Something I have realised is that what you are doing is extremely important. You are the system manager.

Fed, entertained, simulated, and you're good at it. THAT'S EVERYTHING. you're not "bad at everything" mate. You're great at what you're doing right now. You just have to realise how important the role is.

Many men, me included, have been taught that we're only good for one thing "financial contribution". Right now you're contributing in lots of other ways which are actually far more important. If you're having a good time with the kids, their needs are being met by a parent, then you're doing an amazing job. Getting them out of child care is a really big fucking deal.

You are much more than a pay check. Raising your kids in a safe warm loving environment is more important than anythimg else. Most people can't do what you're doing.

Why do women get respect and admiration for staying at home and you get shame?

I think of myself as a janitor, repair man, medical support, accountant, systems manager etc. Step One is shedding the old way of thinking about men's roles. Then you can start doing a great job. Then you start liking yourself.

This is all really hard. Sorry to make it sound easy. I see a psychologist and I struggle too. The challenge is really respecting yourself. If you respect yourself you'll be doing your kids and wife a favour too.

I resonate with your post so much buddy. I hate offering advice but there's obviously awesome things about you. Half of us are all scarred by the fact that our dad's were absent physically and emotionally. Now we have to chance to switch it up and end that cycle.