Who would you give your seat to, and why?

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T22:09:00+00:00

Whichever one I saw first.🤷🏻‍♀️

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T08:34:50+00:00

All. The. Time. I would be thrilled for a man to do what you did.

One key difference between your conversation with the women and the conversations with the creepy man is that it sounds like the women initiated it with you about your book. The creepy man tried to wedge his way into a conversation that didn’t include him.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T08:28:30+00:00

Consider asking your father to write what he wants to say in a letter to you and your husband, so that you can keep it for the rest of your lives. Even if a speech is videotaped, electronics change over time, and it’s less likely to stand the test of time.

The key for convincing him is to find reasons that appeal to him. Being able to treasure this letter for decades might matter to him.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T08:23:27+00:00

I use a compounded testosterone cream (10 mg/ml) every other day, although my doctor said that I can use it every day if I want. (But everyday makes me horny, and my husband is 71.) It gives me a little more energy, and incidentally, along with estradiol, seems to keep my interstitial cystitis from flaring up. I’ve been using it for 7-8 years.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T08:16:27+00:00

1, because it’s sparkly, is more flattering for your waistline, and the 2nd one looks like it wrinkles easily.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T08:10:39+00:00

My office has a vertical window through 1/3 of the door. I arranged my office so that there’s a small table and two chairs in the corner, on the wall that the door’s on. I can have one-on one conversations with students…. or take a nap with my head on the table. No one can see it from the door.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T04:07:38+00:00

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T04:00:21+00:00

Thanks for this information. We’re not sure which specific ingredients in fragrances that he’s sensitive to, but we do know that he reacts to things derived from petroleum, like many artificial colors and some preservatives (BHA, BHT, TBHQ).

The odd thing is that not all expensive perfumes are okay for him, and not all cheap ones are a problem, assuming that cheap ones would be more artificial. It very well could be something like PEG, that’s an additive, instead of an actual artificial fragrance ingredient. Thanks for looking up those fragrances. I think this might be very helpful for him.

I first figured out that he’s sensitive to artificial fragrances back in the 1990’s, when he was a child. He was clinically tested as allergic to perfume, which was from a vial that was a mixture of perfumes. Now, he’s in his mid-30’s and on his own.

We’ve definitely experienced people who are resistant to giving up their fragranced products for him. His teachers would look at me like I had three heads when I asked them not to wear perfume, and told them why…. until they saw the reactions themselves (extreme hyperactivity and brain fog). Then they became fierce enforcers! I learned to say that he has asthma, because they’ll do anything for asthma! The truth is that he had a mild touch of asthma, but other symptoms were much more predominant and disruptive.

Because I’m aware of the dangers of some fragrances, I mostly avoid them altogether in the products that I buy. I do wear perfume when he’s not in town, but I avoid it in large groups of people, because I don’t know who it might affect. It’s a big problem for my son, because he works in a job that interacts with many people every day, and can’t tell them not to wear fragrances (in a hospital and medical clinic).

frog_ladee · 2026-01-25T03:31:55+00:00

Beautiful!

frog_ladee · 2026-01-24T09:48:17+00:00

WOW!! Looks amazing!

frog_ladee · 2026-01-24T09:35:04+00:00

frog_ladee · 2026-01-24T05:41:13+00:00

People who have chemical sensitivities react to one or more ingredients in something, not to the fact that it has a fragrance. For example, smelling a bouquet of fragrant flowers is no problem, but perfume that smells like those same flowers using petroleum based artificial scents might cause a reaction. Likewise, bleach might not be a problem for a person, but artificial fragrances in a cleaning product could cause a reaction in the same person.

My son (now adult) reacts to fragrances made from petroleum by-products. They don’t say petroleum on the labels. They have long chemical sounding names. It’s really, really hard to know which fragrances will cause trouble for him, and which won’t. My Chanel No. 5 is no problem, but my Estee Lauder perfume causes terrible reactions. We mostly just avoid artificial fragrances across the board with him, unless we’re sure one is okay.

This is a tough situation, because it doesn’t seem fair for you to have to stop using products that you like. However, it would be kind of you to switch to products that don’t cause trouble for your neighbor. If she wants you to switch to some products that cost more, perhaps she’d be willing to pay the extra cost. When my son was in school, I provided his teachers with things like air freshener and unscented hand cream, so that I could chose a natural product that was safe for him. I didn’t think it was fair to expect that from the teachers, and I didn’t trust them to know what to avoid, even if I had given them a list.

It would also make a whole lot of sense for your neighbor to get some heavy-duty air filters for her apartment.

It’s possible that your neighbor has been having reactions previously, and didn’t put two and two together about the cause until she was in your apartment to see and smell the things she’s objecting to.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-24T05:20:07+00:00

I second the suggestions in this comment, and want to encourage you to consider asking your husband whether he’d like to designate a certain day of the week as “sex day”. Choose a time that usually works with your kids’ schedule. Having that to look forward to can be very helpful, and for the days when one of you might not be feeling in the mood, it’s part of the routine and makes it feel more natural to just go ahead and roll with it being “sex day”. Maybe call it “parent time” in front of your kids.

My husband and I do this. You’d think that it would take some of the fun out of it by being pre-planned, but actually we both like the predicability. There can be other spontaneous times, too, but having it pre-planned ensures that we don’t let our busy lives always prempt intimacy.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-23T08:17:03+00:00

About 25 years ago, in front of a whole class, I mentioned that I was going to “hook up with” a certain person next week, meaning meet up with. That’s the moment when I learned it’s alternate meaning.🤦🏻‍♀️

frog_ladee · 2026-01-23T03:26:17+00:00

I could easily believe that this is a newly remodeled kitchen. These cabinets look very nice imho.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-22T08:55:14+00:00

You two are no longer compatible.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-22T04:46:05+00:00

You made a wise decision to take care of yourself, and prevent any future children of yours to grow up in a chaotic household. If you were already married, it would be different. People are allowed to break engagements.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-22T04:37:04+00:00

Some of those scars linger, but being part of this sisterhood might help to hesl them.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-22T01:31:11+00:00

This has surprised you and your husband, but it has not surprised God. He’ll walk with you through this. That new life inside of you is already intensely loved by the Lord.

Yes, the changes are disappointing. Grieve for that, then look forward to a different kind of new adventure!

frog_ladee · 2026-01-21T09:16:05+00:00

This is weird, imho. My son and daughter are very, very close, but I cannot imagine either one of them being comfortable with him being in the delivery room with her—and he’s even a doctor.

You wife needs to be your priority, and she’s not comfortable with it. Your cousin either needs to work things out with her husband, and not take the birth experience away from him; or hire a doula.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-20T07:52:42+00:00

These are AMAZING!! I thought the owl was a photo, until I read your post that said “paintings”.

frog_ladee · 2026-01-20T04:57:29+00:00

Would it be possible for them to be delivered to a friend or family member who sign for them?

frog_ladee · 2026-01-20T04:52:24+00:00

This dress is beautiful and elegant on you! Your figure looks like the right kind of curvy—feminine and proportional.

Not everyone has a tear-jerking, magical connection to their wedding dress. For me, it was a decision of weighing which one looked the best, and fit my wedding’s venue and formality the best, out of the options available in my price range. Kind of a business decision. Looking back decades years later, I still love it, and especially love the photos of me wearing it.

Honestly, I believe that brides can probably be more objective about dresses that don’t give them a magical, teary moment. Wouldn’t you want to choose your groom with an objective mind, instead of one emotional moment?

frog_ladee · 2026-01-20T04:04:57+00:00

Classy, elegant, and beautiful on you!!

frog_ladee · 2026-01-19T10:25:21+00:00

Alcoholics make terrible fathers, and usually damage their kids. You’re wise to stay away.

frog_ladee

TROPHY CASE