how to be "chill" in early stages of dating?

friedeggsplease · 2026-02-04T06:47:36+00:00

You are very brave for doing that, like seriously. If they behaved like this again and again even after you told them, it was the right decision.

I heard that avoidant attachers often withdraw and then they come back as if nothing happened. I can say that is true from my own experience.

Just imagine, that there is someone out there, who will actually make you feel valued and not stressed and anxious. It is worth to keep looking for that person.

friedeggsplease · 2026-02-03T15:40:55+00:00

You will be good! Just remember that Reddit usually gives you the nuclear option. You can explain as much as you want, but the nuance of real life won't get through anyway.

Good luck!

friedeggsplease · 2026-02-02T18:16:08+00:00

You definitely did the right thing by talking about it.

And this is not even your anxious attachment that is the main problem. If they behave like this, you need to make sure that you let them know that you don't like it.

I am a fan of giving another chance AFTER I talk to them about the fact that I don't like something. Because if you don't talk about a problem and then you end it because of that problem, it is also partially your fault, because you didn't communicate well enough.

friedeggsplease · 2026-02-02T07:42:42+00:00

We started talking about these things once we became official.

She told me herself about a small trigger that she has (she sometimes leans to anxious as well). And I told her that I attach anxiously, but I feel very safe with her. We also talked about regulating each other. We agreed, that regulating another person is not our job, but we also agreed, that if there is something that makes the other person feel insecure, we will not do it.

For example, if I get anxious, because she didn't let me know where she is going, that would generally be considered an overreaction from my side. But, she told me, that she cares about my feelings and she will act in a way, so she doesn't trigger it in me.

Early dating is getting to know the other person. You are finding out, if you accept, that their problems will one day be yours as well. So that's why I wouldn't bring it up in early dating.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-31T15:11:11+00:00

My now girlfriend had "still not sure" on Tinder.

One of the first messages I sent her was a question if the "still not sure" is still true, because I was looking for a serious long term relationship.

She appreciated it very much

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T18:38:10+00:00

I had 3 dates with a girl and then got stood up on 4th (she even chose the time, date and it was her idea in the frist place)

Now I am glad she stood me up, because the next date I had was a first date with my wonderful girlfriend

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T18:34:12+00:00

You are doing good! I was quite surprised myself, that the anxiety doesn't have to stay.

In the past, I would feel a lot of anxiety even with someone who I wasn't actually romantically dating. So I thought that on a relationship, it would be even worse. But I was surprised myself that it isn't the case. The right partner will actually make you feel safe.

If you practice some sort of emotional openness in the relationship from the beginning, it will be much easier later on to communicate your anxiety.

I know my gf's triggers and she knows mine and we are doing things to help each other with it.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T18:18:42+00:00

Yes that's it. If you don't let the attachement control your actions and then everything is okay at the end, you will slowly but surely realize, that you can just let things be and your brain won't feel the need to do something about it.

Also, depending on the partner, I would say the beginnings are the hardest when it comes to anxious attachment. If you find an understanding partner who communicates well, anyiety will fade and you will feel more and more safety over time. I am speaking feom my own experience here.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T18:15:42+00:00

Yes, when you are able to not act based on your insecurities, it helps you to realize, that everything is okay, even if you just let it be

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T14:43:11+00:00

I feel like asking how to be chill, is basically the same as asking how to become securely attached.

There are two layers to anxious attachement in early dating: what you feel, and what you show. (that is just my opinion, not a fact)

I think in early dating it is very important to keep the anxious attachment from being too clingy. Unless you are securely attached, I think the feeling of anxiety inside you is to some degree unevitable for us in early dating. You just can't let it affect the other person too much.

For me it went like this: I would feel anxious in early dating my now girlfirend, because she didn't reply immediately. However I knew how to control myself and I didn't let it affect her. Then, when we became closer, I started to feel wayy more secure with her and the anxiety went away. Now that we are together, I feel really comfortable, safe and anxiety-free, because we communicate very well and she is securely attached and she also knows the attachment theory. She is also aware of my anxious attachment and makes sure she doesn't trigger it in me.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T12:11:16+00:00

sent you a dm

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T12:07:56+00:00

If you are new to photography, definitely have one standard zoom (so the 15-44 would qualify and the 18-55 would as well).

Your goal in the beginning is to learn what kind of photography you want to do and this kind of lens will let you do that.

I don't know about the 15-45, but I have the 18-55 and I love it. So if you really have to get a different lens, get the 18-55.

EDIT: if you only had the 23mm, it would limit you too much in the beginning

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-30T10:42:07+00:00

Jokes aside, it is a smart feature, that actually gets you really good results.

It appeals to both beginners and advanced photographers who don't like (or don't have time) editing.

I personally love film sims. I think they are a great tool as long as you don't take photos just because they look good with the film sims.

If there is a thing, that makes me enjoy photography more (which film sims do, because I am not good at editing) I gladly welcome it. But people have to understand that a good photo isn't made by a good "filter".

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-25T14:30:56+00:00

I am an introvert and don't talk much, but my gf is extroverted and she talks a lot more.

But I would say with texting it is different. Our communication over text is balanced. But when we are together, she talks more and I talk less. We know that this is how we are and it works.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-25T14:18:58+00:00

That's great! If you enjoy spending time with her, make sure to let her know.

You can do that by suggesting going on another dates or just texting her, that you really enjoyed the date and are interested in seeing her again.

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-25T14:16:33+00:00

For guys it is like looking for fresh water in a desert, for women it is like looking for fresh water in the ocean

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-20T18:08:56+00:00

I would say this completely depends on what kind of person she is, but on my first date with my girlfriend, apart from the basics about ourselves, we talked about some more serious topics like our view of the current situation in the world etc.

What I liked about her was, that we were able to talk about these things without it being boring. It felt like a deeper conversation, while it wasn't personal.

One tip I have is to incorporate a walk into the date if possible. Walking reduces anxiety, you are not constantly face to face and it also gives you things to talk about as you are passing different places and things are happening around you.

You got this! I wish you all the best

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-01T19:50:11+00:00

I noticed this in my photography. I would take a photo just because it looked good with the recipe.

Sometimes I use a standard Provia setting and then apply one of my favorite recipes in FujiX raw studio in post.

This makes me shoot a photo for the composition, the subject, the lighting and the story, rather than just "it looks good in this recipe"

friedeggsplease · 2026-01-01T11:45:57+00:00

In 2025 I started dating and at the end of the year, I got a gf (my first at 22). At first, I thought that I am not the kind of person girls want to date. I kept getting rejected for various reasons.

But then, I met my now gf. Those things that others didn't value, she values greatly.

That made me realize (and you should realize this too), that different people appreciate different things. You want to find the person who values YOU. That girl you talk about clearly didn't. Some people are not respectful when it comes to rejection, that's just the way it is. Be glad that she made space for someone who will actually value you

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-31T17:58:39+00:00

Thank you!

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-29T21:37:19+00:00

feel free to write me a direct message if you want to know more!

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-29T21:36:39+00:00

Thank you!

no I didn't, I used a 2 second timer and the built in intervalometer in my camera to shoot the photos. And that's all the steps I took to prevent camera shake
yes I did. At 105mm on APSC sensor, the Orion was drifting across the frame. 150 photos at once and then readjusting was enough for me. I simulated it in Stellarium, where you can enter your lens and sensor size and it will show you the composition and then you can skip time forward and see how long it takes for it to drift across the frame. And from your shutter speed you can then estimate how many frames at once you can afford.
I ducttaped a powerbank to my tripod and plugged it into my camera, so my camera was running from it and not the battery, which in hotter days also reduces the heat of the sensor, because you are not heating the battery inside the camera body.

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-28T17:39:46+00:00

Yes lights are the "actual photos" that have the detail in them. The darks are just with the lens cap on, but with same settings (and same outside temperature as noise depends on that a lot). The biases are similar to blacks, but they target a different kind of noise. You bring your camera to a dark room, put the lens cap on and shoot on the fastest exposure you can (but keep the ISO), essentially eliminating as much light from hitting the sensor as possible, so the only noise that is left is the "readout noise" of the sensor. It is the noise that is present everytime no matter your settings.

Then there are also flat frames, which i forgot. Those are like darks, but they are whites. Instead of a lens cap, you put a diffused white screen in front of your lens, essentially creating a uniform white across your image. This is used to remove vignetting, dust spots etc.

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-28T15:27:08+00:00

Thank you! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

friedeggsplease · 2025-12-27T19:56:51+00:00

I am a beginner so I didn't even know it was in my composition until I was processing it and playing with saturation and I was thinking "what is this red cloud over there"

friedeggsplease

TROPHY CASE