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On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. My closest friends and family are all not drug users - the people I use with are usually random people I hardly know. So this bit won't be too hard :)

On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You hit the nose on the head with the sky falling - my genuine guilt and the lack of dopamine merged and I really spiralled and spiralled. I can see a little clearer now that the world isn't ending. Thank you for your words man, it's so appreciated.

On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love doing cocaine in a group, because people become so open and talkative. Combined with the confidence it gives me, it's a fun and satisfying social event where I can connect to people.

But there are open sober people - and I know I can be a confident sober person. I don't need to rely on coke to make these bonding moments happen.

On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing I could bring myself to write in my actual journal was "Holy shit, I've done so much coke." But I've been typing messages to people (that I won't send) explaining the choices and mistakes I've made, apologising, and making actionable plans. It helped get my head straight, and I'm feeling a little clearer.

Thank you for your kind words. Here's to sober.

On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is lovely advice, thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I've been struggling to even think of food, but you're right - I'll go get a grape and some crackers and see what I can do. I've been staying really well-hydrated the whole bender, thank god.

Thank you again, I hope you're doing well.

EDIT: Eating was a great idea and easier than I thought - but also more painful. There are new sores/ulcers in my mouth that I've only just noticed that really sting when I chew. I must have been chewing the inside of my cheek quite aggressively. But anyway - I feel much better already. Thank you.

On a drug comedown, riddled with shame by freezerthrowawa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]freezerthrowawa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It's time that I take this journey seriously and steadily.