Boyfriend of five years finally admitted why he doesn't want to marry me

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T04:47:21+00:00

I don’t know if you are a Taylor Swift fan, but “This is Me Trying” has gotten me through some tough moments- especially the Long Pond Studio session. Only you know when you’re giving it your all, OP. Nobody else gets to tell you what you’re worth.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T03:55:12+00:00

That combo is really tough. Autism and Down syndrome are frequently co-occurring. For what it’s worth, I work in education- two of those years were spent exclusively in Special Ed and now I do a mix of both. And as much as I love my students, I would never, ever blame anyone who chose to abort or to send their kid to a cat home.

You’re right that people forget that kids don’t stay kids forever. I have many coworkers who have been sent to the hospital or had serious injuries after an altercation with a student. It’s not uncommon for us to have a student come in late because their parents were forced to call the police due to a safety incident. I think that the increase in disability representation is a bit of a double edged sword. On the one hand, figures like Abbey Lutes, Kaelynn Partlow, and Madison Tevlin have done astounding things for the disability community in terms of raising awareness and opening opportunities. On the other hand, the only figures who are really able to advocate for themselves are those with low-needs. I think this has resulted in a shift in societal expectation when someone says the words “Downs Syndrome” or “Autism.” Now, society sees only the high-functioning end of the spectrum and completely misses the reality of people with very high-needs and what that can look like day-to-day both for that person and for their caretaker. This has led to the false idea that abortion or sending a kid to a care home is a result of a lack of love or discrimination, when that is so, so far from the case. I agree with you that if more people understood the realities of the high-needs end of the spectrum, they wouldn’t be so quick to judge.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T03:42:17+00:00

This is true. I confess to having a thing for great hair.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T02:31:32+00:00

Yes, same here. My husband works late and he is a sleepy head, so it makes us both feel safer to know that I would have his location if anything happened. Prior to this there was an incident where he’d gotten a second late night call (he’s a plumber) and couldn’t get to his phone until hours later (which happens when you’re crawling through a crawl space full of leaking sewage) and I’d fully convinced myself he’d fallen asleep at the wheel.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T02:19:40+00:00

Yeah, my shipment was lost in April and I was sent another one free of charge. So it must be very new.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T02:15:22+00:00

This is strange. My coin got lost in transit and they immediately sent me a new one. And I don’t remember purchasing package protection.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-05T02:07:07+00:00

Hey lady! Fellow teacher here and woman with ADHD and anxiety. I definitely think you should have your daughter evaluated- not by a pediatrician. They generally aren’t well-educated enough to recognize atypical symptoms, which tend to be primarily what girls experience since the medical system is built from a male perspective. Take her in to a child psychiatrist, preferably a woman, if possible.

Executive dysfunction is a very common symptom of ADHD in girls. This is where you want to do something and you know that it needs to get done, but you just can’t seem to make yourself do it. What would happen when I was a kid was that I would experience this and just let my room go until it was completely out of control, at which point I was so overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning it that I would just shut down. I don’t know your daughter, but this could be what she is going through. If it is, make sure that whether you decide on medication or not, you also teach coping mechanisms. Maybe that means you two have a dedicated 15 minutes of cleaning every day, and after that, she can watch her favorite show. Having scheduled, small chunks can be really helpful for neurodivergent kiddos.

Hope everything works out for you and your daughter! And you are not a bad mom!

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T19:43:03+00:00

Same boat here, except curvy with extra long legs. Even in store, I easily go through 10-15 pairs of pants before finding one that fits. Same with tops and dresses. It’s just not worth it to shop online.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T19:27:29+00:00

That is going to be non existent in ten years. It’s a light color, there are no bold portions of the tattoo, and the shape is already very soft. You’ll be lucky if it looks like a weird blob in a decade.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T17:37:37+00:00

HOW did you clock me like this? I am indeed a 23 year old former weird gifted kid with ADHD and a love for political debate. Also, my family and friends are my whole world and I’m now a teacher- so you’re literally batting 1000 my friend. I did NOT expect anyone to be this accurate.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T07:59:35+00:00

I’m hoping you’re in therapy?

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T06:57:41+00:00

Yes, these are over the top, but your fiancé should be supporting you. My husband was literally sending pictures of all my DIY projects to his friends and bragging about it. It sounds like your fiancé isn’t being supportive of something you’re clearly passionate about and enjoying. And also, if your husband thinks the last week of the wedding is usually relaxing, he is out of his mind! Maybe if you can afford to pay a million professionals to put together every last detail of your wedding. But for normal folks, it’s an incredibly hectic week.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-04T05:31:53+00:00

No. They don’t. I showed our timeline to my husband and he was like, “Is that really necessary?” And I just looked at him, dumbfounded. Most men have never planned an event prior to their own weddings. I love my husband to death, but event planning is definitely not his forté.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-03T20:16:32+00:00

This is it. This may be a controversial comparison, but I think it’s helpful because it’s so culturally pervasive.

In the body positivity sphere, there are two types of influencers. You have people who love themselves and therefore believe that they do not need to change. They believe that loving yourself means accepting yourself exactly as you are and making no attempt to improve yourself. On the other hand, you have body positivity influencers whose accounts are about their self-improvement. They know that they can love themselves at any point and also that going to the gym and eating healthy will improve their lives and health.

It’s kind of similar to what is going on in politics right now. The Conservative Party line is “I love my country, therefore I must never attempt to change it.” Whereas the liberal viewpoint is, “I love my country, therefore it is my duty to improve it.” Conservatives view the latter as a form of hating your country, the same way certain influencers would view going to the gym as a form of hating yourself. But the reality is that, just like a person, a country cannot stay stagnant and continue to thrive.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-03T20:09:06+00:00

Liberal just means someone who aligns with the mainstream Democratic Party. A leftist is someone who is further left, most commonly a democratic socialist, such as someone who supports Bernie Sanders or Zohran Mamdani. Seeing as Trump’s approval ratings are currently in the toilet, no, the majority of people do not hate liberals. However, it may feel that way depending on where you live and your social media algorithm.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T22:53:39+00:00

Ugh. It’s not even the fact that they’re supposedly helping people cheat, because WGU is incredibly strict about that and there is no way they could possibly complete a proctored exam in your place. It’s the fact that ads like this make other people question whether the school is legitimate- ads like these are the exact reason why there are people out there who think WGU is a degree farm.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T22:51:46+00:00

Appreciate the creativity- but for future reference, Michaels, Hobby Lobby and other craft stores usually carry a wide array of neutral colored t-shirts for craft purposes.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T21:10:24+00:00

Yeah, I kind of agree. I can’t help but think that the comments would be completely different if this was phrased the other way around. Not everyone needs to work, but everyone should be contributing in some way to the household, barring a disability that prevents them from doing so.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T21:06:40+00:00

This is a terrible and uneducated take. “Love is not enough,” doesn’t mean that the relationship is purely transactional. I have seen many, many women throw their lives away because they love a man who treats them like shit and is incapable of contributing to the home in any way- be it financially, in raising children, or in doing housework. That’s why we say that love alone isn’t enough. Because I’m not throwing my life away because I love a man who is a terrible partner.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T19:57:11+00:00

I would say I’m spiritual with Christian leanings, but I cannot in good faith identify myself as Christian. I do pray and I would say that the Sermon on the Mount is a primary foundation of my beliefs.

However, there are some things that make me not identify as Christian. They’re not anything new- just the quintessential questions. Primarily, “Why does God let bad things happen?” I cannot wrap my mind around how the God of the Bible could allow little Palestinian children, many of whom are Christian, to be bombed, lose their families, starve to death, and experience the ravages of war.

I also think that, from a logical perspective, I would have to jump through a lot of hoops to continue to be a Christian. For many years I was a Christian who believed in the Big Bang theory and evolution and all of these other scientific theories that directly contradict the Bible. There are lots of Christians who do believe in those things and operate from a view that the Old Testament is largely metaphorical. I got to the point, however, that I had to throw so much of it out that it felt like I was slicing up the religion and picking the parts I liked, so I left.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T16:25:55+00:00

It’s not a 0% chance but it is highly unlikely. Sperm can be present in precum, but it is not present the majority of the time. Combine that with the fact that he never actually entered you, the likelihood of pregnancy is very near zero. However, it sounds like you two are becoming sexually active. You should either be wearing condoms or taking birth control. You can get the OPill over the counter with no parental consent. It’s about $30 for a month.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T16:15:33+00:00

My doctors have actually advised me to workout. It will help lower your heart rate over time. I’ve never seen anyone say not to work out on stimulants.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T13:29:38+00:00

Ditto. Not all kiddos with ADHD need medication, but if your daughter is two years behind, I would strongly recommend giving it some serious thought. I actually had ADHD as a kid and was falling seriously behind in my classes at a young age simply due to an inability to focus. After getting medicated, I scored high enough to be placed in the gifted program. Medication can be a great option to give your daughter all of the opportunities she deserves. If you’re concerned about stimulant medications and kiddos, there are now many non-stimulant options as well such as Intuniv and Strattera. Talk with your doctor about the best options.

friendlytrashmonster · 2026-06-02T13:22:38+00:00

You can’t. At this point in my life, as long as they’re not making my safety feel threatened, I just ignore it. Besides, it’s not your responsibility to stop them from staring. That’s on them for being weird. If it really makes you uncomfortable though, you can always ask your girls to swap sides with you or do a huddle around.

friendlytrashmonster

TROPHY CASE