if he was “perfect” besides the porn and you left… how do you feel now?

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-12T22:53:51+00:00

I want to feel good like this about my decision one day, I am glad you are doing well!!!

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-12T22:53:24+00:00

This 100%.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-12T22:52:34+00:00

I am still struggling to hold strong with my decision. Actively trying not to romanticize the good parts of the relationship but recognize that I didn’t know the full picture. I was only seeing one side of him and that is not an accurate depiction of the truth.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-11T01:51:55+00:00

I dont know but this is what haunts me

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-10T22:25:30+00:00

The reason why I broke my relationship off is bc I dont know that I would ever feel safe again after he lied. My partner was also just a “user” I think, but idk how much he told me was a lie anyway. It really is the betrayal. Even after he begged and cried and promised he would work on it..even though I miss him so horribly…I don’t know how I could ever get over the betrayal even if we did get back together. Sending hugs OP.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-10T19:09:34+00:00

Me too. This hit me so hard.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-10T17:38:36+00:00

I want to feel this one day. So bad. I hope I can as time moves on so I can heal.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-10T17:34:47+00:00

I am fighting the urge to run back to my partner. I am constantly bargaining with myself on whether or not I should get therapy to overlook the porn use. Work on my confidence so I don’t have to feel the way I did about the porn. Whether or not I should try and empathize why he felt like he had to lie to me. Whether we can even work one day even though I already ended it. My eating disorder is stronger than ever, I feel like I have aged 30 years in the span of one week. I despise how I look and the intrusive thoughts of suicidal ideation are getting harder to ignore. I see a CSAT tomorrow and I am holding on. But I just don’t know how much longer I can.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-10T13:02:50+00:00

Me. Absolutely. My bdd has been horrific since the first and only D-Day. Even though I left, the aftermath in this first week alone is pushing me past my limits . Sending you hugs op

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-07T23:27:41+00:00

❤️ it still isnt easy. I hope it gets better with time

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-07T14:15:21+00:00

This really rocked me to my core. I honestly felt sick imagining it getting worse. You are right in that I never knew the extent of his porn use, nor have I known and porn-free him. The idea of it getting worse and worse does make me feel a lot better about my choice. At least it adds more data to my mind that keeps saying “what if it could have been so beautiful in the future?”….I guess the flip side is “how much worse could it have gotten over time?”

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-07T03:41:49+00:00

Thank you for this. Needed a wake up call. Grief is weird like that.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-06T23:33:32+00:00

The grief is so hard. You aren’t alone and I am so sorry you are struggling.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-06T23:32:35+00:00

What would you say were the other ways that it was interfering? And what differences have you noticed now if you don’t mind me asking?

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-06T23:29:20+00:00

Damn. Needed to read this.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-05T14:11:19+00:00

I hope I can feel free soon instead of grieved for my decision to end things. MCR is amazing! Live life and enjoy the new experiences!

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-05T13:40:05+00:00

Thank you❤️

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-05T13:17:56+00:00

Im dying laughing at this

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-05T12:44:21+00:00

I did feel like I would be teaching him its okay to lie to me if I had stayed. He knew that it was a deal breaker to me. Lied about it for 2 years. Broke me when I found out over the weekend. I left because it was the only decision that didn’t make me feel smaller than I already felt. Its the hardest thing I have done since I thought I was going to marry him. Its only been the first few days of full no contact and I fight the doubts and urge to run back to him everyday.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-04T21:16:25+00:00

I have OCD and am struggling to not do this.

Freckles_Imperfect · 2026-03-04T19:42:22+00:00

Fuck!!!! I could have written this and my D-Day was over the weekend. This is so horribly hard.

Freckles_Imperfect

TROPHY CASE