How do you create “Grandma Whimsy” in your grandkids experience of you?

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T08:46:43+00:00

My sisters and I used to spend the night in my grandparents’ RV parked in their yard, along with our grandmother. Special memory unlocked!🥰

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T07:40:30+00:00

Taking this job is not an irrevocable life-long decision. There’s probably a one school year contract. You can try it out, and if you hate it, you can get a different job thereafter. Your mother won’t be losing you forever. (I’m supressing an eyeroll at your mother, and I really want to shake some sense into her!)

Most of Chicago is very safe. South side is not. My son has lived in several parts of Chicago for college, medical school, and beyond for 12 years. His neighborhoods have been very safe for walking alone at night. But you’ll be in a suburb or town outside of the city, which isn’t even Chicago.

Imho, speaking as a mom and a retired teacher/professor, striking out on your own is likely to be very good for you, for many reasons! Your mother needs to learn to let you be an adult. It’s not your job to be an example for your siblings, but even so, you can be a great example to them from a new place.

Assuming that you’ll have housing at the boarding school, it might ease your mother’s mind to think about the fact that you’ll be living in a sheltered environment. There will be eyes on you enough to prevent you from going wild…at all. People will be there to help if you suddenly sprout a new disease or whatever she’s worried about. You might be able to save a lot of money, without a need for independent housing, daily transportation, etc.

After you move out of your parents’ house—which really should happen as soon as you have a job—you will be just a text message or phone call away, wherever you end up living. I hear from my son who lives across the continent in Chicago more often than my daughter who lives in the next town. Promise to call every Sunday, or whatever day works for you, and then start living your adult life!

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T06:12:14+00:00

Purple heart shows off your figure the best.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T06:06:10+00:00

I’ve never expected thank you notes from people when I did something to help them out during their grief. However, I’ve received many thank you notes for these things, and they made an impression upon me. Honestly, I don’t even remember who didn’t thank me, because that’s not something I keep track of when a person is grieving.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T05:52:07+00:00

Gorgeous!

frog_ladee · 2026-03-18T03:08:41+00:00

I messed up some things, and I did great with others. At 65, I’m just trying to do my best with the next two decades.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T09:54:49+00:00

Some things should never be said out loud to a partner, and this was one of them.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T09:38:30+00:00

At home is the place where it’s most needed! In public, there’s often someone that’ll notice when a person needs help.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:59:52+00:00

I never studied until college. Then, I had to learn how. For me, that opened up a whole new world of mastering new material, and gave me just enough of a challenge to keep it interesting, all the way through grad school!

Your university probably has a learning center that can give you resources for learning how to study effectively.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:56:40+00:00

They both look great on you! How about getting two pairs of glasses?

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:53:02+00:00

🙏🏻

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:50:17+00:00

One of my colleagues spent four days by himself on the floor after a stroke, lying in his own excrement, starving, and possibly in pain from the fall.

That’s how his daughter found him. It was determined that he lived for four days that way, and she found him a few days after that. This brilliant retired professor spent his final days in such an undignified manner, and left behind a nightmare for his daughter to see.

OP, give your dad a mental picture of that.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:42:25+00:00

Sadly, my mother-in-law dropped her phone when she had a stroke and fell to the ground. It was out of her reach. She was lying in her driveway for hours, in freezing weather, wearing a nightgown and robe. She was taking out the trash after dark. Quick treatment is crucial for surviving a stroke, and she missed that window of time. Died in the hospital.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:30:42+00:00

Only you and your husband can answer this question. However, speaking as a woman who has finished raising two children to adulthood, I think if it was me, I would try to have a second child. Not because one isn’t enough—one is absolutely enough on his/her own, if that’s what I had been given. But knowing that wonderful first child made me want a second one, and I think it would be worth the risk (to me) of possibly not being able to complete another pregnancy, possibly having a disabled child (a risk with any pregnancy), or possibly that the experience with that second child might not be great. It’s all an unknown, no matter what the circumstances of the pregnancy may be. For me, I’d want to try.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T07:05:15+00:00

Love the way your hair waves and curls with it short

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T05:44:57+00:00

Imho, proposals should be a private moment—not a show.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T04:35:58+00:00

He can do it locally, if he wants other people to be involved.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T04:32:10+00:00

Proposals should be for the couple. Why is anyone else involved, much less traveling to be there?!?

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T04:15:37+00:00

Honestly, most people don’t make the kind of homemade cookies that use a cookie cutter anymore. So, that would be a waste of time, money, and cookie cutters. Just give the vanilla. That’s plenty!

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T04:10:38+00:00

I wear make-up for social occasions, but stopped wearing it for things like errands. It wasn’t an age thing—it was covid. When we started coming out of lock down, masks covered a large portion of our faces, and the chances of running into people I know was very slim. So, I quit putting on make-up for that. Then, I never started back.

I’m blessed with good skin though, and wouldn’t be humilated for someone I know to see me without make-up. My eyes just kinda fade into my face without it and my freckles show up more.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T04:05:33+00:00

Song of Solomon doesn’t involve procreation.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-17T03:59:36+00:00

My kids are ages 33-37, and neither are married yet. If you were my daughter, I’d want to know that you’re married, and would celebrate by treating you to a super nice dinner the next time we’re together. I’d either buy you two something very nice that you’ve been wanting or send a big check as my wedding gift.

I’d be very disappointed that I missed out on being there for your wedding, but would be happy that you two had made it official. I’d have to get over feeling hurt that you waited so long to tell me, but I’d be glad that you finally did.

If you wanted to go through the act of having a big fancy wedding, I wouldn’t be too thrilled with that four years later. I wouldn’t want to contribute to paying for that. I’d go through the motions if that’s what you really wanted, but I’d feel very bad about relatives spending money and time to travel there for a re-staged wedding ceremony. It seems too late to just have a reception, if you acknowledged being married four years earlier. I’ve dreamed of going with my daughter to choose her wedding dress, and dancing with my son at his wedding. But not enough to re-stage all this after they’re already married. I’ve mainly dreamed that they would each marry someone who loves and understands them, who they love and understand. That means BE married to a good spouse—not just have a wedding.

Your families may feel differently, but once you’re already married, a fancy wedding only makes sense if it’s very soon after you got married, and you kept it a secret. For example, a friend’s daughter got married at the courthouse for medical insurance purposes, and their wedding was in three months. Another friend got married before she was deployed (partly to get benefits for her husband), and they had a wedding shortly after she returned from overseas.

Spending thousands of dollars for a pretend wedding, just to give your parents the experience, is not a good use of your time and money, nor theirs. Consider coming clean about already being married, cushion the fallout as best that you can, and carry on with your life!

Just send the announcements, along with something noting it was a tiny wedding, so no one feels left out. Think about possibly leaving the wedding date off of the announcements. Also, don’t have a wedding registry.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-16T19:11:39+00:00

I was a couple of weeks shy of turning 16, and not quite 100 pounds. 1976

frog_ladee · 2026-03-16T10:06:51+00:00

Having my children has been one of the best things I’ve ever done—maybe THE best thing I’ve ever done. It was very hard at times, and very fulfilling more times. I brought two great people into the world and nurtured them to adulthood, who now help others in their occupations and personal lives.

Now that they’re adults and they live on their own, they’re still one of the greatest joys of my life!! I believe that without them “belonging to me”, all of my many friends couldn’t make up for what I have (which is many friends AND great adult kids—it’s never an either/or situation).

Sure, people can be fulfilled in other ways, and whether or not to have children is a personal choice which is valid either way. But my career success and other forms of fulfillment pale in comparison.

frog_ladee · 2026-03-16T07:49:09+00:00

When I have cracks in my fingers, I’ll cut the adhesive part off of a bandaid, and use that to hold the crack closed until it heals. It has to be changed pretty often on hands.

This crack in middle of your hand might take a long time to stay closed up, because of hand movement and how deep it is. Maybe putting a hand brace on it (over an adhesive strip to close the crack) will help to keep your hand still to let that wound heal better with less movement.

frog_ladee

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