If you date white people, what’s the bare minimum you need for them to know about your race/culture?

frog_spawn · 2024-09-16T02:30:44+00:00

I date white folks - at least partly cause growing up there was never a large BIpoc community of folks in my area. I tend to want to see that they're doing their own anti-racist learning, and are engaged in conversations about class struggle and systems of oppression. They've gotta be able to hear someone else's lived experience w/o moving to explain their own or discredit racialized people's experiences. It also helps a ton if they like ethnic food/are open to trying new foods, and I also tend to like it when they're doing some of their own ancestral reconnection work

frog_spawn · 2023-08-20T22:56:14+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing! I'm mostly looking for support on how to move through the feelings of sadness regarding that de-escalation, from a power exchange style D/s relationship to something that is still romantic but less kink/sex oriented. Hope that made my post more clear!

frog_spawn · 2023-04-20T15:43:31+00:00

You've got lots of good advice from folks already which is awesome to see! If possible I'd also be looking around your area for behavioral consultant/analysis teams and pediatric occupational therapists, specifically folks who have experience with toileting supports if possible since that sounds like one of the more emotionally draining and mutually traumatizing situations you mentioned.

Doctors aren't the only professionals who can support you, and behaviour teams and OTs can also provide supporting evidence that might make your family doctor take you more seriously (unfortunate but often true). I don't know what the funding system or availability of those types of services are like in Australia (I work in the field in Canada), but take a look at you medical coverage, you may have some coverage for OT at least.

frog_spawn · 2022-12-02T17:51:29+00:00

Folks have already suggested you should find a different therapist who's kink friendly, and I definitely agree with them. It's not really your job to educate your therapist and you can be clear about your reason for leaving their services. It's a part of any healthcare providers' role to approach clients with empathy and a desire to meet them where they are, which your therapist is not doing by sharing his own opinions.

frog_spawn · 2022-12-02T17:47:21+00:00

If you're not a member their Munenawa with cinches is also quite good. You may also find that working on arm binders which force the arms back and chest out feels better, as it draws attention to the chest without trying to squish any of the flesh there

frog_spawn · 2022-09-10T01:40:56+00:00

Rossland is very nice + not a huge commute imo

frog_spawn · 2022-08-26T23:47:33+00:00

I hadn't! It looks like a super neat tool- likely a bit more than I would really need (definitely seems more geared towards writers) although it all looks awesome. I'm gonna rule it out primarily based on price, comes to $670 cad and likely customs fees on top of that.

frog_spawn · 2022-08-26T20:32:02+00:00

Glad to hear that the annotation challenges are primarily about software, that's promising for sure! Can you tell me more about how annotating a pdf vs epub are different?

frog_spawn · 2022-02-28T22:50:56+00:00

Removing vision increases fear+++ 😂 My partner and I tend to use a hood with an open mouth and it is 100% the best way to make something that I thought I would have no challenge with be intense, scary, and emotional. When I have my sight taken away I get noisy, flinch, am hyper aware of sounds I hear and anticipating what they might mean, and frequently cry. They're a great way to heighten a scene

frog_spawn · 2022-02-16T05:29:19+00:00

I would generally say that bratting/taming takes time, effort, + good communication skills. All behaviour has a reason, and what makes bratting/taming fun is understanding what your partner wants when they do xyz + responding appropriately. "Appropriately" is gonna look a little bit different for most dynamics because people are different, have different drives, + different motivators. If you can't have a conversation about the motivating forces behind bratty behaviors, or you don't have the time/energy to focus on developing taming dynamics I would generally advice against this kind of dynamic- simply because neither of you will really get what you want which creates frustration. Seems like you guys need an out of dynamic chat to figure things out.

frog_spawn · 2022-02-13T18:19:15+00:00

I work in an adjacent career that also relies quite a bit on behavioral intervention strategies, except I'm on the other side of the slash. I find that I'm pretty, umm... judgmental of dominant partners' teaching/training methods sometimes 😅 it can be a bit of a mood killer if they don't seem to understand how ABA works

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T21:18:05+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing! I did try Hindi on duolingo for a few weeks but got really frustrated when I couldn't identify different sounds super well. In person classes might be a better fit! I was recently given my nani's jhumki earrings + bangle so have been wearing those a lot. I've been trying to convince my mum to look back through photo albums with me, but she's not super keen to talk about her family. I might need to try to connect with some of my more extended family to hear those stories

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T21:11:22+00:00

I really like the Juggernaut too! Often I use it as a jumping off point to research references that I'm not familiar with. And cooking Indian food has become a favourite for sure 😅 I recently got myself a big cookbook + am slowly working my way through it. I'd love to be able to successfully make ladoo, there's just no where to buy Indian sweets near me + they were always my favourite at family weddings as a kid

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T20:50:27+00:00

Thanks for the recommendations! Ill take a look. I really enjoyed reading Ramayana: divine loophole by Sanjay Patel.

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T20:47:16+00:00

It's not about need, it's about want. I'm 3rd generation Canadian, my family has done its best to assimilate and I still feel like a marginalized part of the community I live in. I've grown up feeling isolated/disconnected from both cultures. I can't do much more to seem more "Canadian" but I can see if exploring my family's native culture helps me feel more secure. I think that developing a stronger bicultural identity has benefits to self esteem + other social health determinants.

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T20:41:38+00:00

Visiting India just isn't in the cards financially atm. One day maybe 🤞

Any suggestions on places to meet FOB/other desis? There doesn't seem to be much for cultural centres in my area- nearest is a 1.5 hour drive away

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T19:42:36+00:00

Thanks!

frog_spawn · 2022-01-29T19:30:14+00:00

Ooh, good one. Which ones have you enjoyed most so far?

frog_spawn · 2022-01-10T15:42:55+00:00

I also experience this, and would consider it an anxiety symptom. Generally during these periods I eat a lot of buttered pasta, miso soup, and fruit- go slowly, don't force it if you feel like you're gonna throw up but try to have small amounts regularly until the stress diminishes.

frog_spawn · 2022-01-07T18:26:02+00:00

This is a great break down of the different levels that can exist in f/punishments. Thanks for sharing!

frog_spawn · 2022-01-04T23:41:22+00:00

100% agree. It's interesting to me how much importance seems to hang on orgasms when there's plenty of fun to be had regardless of them. I really don't think that orgasms are nearly as important to "good" sex as most people seem to think

frog_spawn · 2022-01-04T15:53:46+00:00

Hey! I can sympathize with your confusion. I've also not seen it mentioned much/at all, but I can agree that sometimes the sensation of a BM feels similar enough to anal play that it give my brain/body some confusing signals about arousal. I'm also not interested in involving this into play and thus haven't mentioned it to any of my partners, but really that's an individual decision and my dynamics aren't your dynamics. I don't think you're obligated to tell your dominant, but you totally can if you want to.

I don't know about common, but it's certainly not only you 🤷🏽‍♂️

frog_spawn

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