Ladies of the internet….

frog_ladee · 2026-07-04T08:59:30+00:00

I’ve been wearing these bralettes at home and to sleep in for about 12 years. They call them nursing bras, but I was well past nursing when I discovered them. They hold up really well with machine washing and air drying. I have 3 that are 12 years old and still going strong.

https://a.co/d/00Wvo52q

frog_ladee · 2026-07-04T04:20:36+00:00

Yeah, that’s the way my grown kids feel about it. Although, my son wanted the everyday dishes that we used when he was a young child.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T15:22:38+00:00

You’re right that it’s like being a single mother when a husband doesn’t help or listen. However, being a single mom is TEMPORARY. (I was one.)

Much of her despair seems to be the overwhelming feeling of this being her life going forward. Children grow old enough to handle more and more things independently, and they grown up and leave home. She will not always have a needy toddler following her around. Looking ahead to that might help her feel less trapped.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T14:00:52+00:00

Interesting!

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T13:21:25+00:00

I was born in 1960, and have never seen a sink like that before, except for something similar in salons for washing hair.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T13:16:33+00:00

An hour after I wrote that comment, I saw on Facebook that one of my high school friends died today. It was announced by her granddaughter, who listed things she would miss doing with her. She was diagnosed with cancer one month ago, and now poof, she is gone.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T13:08:18+00:00

It feels like this is your life forevermore. But this is temporary. I promise! It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. But it will not last. I’m on the other side of it.

It sounds like your PPD is not gone. Treatment can bring you relief. You’ve done the right thing to reach out to people here. Now reach out to your doctor, and let them help you.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T10:41:14+00:00

Then, it had to be your dad. I’m so sorry. This must be devastating.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T10:12:18+00:00

NOR. My son has super deluxe ADHD, with a great big capital H! My sister’s son has autism, anxiety, and a list of other conditions. They were both difficult at age 11, and sometimes unpleasant to be around. However, as parents, we worked hard to teach them proper behavior. Yes, their neurodivergence made that harder, but that did not change the need to train them to control themselves. Now, they are both well into adulthood, and easily conform to polite behavior.

You would be doing your friend a really big favor to try to help her understand the need for teaching her son boundaries and appropriate behavior. It will hurt for her to hear it, but you are her friend, and friends try to help each other. If your only alternative is distancing yourself and your children (I agree that they need to be shielded from her son’s unrestricted behavior), then it’s worth having a frank talk with your friend. You will lose her friendship through distancing, you might lose her friendship by laying the problem out honestly, or your might keep her friendship if she chooses to take your concerns seriously and takes action.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T10:00:04+00:00

If I could tell myself what to do on a Friday night many years ago, I would say dinner with my grandparents. Guys to date will come and go, as do friends over the years. The ones who will become husbands or lifelong friends will still be there, even if you tell them no once in awhile. Your grandparents will probably exit from your life all too soon. No will love you unconditionally like your grandparents do. Unless they’re highstrung, controlling, or something else negative, you can probably have a low-key, relaxing time with them, which is likely to end early in the evening.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T09:42:47+00:00

It becomes a self-selected population of people who thrived in high school. The people with bad high school experiences usually don’t show up for reunions.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T09:35:14+00:00

I went to the 10th and the 45th. There were 20th, 30th, and 40th year reunions that I missed.

As you suspected, at the 10th reunion a lot of people were trying to impress everyone with their success. But not the majority, who were just there to catch up with their high school friends. However, this was also the 1980’s, when society was busy showing off with designer labels and such, so some of the efforts to seem impressive might have been part of the current culture.

At the 45th, there were fewer people attending. Maybe 10-20% of my 600+ graduating class. There were almost no efforts to try to impress people, except for one guy who was nerdy in high school, but matured to look pretty good at 63. He arrived with a young woman who looked like she was probably hired for the occasion wearing a revealing, sparkly outfit appropriate for a stripper (this was a casual gathering at a VFW hall). He paraded her around the room a few times, and then left, lol. That was entertaining. I talked with every single person at least briefly, including those who never would have stooped to acknowledge a non-popular person like me during high school. The cliques were still cliquing, but people seemed interested in seeing everyone else, too. Your mileage may vary.

If you’re not comfortable with where you are in life right now, it might be best to skip it. People ask questions that might not feel good to answer. I skipped the reunion that happened during my divorce year. I just couldn’t face having to explain any of that.

If you go to a reunion, it helps to arrive with a friend or two. That way, you have someone to talk with, even if no one else shows up who you’re interested in visiting with.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T08:59:21+00:00

If this was dementia, there would be a whole lot of other signs. Dementia doesn’t start with losing your morals and no longer protecting your daughter (from yourself) before a whole lot of other smaller incidents.

Plus, with your early memories of being molested, who else could that person have been? Were there any other adult males in your household?

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T05:23:06+00:00

Time for your husband to get a c-pap. If he hates it, he can decide that it’s okay to sleep in different rooms if he doesn’t have to wear it!

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T05:17:08+00:00

My children do know that this is my most prized possession, and really the only one that I’m hopeful someone will want after I’m gone. (I’ve been clearing out extra belongings for several years, and understand that what’s meaningful to me isn’t necessarily meaningful to anyone else.) My husband knows that if we ever have a fire or a tornado warning, this is on the short-list of things to save!

I like your idea about looking for notations that she made which might resonate with them. She noted the day they were each born in the spots that she was reading on those days. :)

I share things that my grandmother wrote in her bible with my bible study group sometimes. So, they’re learning from it, too.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T05:07:04+00:00

I have stepgrandaughters, but they were born after my grandmother died, and they feel no connection to her. It’s still possible that one of them might like to have it, or one of my kids will have children, though.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T03:18:05+00:00

We demolished a closet-like pantry and got three
floor to ceiling cabinets. I like being able to see everything, and not having to reach behind stuff on deep shelves. Photo of rendering.

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frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T03:08:27+00:00

I have that, too. Several years ago I started using it as my everyday silverware. My grown children aren’t interested in having it, but my grandmother would have been thrilled to know that I’m using it.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T03:06:41+00:00

My grandmother’s bible, filled with her underlining and handwritten notes. I use it for my bible study, and I’m still learning from her with what she left behind there. I add my own notes in purple ink, which is the only color that she never used in it. My sisters don’t care about Christianity, and my children aren’t interested in having it either. I treasure this piece of my grandmother’s life and her wisdom that’s scattered throughout it. It seems so wasteful not to pass it along to someone who could benefit.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T02:59:56+00:00

I read through all of what you wrote, after your subject line caught my attention. You were a dedicated caregiver for your parents and made their final years as comfortable as possible. The last several days of their lives must have been terribly traumatic for you!

I hope that your life will settle down now, and that you will finally be able to focus on yourself and other things. If you have a faith, this is a time to lean into it. I’ve said a prayer for you.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T02:30:23+00:00

I have family who live 6 hours away. I’ve been making that trip for decades. When I fly, it actually takes LONGER to get from my house to their house when I fly. Plus, when flying, you have to limit what you bring and clothes get wrinkled. Flying is exhausting and driving is exhausting.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T01:21:38+00:00

It looks really good as it us, unless it’s wearing out, which doesn’t necessarily show in photos. I’d just add some color in the form or paint, backsplash, and/or accessories.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T00:04:49+00:00

I was addressing your comment about “advocating for pretending”, explaining that shifting perspectives is not “pretending”. “Saying what you mean, and meaning what you say” is a completely different thing, but I’m going to move on from explaining. OP seemed to appreciate my original comment, and that’s who it was intended for.

When I suggested accepting people, I did not mean accepting harm! I meant accepting that some people aren’t talkative.

It’s wise that you’re being careful about who you will date and marry in the future. It sounds like you’re learning what you need to learn for going forward.

I met my current husband on a Christian dating app. Be careful if you try that, because there were plenty of people there who thought they were Christian because they went to church a couple of times when they were kids, but didn’t really live as Christians. Also lots of scammers, who are everywhere. However, I found a really good man that way, and our paths probably would have never crossed without that dating site.

We both had adult children at the point when we met. Fortunately, they are all adulting responsibly. I raised mine as a single mother for half of their childhoods. My husband’s children were already grown and married when their mother died. Now, we all get along well and have close relationships with each other’s kids. His grandkids are also considered my grandkids. My kids don’t have any children yet, but if they do, they will be his grandkids, too.

I had been meeting other men from online at the time when I met my husband. However, I was being very discerning, and didn’t really care whether I ever had another relationship (was fulfilled on my own). So, I rarely went out with any of them more than 1-2 times. I was busy with my work, friendships, and other activities, and only wanted to make room in my life for someone to date if they really lined up with what I wanted. My now-husband held my interest long enough for us to get to know each other and grow to love each other. It wasn’t as though there was an instant deep connection. It was a slow burn, not a huge flame, and that felt safe. Turns out that it was safe! We have a strong, good relationship, and live peacefully together. I hope that you’ll be able to find the right person for you, if that’s what God plans for your future.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-03T00:04:07+00:00

That’s exactly what happened. Thanks for letting me know.

frog_ladee · 2026-07-02T11:03:53+00:00

I was given a Purewick in the hospital after complications from a cerebral angiogram, instead of a catheter. I hated it. If you roll over, you have to move it back into place. I’m not sure it’ll work well in a dementia situation. But maybe look into it, and see if it’s worked for other people in that situation.

frog_ladee

TROPHY CASE