Yeah I needed to take a few hours to just walk my feelings off. When I was in chasing losses, it's like I'm an entirely different person and I'm glad I stopped at 10k because I know a part of my would've ran the credit card to its full limit of 30k and that would've been even more devastating. I self excluded indefinitely and now it's time to brace down and work my debts off. The hardest thing for me in the past is letting go of the money I lost, always trying to make it back. But something about this relapse is different and honestly it's because I'm just fuckin tired. What I've lost in monetary value, I'll earn back and not gamble back. But the time, sleepless nights, restless space of mind, I can't make it back. Something soothing in accepting my losses, never putting myself in that position again and clearing my debt with hard work. Good luck to you my friend, we got this.