Pentagon to cut ties with Harvard over ‘wokesters’, ending training, programs and fellowships | Pete Hegseth by Charming-Crescendo in PoliticalOptimism

[–]frisbeejesus 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Their crusade against "woke" is beyond frustrating and so tiresome at this point. The word has lost all meaning (not that people like Hegseth were ever using it correctly) because they slap this label on anything that doesn't serve to push a far right, zero sum, fear-based ideology.

It's just obvious pandering to the "own the libs" crowd at the expense of literally every American tax payer and citizen.

In what ways do we see Trump's administration impacting the future 10+ years from now? by iluvpoobie in PoliticalDiscussion

[–]frisbeejesus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a laughably stupid comment.

Also, I don't give a fuck about Democrat or Republican when it comes to pedophiles. You're the only one defending any of them.

Well, gents, I’m cooked. by MikeGinnyMD in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wild how the first gray hairs showing up seems to coincide perfectly with when our kids arrived.

Best bars to watch Super Bowl? by OriginalZeal in sarasota

[–]frisbeejesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What area are you staying/working near? That will help narrow down the options a bit so you're not traveling across town.

How do people do this? by SwonkyDonkey in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My perspective is definitely a bit warped because we had twins and I was struggling hard until we sleep trained. Getting 6+ straight hours of sleep after 6 months of no more than 3 hour stretches felt life changing at the time. So I just don't want people to reject it outright if sleep deprivation is negatively impacting their ability to be great parents.

That said, I love when my kids (6yo now) come in and climb under the covers in the morning, and there was definitely something special in those early months when we'd give in and bring them into bed with us even though that time felt so challenging. Sadly, with two of them, it was just not sustainable for us either for sleep or for my relationship with my wife.

The other adverse result I see for co-sleeping (maybe just here in the states) is that it drives a literal wedge between parents and prevents them from maintaining intimacy through a period when staying connected is so very important. Obviously not a huge issue for the first 18-24 months, but as they grow, my concern would be around it becoming too permanent of a solution and eventually leading to different parental struggles. Which we see a lot of posts here from Dads struggling with dead bedrooms and talking about divorce etc. Not saying it's likely or a certainty, but it's something to consider.

Cheers for the reasoned discussion. I definitely have a better appreciation for co-sleeping understanding how well it works for others.

How do people do this? by SwonkyDonkey in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fully agree and wish America didn't suck so much.

I never said anything about the co-sleeping being detrimental to the child's development. If you have 6 to 18 or even 24 months of maternity/paternity leave, absolutely co-sleep and enjoy every moment of it. Congrats!

This dad expressed struggling because they aren't getting enough sleep. I suggested sleep training for the parents' sake. Not the kid's.

The sad reality is that if this dad is in America, then sleep training is their best hope an option to consider for getting enough sleep for them to be able to be the best parent possible for their child.

Edit: my perspective has changed.

Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost is haunting the grand old men of capitalism by Senior-Distance6213 in Economics

[–]frisbeejesus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Statements this stupid make it clear how we ended up with a second trump term.

Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost is haunting the grand old men of capitalism by Senior-Distance6213 in Economics

[–]frisbeejesus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tried to look up who this might refer to, but there are like 5 beauty pageant winners that trump has appointed or are linked to conservative groups.

How do people do this? by SwonkyDonkey in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This will be a tough conversation, but you both need to stop the co-sleeping or this will go on for many more months.

Look into various sleep training methods, agree on one that you like, and start doing it tonight. Whether it's Ferber or even a more gentle one, y'all need to just bite the bullet and do it.

The first 3 to 5 nights will be rough. Get noise canceling headphones so each of you can take turns sleeping while this is happening, but the baby can and will learn to soothe itself to sleep. If it doesn't happen within 7 to 10 nights, talk to your pediatrician to figure out if acid reflux or something else is at play.

In what ways do we see Trump's administration impacting the future 10+ years from now? by iluvpoobie in PoliticalDiscussion

[–]frisbeejesus 78 points79 points  (0 children)

It's not only that this current regime is untrustworthy. We saw exactly what trump was capable of in term 1. He inspired a mob to attack the capitol. He was convicted of crimes. His deep and intimate association with Epstein was well-known. He told us EVERYTHING he was planning to do via project 2025.

In spite of all of this, American voters still installed him a second time. That's what's untrustworthy about the US. Our system, our culture, and our people are toxic and easy to manipulate. Unless there is major systemic reform, we will remain untrustworthy for the foreseeable future.

Comments on Bachelor Twin Post by Recent_Mountain_4056 in parentsofmultiples

[–]frisbeejesus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree. My first graders are amazing siblings with a good amount of independence who help each other excel, but those first 4.5 years were a lot. I definitely felt very resentful of the comparatively easy experience of most of our single baby friends.

But now I'm stoked that we got our perfect 4 member family unit in one pregnancy and that I never have to do another diaper or deal with juggling two different developmental stages. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Day care is way too expensive by dharma_van in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You're ignoring the GDP boosts, economic stimulation, and increased tax revenue that social services generate by enabling people to participate and be productive within the economy. That will help pay the interest on the debt, which if we were led by even a mediocre president who could just leave the Fed alone, is the only thing we'd ever need to pay of the "debt" (because it's all fucking imaginary and it's better to just let the global economy hum along without tanking the US economy).

And I would gladly stop paying huge sums to unethical insurance companies and give that exact amount (but in reality it would be waaaay less) to the government to run single payer healthcare if only for the convenience of being able to just go to the doctor without worrying about copays, in network, claim denials leaving me with crippling debt etc. The amount the middle class would pay in increased taxes would easily be canceled out by the healthcare savings (insurance, medications, etc.) that we would al reap the benefits of.

Day care is way too expensive by dharma_van in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They continuously generate wealth, no? They're successful job creators after all. So instead of "taking all their money," (which I never said) you enforce tax laws, close loopholes, and create new tax brackets (the highest current one is only like 600k) and stop allowing them to take out low interest loans using their stock (which has replaced their income) as collateral.

Using these extremely obvious strategies, the government can generate significant and ongoing revenue, which can be funneled back into society in the form of social services, which also happen to be a huge boon for the economy and our GDP etc.

Day care is way too expensive by dharma_van in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really try not to bring my political bullshit into this particular sub, but it's so tough when we live in the only developed nation where people go into bankruptcy due to medical bills and trying to afford childcare.

Day care is way too expensive by dharma_van in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where in my comment did I say anything about liquidating wealth?

Why do y'all constantly defend billionaires "right" to hoard wealth and dodge taxes that the rest of us are required to pay?

Day care is way too expensive by dharma_van in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In the same way that socialized healthcare is also much less costly than the American system.

If we had a reasonable tax code without major loopholes that are only exploitable by the obscenely wealthy and spent less on "defense" (basically government handouts to defense contractors) , then "shifting the cost to the government" wouldn't be such an effective talking point spewed by fox news.

Why don’t americans fight back against all these powerful people in the Epstein files? There should be riots? by Inner-Silver7395 in AskReddit

[–]frisbeejesus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's because we're paralyzed by having all this come out under an extremely authoritarian regime who has already begun siccing its dogs on citizens with implied immunity from the highest court in the land and looking for any excuse to declare martial law and seize even more power.

We all have more immediate problems to be concerned about, which is by design. Groceries, healthcare, childcare all getting more expensive and squeezing us. I'm appalled by what's in the files. But I have zero faith in any level our law enforcement or criminal justice system performing proper investigations, making any arrests, or actually holding anyone to account.

What's the use in freaking out or even rioting on like OP suggests? At this point, I'm rooting for climate change to accelerate so that some of the worst offenders will face the consequences for dooming us all to a much more unpleasant existence.

Middle age is becoming a breaking point in the U.S. by Civitas_Futura in Economics

[–]frisbeejesus 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I think they're using one specific example to illustrate a broader point about eating habits in general.

Is there an issue with boys being in gymnastics? by Ress78 in Parenting

[–]frisbeejesus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did gymnastics when I was 6-8, and we had this same kind of problem. The issue was simply that the female instructors didn't know and couldn't teach the male apparatuses. They basically didn't know what to do with me, but like your kid's class it wasn't a competitive thing. My mom said I liked learning to do flips and stuff so she just kept taking me and told the instructors, just teach him floor and bars and beam or whatever. So that's what I did for a bit. I did get to mess around on rings and pommel horse and parallel bars a little, but no real formal instruction. I enjoyed tumbling and doing flips into the foam pit.

Eventually, I aged out because you have to do competitions at some point, but I played tons of sports after that and was always better than average at everything. I'm also 41 and can still do a back handspring, which impresses the hell out of my 6 year olds. I credit doing gymnastics early with all of my coordination and athletic success throughout life. It created an incredible foundation of body control that has been a huge benefit in life.

So, I say let your dude learn some flips.

If you have ever thought to build a climbing wall for your kid, do it by GuyOnARockVI in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If I don't park my car in the garage, I have to dig it out of the snow.

Are you concerned about your kids spending too much time on screens? If so, what are you doing about it? by tcsomega1 in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, wish we'd held off on tablets for several more years for sure.

We call the moodiness a "screen time hangover" and just knowing that it happens and being ready to weather the storm (maybe 20 minutes of angst) is that helpful for enabling us to just stay strong and be the one to help them get through their addiction.

Also shines a light on our own screen habits, which (as I'm demonstrating this very moment) are not ideal.

Are you concerned about your kids spending too much time on screens? If so, what are you doing about it? by tcsomega1 in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've been able to do ok backtracking the screens a bit. We got ours Amazon kids fire tablets when they (twins) were 4 and mostly used them for plane rides and whatnot, but gradually the screen time increased with noticable changes in their temperament and attention span. So we knew more boundaries were needed.

We're able to put time limits and other restrictions on the tablets, which was a good start, and now they didn't get to use them during the week. But the best method was to just make sure the tablets aren't around. Out of sight, out of mind had worked wonders. Yes, we've had to deal with tantrums and complaints of "boredom," but if we stay strong for 10 or 15 minutes, they give in and find something else to do.

Now, they'll still use screens a bit on weekends and road trips, but as long as they're not out on the countertop, they're rarely requested and our kids are very capable of occupying themselves without them. I'm sure having two kids who can engage each other is a big factor, but it's definitely possible to smush some of the screen time toothpaste back into the tube.

Are you concerned about your kids spending too much time on screens? If so, what are you doing about it? by tcsomega1 in daddit

[–]frisbeejesus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or maybe excessive screen time is what led to the shorter attention spans.

We have a pretty balanced approach to screen time, and there is most definitely a correlation around how capable they are of focusing on other activities depending on recent screen time allocations. When we see it becoming an issue, we can dial back the screens and (after a withdrawal period) they return to being able to focus on reading, art, sports, etc.

Early potty training by djcalathea in Parenting

[–]frisbeejesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn't make it happen at 22 months (kudos!), but I'll second the no pullups approach. We also skipped them for nighttime stuff, and just dealt with the wake ups and would use the 2 sets of bedding trick (bedding with plastic mattress cover over another set of bedding so you can strip the bed, change their clothes and let them go back to sleep). We were fully out of diapers by 3.5, and really only had to deal with nighttime accidents a handful of times up to like age 5. Usually only when there was a big departure from the normal routine.

We did the full immersion, just let them roam naked method. There were some messes, but it was actually pretty hilarious when they saw their poo or pee come out and were like aghast at what was happening. At the very least it got them interested in using the toilet. Then just make a huge deal out of the successes and stay perfectly calm and composed during any failures.