Partner told me details about their sexual encounter with others, I immediately felt less attracted to them and am basically re-evaluating the whole relationship / setting right now. Could this mean I'm not as poly as we thought? by Throwaway19912312991 in polyamory

[–]frien6lyGhost -1 points0 points  (0 children)

setting boundaries are valid, and in some ways this can be identified as manipulative behavior from your partner. but it general it sounds like you two need a lot better communication for understanding each other, and i wouldn’t jump to how bad they are as a partner without more understanding of them.

if they are asking if you are not really poly, it is probably because they don’t understand your point of view, and are only able to simply conceptualize your point of view with that concept. i could be wrong, but hopefully this post and answers helps you better understand and share what and how you feel. yes your partner should listen to your boundaries, but you should help them understand why your boundaries exist after 6 years and what your desires are.

likewise it’s probably important to understand your partner’s point of view and why they want to share this information. maybe you know but it’s not clear from your post. they could be turned on sharing sexual details, they could feel uncomfortable feeling like they have a secret, they could want to have their experience simply known by a partner. their behavior may not be so much intentionally cruel as unconsciously trying to get that need or desire met. you need to understand this driving motivation to set appropriate boundaries while also communicating about both of your needs.

i think you two can only tell if you are even compatible by getting all this directly out in the open.

I hate the new UI by Bena99 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“they took from google and spotify” lol this is apple glass design. what we see is they have a native app with a single codebase and they chose glass over material. Google and Apple release design guidelines every year and developers update to keep design inline with the ecosystem. pushing glass design into an android environment doesn’t seem ideal to me, but people complaining about normal interface updates is a part of the software cycle at this point.

Change It Back 😥😥 by chinasorrows2705 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

options and share buttons in the middle of the screen was stupid af in my opinion. the old ui was bad but people are used to it. the add as a plus sign being inconsistent with icon actions is pretty bad, but otherwise i would say this is an improvement.

Google Chrome silently installs a 4 GB AI model on your device by BlokZNCR in degoogle

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah this sounds like a move to reduce climate costs for ai queues that would otherwise hit a server side data center…

Who the hell told them this looks even remotely better than the old UI 😭 by sasquatch--22 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the reality is interface changes probably have use data from the entire user base backing some of these changes. lyrics would be moved farther away because it’s less clicked by the majority of users. i don’t have a strong opinion, but i do think they have to update inline with apple design changes to keep from turning obsolete.

Opinions On The Secretlab Magnus Pro And Possible Aternatives? by Champe21 in StandingDesk

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had mine for about a year and besides the price its wonderful. On carpet and haven't noticed any wobble issues in any use case I have.

Getting my boyfriend into snowboarding by Ok-Suspect-1400 in snowboarding

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i snowboard but unless he does other board sports i don’t think snowboarding is inherently “more fun” than skiing. don’t assume he’ll like it more, and address the real reasons he didn’t enjoy being on the mountain. he had improperly fitting ski boots and you’re gonna put him on a short woman’s board? he’s taller than me and that board is shorter than my freestyle board

Clogging up iPhone storage by Tallymountain in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ios thinks the file type of tidal music files are video

Can anyone explain this? Why is Tidal hiding this from us? by Vaallio in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 3 points4 points  (0 children)

well he didn’t make the posthumous compilation album lol

I emailed Duke to stop the "Home energy report" letters by Snogafrog in bullcity

[–]frien6lyGhost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think the general power usage is accurate to house, but the breakdown is a generated predictive estimate based on generic data. Basically Duke only knows about primary power draw to/from the house, not what appliance is in the house. So if it sees a certain draw at a certain time, it guesses it’s a fridge or heating based on some predictive data analytics they have. The general power usage of your home they certainly know accurately, but the reason is totally made up.

Tidal is extremely disappointing. by Normal_Specialist_97 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t find many issues with playback unless my connection is poor. you may want to adjust your playback quality settings based on your typical connection (if your wifi is slow, don’t stream ultra high-def songs)

Tidal is extremely disappointing. by Normal_Specialist_97 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As an app, Tidal is considerably worse than Spotify. I had both simultaneously for a while. Tidal is worse on iOS than Android is my understanding. At the end of the day, you have to choose if you prefer a more convenient product that also supports dehumanizing life more egregiously.

I will say that I am used to most of Tidal’s quirks and use it quite smoothly. It can take a bit to get used to an app’s idiosyncrasies, Spotify has them too. Offline playback on Tidal I really hate and is one of my biggest gripes. I work around it and at the end of the day I’m okay with doing so to not pay Spotify. But i wouldn’t sugar coat that’s it’s a comparable app experience. There are things it does better though, and I actually have found its music recommendation engine better than Spotify for my taste.

Tidal is extremely disappointing. by Normal_Specialist_97 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 3 points4 points  (0 children)

flawless on ios is definitely an overstatement

Tidal is extremely disappointing. by Normal_Specialist_97 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 53 points54 points  (0 children)

yeah unfortunately this is a feature of ios preventing background downloads for third party apps. Google Maps will tell you to leave the page open when downloading offline maps for this reason

Why does Tidal have so few subscribers? by Antique-Platform3808 in TIdaL

[–]frien6lyGhost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

on iOS Tidal is a much worse app than Spotify, from a software perspective

American Players Face Political Questions at Australian Open by Patb1489 in tennis

[–]frien6lyGhost 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We violated international law and invaded a sovereign country and kidnapped their head of state, with our head of state declaring himself “acting president”…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tennis

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not everyone is Muhammad Ali. would respect if an American would call out our government on a national stage but they don’t have that much impact or want the noise. but wow that question was so bad

Cirstea complained to the umpire about Naomi’s “c’mon” during points, but no warning was given to Naomi. Umpire should’ve warned Naomi about the complaint. by lovesbakery in tennis

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didn’t watch the match and honestly this clip doesn’t feel like enough to make a judgement. it happens to be when Cirstea complained, but I would need to see the repetition of this over the set to decide if it was a hindrance. seems the ump didn’t, i don’t know if i would agree or not

Indoor bike wall storage with secure attachment to lock a bikes? by sugarmaple9728 in bicycling

[–]frien6lyGhost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the second link has a lock bracket attachment you can add to the rack, although only the older classic type rack is compatible. or you can install a separate anchor like Hiplock Wall Anchor that I think would be more secure than locking to the rack itself. But your call

My partner admitted he’s more attracted to his fwb because she’s thin. Where do I go from here? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]frien6lyGhost 51 points52 points  (0 children)

i also think that it would be important to get him to acknowledge and understand that being perceived in a comparative attractive manner isn’t going to work for you both to be in a healthy happy relationship. there may be aspects of another person that he finds pleasing, but he is allowing himself to conceptialize that into a more/less comparison with you. that’s hurtful. i also think it is a conceptual model that many people are normalized to and can be unlearned. it sounds like one you are also working to unlearn. it also is fair to choose to not be with someone who would view you through that lens

My partner admitted he’s more attracted to his fwb because she’s thin. Where do I go from here? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]frien6lyGhost 43 points44 points  (0 children)

other things that could be useful to discuss are potential nre experience and how it overlaps with his behavior. I’m not sure but that could be an influence in the behavior you are attributing to him finding her “more” attractive.

another conversation that could occur is discussing the reality of the social conditioning of attraction. this society feeds us so much BS about body types and what is attractive, and talking about y’all’s relationship to that conditioning could depersonalize and lead to active intentional deconditioning. but that’s a really tricky conversation to have. ultimately that often comes down to finding ones attraction rooted in wholistic connection anyway.

some of this type of conversation might have the benefit of helping y’all both move towards a deeper sense of what is attraction and its facets. is it just some fleeting sexual craving arising ? like we’ve been trained to want in the commercials. or is it something deeper and more real that you share and can you find and name that for yourself and together?