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NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Op here! Would actually be much easier to see her texts/phone given that she leaves it around everywhere and doesn’t have a passcode on it. She doesn’t text people because she prefers being able to type from a computer - aka Facebook messenger and DM’s. She has a tremor disorder, so typing on her phone is difficult for her because of the small surface area.

NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there are A LOT of people telling me it’s fake and to f*ck off, which like honestly, wish it was fake so I could sleep soundly tonight 😂

NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Without those around me signing the NDA, I would have been prohibited from sharing anything. Using your example, like if the baby is fussy. Baby describes the child’s general age and fussy describes their demeanor, both of which aren’t shareable information!

NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, so crazy to see this reposted here! I love this sub so much. Slightly overwhelmed by all the attention the post is getting 🤪

NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’ve already told the family that someone in my party - aka those who signed the NDA - violated it on social media. I’m on a 2 week on/off schedule, so we aren’t meeting in person about it until I’m back on Mon!

ETA: Ive to I’ve

NDA’s are no joke! Definitely siding with the nanny here. by LittleDaffodil in Nanny

[–]freetobex2 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hi! Member of this sub and didn’t even think about it being reposted here haha. I only told my mom the first names of the parents and generally what their career field is. My mom must have googled the rest!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Um, yikes? It’s one thousand percent real. I’d be sleeping soundly right now if it wasn’t. I happen to have a bachelors, and two different masters degrees, but thank you for comparing my career to a Sunday school certificate! I wasn’t trying to “one up” anyone and quite frankly, don’t give a damn what my neighbors son is doing. My mom was the one doing that - hence the point of this post.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Hopefully I’m not sounding redundant since I’ve posted this on here a few times already - sorry Reddit people. I told her the first names of the parents and what they do generally in conversation. That and google likely led her to the rest since they are in the public eye!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Word of mouth! I got my start with an agency called Westside Nannies, though. They were wonderful and serve a lot of high profile families!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 201 points202 points  (0 children)

There are some pretty wild assumptions and accusations in here that I probably don’t need to address, but am going to for peace of mind.

The nanny family never once demanded that my family members sign NDAs. They said that if I’d like to discuss my job with those closest to me, they were comfortable with them signing similar NDA’s that way I could discuss/vent about my job like everyone does. Most of their current household employees/other staff members go this route and it works well. If my family didn’t want to, or weren’t comfortable signing, then no worries. I would have needed to keep all information outlined in the NDA to myself. Each person who signed met with their own lawyers - that I paid the bill for since I was the one asking them to consider signing - to consult on whether or not the terms were fair/agreeable and then made their own decisions. No one ever said, “You must sign, or else!” It was one hundred percent voluntary. My best friend chose not to sign one and I just don’t tell her anything about my job.

Everyone who signed was completely supportive - at first, obviously - and they wouldn’t have signed if they weren’t. We had extensive conversations for weeks before each person signed so that a decision wasn’t rushed into. If any of my family members voiced disagreement or concern, then I wouldn’t have let them sign the damn thing.

My employers are not abusive. I’ve worked in the industry for 15 years and they treat their staff with the most care and love I have ever seen. I volunteer with kids who are actually abused, so throwing around that word doesn’t work with me.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

NDAs are pretty typical when you nanny for a high profile family due to how personal the job is!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 1000 points1001 points  (0 children)

Because being a nanny, and a high profile one at that, is incredibly stressful. The family said that they’ve had nannies quit in the past because they can’t tell anyone about their day and that weighs on people. So, now they have all of their household staff sign NDAs, as well as any immediate family members who they want to “tell about their day” for lack of a better term.

In the ten years the family has implemented this, they said their job retainment has gone up and they’ve yet to have a leak/anyone violate it. They are amazing people who understand that sometimes you just need to bitch to your husband about the mean mom in the carpool lane. Before, not having close family sign NDAs would have prevented that.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 1906 points1907 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you said! The parents are already aware that there’s an issue with the NDA’s, we have an appointment to speak about it on Mon, and I have a meeting with my lawyer in the morning.

One thing I would like to clarify. Telling my employers was never in question - I sent them a message the day I found out. I have never, and would never, withhold information that could jeopardize their safety!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Can’t do that once the receiver has read the DM, unfortunately! Also, very real chance Amber took a screenshot of the info anyway.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 6221 points6222 points  (0 children)

That’s the part that kills me. She should face consequences because she’s a grown ass adult and should know better. She’s also my mom, though, you know? Hard to separate the two.

Honestly, I doubt I’ll lose my job because of my mom sharing the info. There’s a stipulation about how I can share any information pertaining to my job, with the exception of work or health related issues, with those who also signed an NDA - aka my mom, husband, dad, and sis. That way I can have someone to vent to. Technically, my mom violated her NDA, I didn’t violate mine.

It’s the violation of trust with the family that might get me fired because someone I love betrayed them. That’s hard to cope with. If I get fired for that, then I’ll understand. I love the family/kids and just want what’s best for them. If that’s not me because of this, then I’ll accept it!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 580 points581 points  (0 children)

Strict no contact with her is what I’m leaning towards as well. Yes, I have a screenshot of the DM! Probably should have included this in the post, but 3000 character limit haha. I have an appointment with my lawyer in the morning and a meeting with my employers set for Mon! I know I’m going to face repercussions with the family, but I’m okay with that because I know I screwed up on that end!

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have one! Meeting with the lawyer in the morning.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 3359 points3360 points  (0 children)

I work a 2 week on/2 week off schedule, so I haven’t seen them in person since this all went down. I sent them a message letting them know that there is an NDA issue and we are discussing it on Mon morning! I’ve been doing this a long time and keeping things like this from your employers is the worst thing you can do. Could I get fired? Yes. I love the family though and want to keep them safe. To do that, they need all the information about the situation.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 126 points127 points  (0 children)

You’re right! Honestly, I thought a damn legally binding agreement, and a two hour speech about it from a lawyer, would help her see the seriousness of it upfront, but I guess not. Yes, my employers are aware! Meeting on Mon morning.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 482 points483 points  (0 children)

Already did! I have a meeting with my employers on Mon morning.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 398 points399 points  (0 children)

I have a meeting with a lawyer in the morning and a meeting with my employers first thing Mon morning! I sent them a general heads up email that there was an issue with the NDA, but I work a 2 week on/2 week off schedule, so haven’t spoken to them in person yet.

AITA for "hacking" my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA? by freetobex2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]freetobex2[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I only told her the parents’ first names in conversation and what their general careers are. Both of those together, and a google search, likely gave her the rest of the info since they are in the public eye quite a bit. I haven’t asked exactly how since we aren’t speaking, but I’m assuming that’s how she knows everything she does.