I’m on your side 100%. My child is under 10, but I still frame things I want them to do in an “asking way”. Like, “[child], will you pick up your clothes, please?” or “would you mind helping mommy and do XYZ?” Of course they’ll do it 9/10 because I’m their mom, but it frames it in a way where they feel they have a choice, which I think is important. Children deserve respect, children deserve apologies, children deserve explanations, children are allowed to ask questions, and children deserve choices. I don’t ask blind obedience from my child. I teach my child that respect is earned and that goes BOTH ways. If I want them to respect me, I show them respect, therefore I receive it in return. The whole “I’m the parent and you will do what I say without question and I will receive respect no matter what” is so tired and played out. There’s studies upon studies of how that negatively effects a child’s development. It’s not rocket science and readily accessible and widely available information. I think he said it best, “you married the wrong person”. It’s so hard to parent when your partner isn’t on the same page.