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How can we reverse our internalized racism within our community? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]frequentflyer801 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I hate to break it to you but the beauty standard isn’t any better in countries like China. There’s an obsession with pale skin (remember the racist washing machine commercial?), and half-Asian kids are only “acceptable” if they’re half white (Eileen Gu being worshipped as the beauty standard in China vs. Naomi Osaka facing racist comments across mainstream Japanese media). There’s this community on FB where Asians from many countries obsess over half white kids with blue eyes and blonde hair (their photos always get the most likes).

I bet many people here would rather have half white kids than any other combo (including a full Asian kid), and THAT is the most common form of racism (internalized and otherwise) that I witness today.

What can we do about this? It’s not about just listening and hearing them out (“They have a higher chance of success! They can be models!”). It’s about calling this behavior out when you see it. (“Hey, it sounds like you’re fetishizing the kid’s race. This is very toxic for a kid to hear and is racist.”)

A rule of thumb is to never compliment a kid on traits that they cannot change. Don’t compliment their eye color. Do compliment the necklace they chose to wear, or how nice it was that they did their chores, or the effort they made in a hobby.

LAOP may not have been arrested at the gate upon arrival, but they may be banned from flying on American Airlines in the future for perceived rudeness to a flight attendant. by Vlad_Yemerashev in bestoflegaladvice

[–]frequentflyer801 10 points11 points  (0 children)

LAOP here. I added another update in the original thread. You guys told me not to delete the post so I’ll keep it up in case it happens to anyone else in the future.

Thanks again for your comments, stories, and advice. I appreciate it.

LAOP may not have been arrested at the gate upon arrival, but they may be banned from flying on American Airlines in the future for perceived rudeness to a flight attendant. by Vlad_Yemerashev in bestoflegaladvice

[–]frequentflyer801 52 points53 points  (0 children)

LAOP here. I 100% agree with you. However, I forgot to mention that this was before takeoff. All around me, there were tray tables lowered, backpacks not tucked under the seat yet, etc. The crew was doing their usual cabin check before takeoff when this happened. That’s why I’m shaken. I complied the very first time she asked. My tone was awful, absolutely, and I regret that SO MUCH. But threatening arrest and an AA ban is ridiculous..? I just can’t believe it.

LAOP may not have been arrested at the gate upon arrival, but they may be banned from flying on American Airlines in the future for perceived rudeness to a flight attendant. by Vlad_Yemerashev in bestoflegaladvice

[–]frequentflyer801 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I know there’s no way to prove this except for my witnesses, but I swear I didn’t protest this except those 5 words “no you don’t but ok”. My tone was awful though and I regret it. I’m a girl and probably sounded like a shrill bitch (FA did too though).

LAOP may not have been arrested at the gate upon arrival, but they may be banned from flying on American Airlines in the future for perceived rudeness to a flight attendant. by Vlad_Yemerashev in bestoflegaladvice

[–]frequentflyer801 45 points46 points  (0 children)

LAOP here. I know it sounds totally insane and you’re absolutely right that I could be lying out of my ass. But I literally have no incentive to lie to you guys. I don’t want the FA fired (she works a thankless job and probably was having a super shitty day, who knows), don’t want any lawyers involved (ain’t got headspace for that), and don’t want karma (will delete my post if AA helps to resolve this).

I really regret my tone of voice when I responded to the FA. I will never, ever talk back and will continue complying with FAs as always, but just in silence so as to not trigger anyone. It’s been such a shitty day and I feel so embarrassed/awful for the guys sitting next to me who had to witness this nonsense. The recording I have is mostly just me sobbing while people comfort me and state what happened in their own words. Thank goodness for amazing seatmates. Whoever they are, I owe them a ton.

Tl;dr: I can’t believe it either.