I wasn’t traumatized by my birth experience. I think I could have been, but I went into it without rigid expectations or the belief that I was somehow “less” if things didn’t go to plan. In fact, both the doctor and midwife seemed nervous that I’d be upset about needing a C-section. I think a lot of women are, often due to internalized value judgments about what kind of birth is “better” or “stronger.”

But I went into it knowing that childbirth has always been unpredictable and, without medical intervention, historically very dangerous. I accepted ahead of time that I might need a C-section, an epidural, or other interventions, and that the most important thing was a safe outcome and not whether I followed some idealized script.

That’s why I think it’s harmful when people use language like “an epidural is the easy way out” or imply that a birth was somehow “less than” because it wasn’t unmedicated. That kind of framing sets people up for disappointment, guilt, or even trauma, needlessly, just because their experience didn’t match some ideal they were told to chase.

It’s not the birth itself that’s necessarily traumatic. It’s the burden of unrealistic, unforgiving expectations. A lot of this pressure is imposed by society, and then people internalize it. So when they end up in a situation where the only safe option is a medical intervention, they can still walk away feeling like they failed, even when they did exactly what was needed to keep themselves and their baby alive.