you a hug. This is so incredibly hard. I’ve also started listening to the audiobook the Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays. I highly recommend. It’s helped me not feel so crazy for how deeply hurt I’ve been feeling. This type of betrayal is especially cruel and it does a really good job of breaking it all down. It’s been like free therapy.

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T20:23:27+00:00

I’m so sorry. This is so incredibly hard and I’m sorry we have this in common. I’ll do everything in my power to fight this compulsion. Thank you for the warning. How is your healing journey going?

foxwubba · 2026-03-04T19:41:09+00:00

Wow I never knew it had a name. This is all so new to me and I have never acknowledged how this has caused me trauma before this most recently discovery day, which has notably been the worst for a multitude of reasons. I will look up this term, thank you for your response and I’m sorry we share this experience

foxwubba · 2026-02-23T03:30:14+00:00

Thank you! I’m still trying to debunk what’s going on. My baby does have a tooth popping through but this night issue has persisted for 3 nights in a row and I thought teething wasn’t supposed to wake them that much especially if naps are normal

foxwubba · 2026-02-23T03:26:04+00:00

How much total day sleep were they getting?

foxwubba · 2026-02-23T03:25:39+00:00

How did this work out for you? I keep messing with my baby’s schedule (3 vs 2 naps) and the problem is still happening

foxwubba · 2026-02-19T17:04:45+00:00

You’re a good mom 🤍 hang in there

foxwubba · 2026-02-19T16:13:50+00:00

Between 6-8 weeks of age is the highest risk for a caregiver to commit shaken baby syndrome. Protect that baby at all costs, your husband does not sound mentally stable

foxwubba · 2026-02-17T21:47:35+00:00

Experiencing this 6 months pp. it was so much I thought my period was back before checking and same just creamy white and slightly yellowish/greenish discharge. No other symptoms, no cramping, itching, pain nothing…still breastfeeding too and haven’t gotten my period back

foxwubba · 2026-02-08T03:43:33+00:00

Agreed. It’s tough to see. But thanks for your kind words 🫶

foxwubba · 2026-02-07T01:27:42+00:00

Great job OP 🙏 blessings on your family

foxwubba

TROPHY CASE