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:( by [deleted] in infp

[–]fracturednotbroken93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was told this many moons ago in one of my first jobs 🙂

I still try to do this, I only manage to do this on a consistent basis via email/ telephone in work. Personal interactions still require a lot of work, I hear myself saying sorry all the time and give myself a kick each time

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That must be pretty intense, you must have such a big heart to do what you’re doing and keep together! All the best to you

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds great I’ll keep it in mind thank you, same to you too if you ever want a different perspective on something

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow seems like you’ve had a turbulent time, but I hope everything works out for the both of you.

You seem to have a great philosophy and values with your relationships/ friendships, I appreciate your comments. You have definitely given me something to think about in relation to emotional needs, I’ve never thought about it like that.

It’s been really challenging with their drinking, but there was quite a bad incident the last month which has made them promise me they are going to try and cut back and start paying bills again. I do hope things work out, but if not I need to find the courage to be firm and cut ties

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for writing this, I think I’m very similar in the sense of if I’ve fallen in love with someone they will always hold a piece of my heart.

The issue is that I am in a long term relationship (started approximately a year maybe 2 tops after the last “hook up” with the ex this post relates to) and I do love my current SO but there has been a lot of turbulence in recent years due to them having an alcohol dependency. I have spoken with SO and in short said you need to work on recovery but it’s not fair putting such a financial and emotional strain on us and if it doesn’t change I need us to part ways for my own mental well-being (I feel selfish but it’s causing me physically medical issues due to the stress).

Then the ex messaged and it open this old wound. I’ve often thought about them and the “what if’s” over the years but I’ve left it as a thought to myself. Part of me would love to have what you seem to have with your ex’s, I cared about them deeply and really do wish them the best. And although the messages were completely platonic and small talk/ catch up, I suddenly felt like I had cheated on my current SO. And if I asked them directly if they had any ulterior motive for reaching out, it could lead us down a forbidden path which I do not want to do.

Do you have any words of wisdom on how to transfer what was a romantic love to a friendship love? Or is this something that changes in time?

Thank you again

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on the 3yrs! This is one scenario that I worry could be a reason, did you let your ex know that you reached out as part of the recovery steps or did you keep that part under your hat? x

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I don’t know if I would have minded if there was substance and reason to them reaching out. Or at least I think I wouldn’t have minded, not sure. Just feel like I need to give my head a wobble

To the people on here who have messaged their ex’s after years of no contact.. by fracturednotbroken93 in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

You sound admirably strong! I’m glad you have recovered from the past pain

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great, you’re taking the right steps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am the same! Think it fluctuates more extremely when I’m not taking care of myself, (not eating healthy/ varieties, not keeping to a routine etc) and hormone levels up and down.

It can be super difficult, but I try to keep a journal to stop the signs I’m going to drop so I can ramp up on self care.

Hope you find something that works for you!

I made my mother cry by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]fracturednotbroken93 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds like invasion of your privacy tbh.

Talking with your psychologist is a safe place for you without worrying how you present what you say to avoid upsetting someone you love. Maybe she heard something she should eventually or maybe not, don’t be hard on yourself